


Say Thank You

by Honeyhan_123



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drugs, Dubious Consent, F/M, Kidnapping, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shameless Smut, Smut, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2020-12-08 23:54:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20985374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honeyhan_123/pseuds/Honeyhan_123
Summary: Nearly five years have passed since Steve Rogers saves your life without so much as a thank you. When he sees you again by chance, he makes sure that he’ll never let you go and maybe teach you some manners in the process.





	1. The Battle

**Author's Note:**

> Series Warnings: This will be dark!Steve, stalking, kidnapping, manipulating, teeny tiny bit of death in the first part. If you don’t enjoy that sort of stuff then please don’t read it. Eventual smut including some non-con. 
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Teeny tiny mention of death and war, and a small hint of Dark!Steve.

The first time you had seen him was nearly five years ago now. It had been during the battle of New York, it was a normal day for you until they attacked. You had been on your way to you job at the little cafe on fifth avenue when mahem started ensuing. The sky had opened up and what appeared to be aliens were flying down, firing blasters left, right, and center. You had been so stuck in place staring up at the sky that you hadn’t noticed the car until it had pinned you down, right on the street. It had been hit by one of the blasts from the alien and now it was slowly crushing you, your legs completely trapped underneath the heavy metal. The sounds of the battle raging around you were blocking out your desperate calls for help as your fellow New Yorkers fled from the streets, leaving you alone, thinking you were going to die. 

You lay there, pinned against the hard tarmac for what felt like hours as you saw countless aliens - chitauri as you would later find out they were called - wrecked havoc on the city. They tore street signs out of the ground, broke hundreds of windows and killed many. Each time you saw one out of the corner of your eye, you thought that it would be the one to kill you but for the most part they seemed to not notice you, concealed by the heavy Audi on top of you. For the most part they seemed most focussed on fighting something, or someone, you couldn’t quite tell what it was. That is until a group of the chitauri noticed you and started edging towards you, their scepters raised, circling your helpless position, and he had come, landing right in front of you.

Captain America. The guy everyone had been obsessed with since he had been found in the Arctic. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you could instantly recognise that bright blue uniform from its time on the news cycle a few years back. You had always thought he was a little overrated but as you watched him fight off the chitauri surrounding you, you had never been more thankful for the blue eyed super soldier. You watched his taut muscles flex underneath his uniform as he threw his shield, knocking out the last of the enemies.

He stood with his back to you, his perfect back on display and his golden hair reflecting the sunlight as his helmet had been knocked off during the fight. ‘Captain America!’ You called out to him nearly straining your voice as you tried to get his attention, ‘help me please!’ As he turned, you realised that the blurry photos from the forties had not done him justice, his strong jaw was clenched and even from this distance you could still see the piecing blue of his eyes. He had a few strands of hair out of place and despite your current situation, you longed to reach out and run your hands through it, whether to push it back into place or mess it up further you weren’t quite sure.

Steve’s jaw clenched as he turned, slightly out of breath from the battle, it had been a while since he had needed to fight like this, and saw you lying helpless underneath an overturned Audi, your lower half hidden from view. He was sure that if you hadn’t have called out to him he wouldn’t have noticed you as you were so well hidden by the Grey hunk of metal. Despite the modern times, the battle was bringing back painful memories of the war and seeing someone who was innocent in all this, so completely helpless broke his heart. It ensured him that he had made the right decision to join SHIELD so that he could help people like you. He rushed over to where you lay, stopping next to your face and crouched down. ‘Are you okay ma’am?’

You nearly wanted to roll your eyes, of course you were not okay, you were trapped underneath a freaking car! But instead you just smiled and nodded, not trusting your voice to hide the pain coursing through your body. He flashed his pearly whites in what was meant to be a reassuring smile but did nothing to help the panic you felt and slowly started to lift the car. You had to admit that seeing someone up close demonstrate such an incredible amount of strength did things to you, making you feel a little hot all over. You were so caught up by the way his muscles strained, not even a metre away that you almost didn’t realise you now had enough room to shimmy out, freeing yourself. You sat next to him, still a little dazed as you tepidly started stretching out your legs, eventually regaining the feeling of your limbs.

It was only once you were free, sitting so enticingly close and staring up at him with a dazed look in your eyes that Steve really noticed you. Maybe it was just the battle raging on around you reminding him of the war but the only word he could think of to describe you would be a dame. He knew that now days women weren’t really called dames anymore but damn, you were gorgeous, even with the sweat and grime covering your face. 

Natasha’s panic stricken voice over his ear piece pulled Steve out of his trance as she informed him that there were a whole lot more of the chitauri incoming. He knew that he had to get back to the fight but first he wanted to ensure that you were okay. Reaching out a tentative hand to wipe away some of the blood that was spilling from a cut on your forehead, he leaned in a little closer than he probably should have asking you again if you were okay and needed any assistance. 

You shrunk away from him as you felt his fingers on your skin, you didn’t appreciate random strangers touching you whether or not they had just saved your life. ‘Yeah, I think I’m gonna be okay, I mean I can still love my legs so that’s good right?’ You tried for a smile but it just came out as a grimace, your lower body was still incredibly sore. 

Steve Reluctantly stood, still a little too enraptured with you, as he started to move away, forcing himself to refocus on the battle. He noticed a police officer nearby and so he called out to get his attention, he wanted to make sure you were safe in all the chaos that was happening around him. ‘Officer! Can you please ensure this young lady gets to safety? She should be okay past 31st street, we’re trying to keep the battle contained within this perimeter. She should probably also seek medical attention, she’s been trapped underneath a car and may have some internal bleeding.’ His authoritative tone and the way he was speaking about you as though you weren’t even there made you feel like a child, but still you smiled and accepted the hand the police officer offered, hoisting you up to wobbly legs. He wrapped an arm around your waist and started leading you off, towards his car as Steve watched you leave walking away from him, not even bothering to look back. 

It was only in the coming days as Steve struggled to get you out of his head that he realised you had never even said thank you.


	2. Madrid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: masturbation, hints of non-con aspects, dark!Steve, PTSD.

II. Madrid 

The next time he saw you was in Madrid.

A few months after the battle of New York, you were still having nightmares of being trapped under that car, chitauri surrounding you. Every night you would wake up in a cold sweat, heart racing erratically as you tried to reassure yourself that you were safe now, they were gone, the Avengers had saved the day. But it never worked and eventually you just became afraid to fall asleep, so afraid of the ever present night terrors that you would try to stay awake for days at a time. 

Of course when you had bags so dark underneath your eyes that it hurt to rub them, your eyesight occasionally going blurry from lack of sleep, you finally had to give in, only to wake up mere hours later in an even worse state. 

In the beginning your friends had tried to be there for you, sharing similar horror stories of that day, but they didn’t seem nearly as affected as you were. They could still go out at night, walk down the street without constantly looking over their shoulders, you couldn’t. After the first month of having to endure your constant state of panic, they started drifting, so slowly that you hadn’t really realised until one by one they had left you all alone, with no one but the Chitauri to keep you company. 

You finally realised that you needed help when the sound of a car backfiring outside the cafe you worked at had made you cower in fear, shattering a stack of glasses in the process. The table which you had hidden under protected you from the external horrors, the heavy wood above your head, although littered with marks from its many years of service still held strong, little rainbows dancing along the underside, reflecting off of the glass shards that dug into you. 

That night you had gone online and booked a one way plane ticket, maybe if you ran far enough your nightmares wouldn’t be able to find you.

Madrid would be your new home. 

+

Steve had been undercover at a cantina, waiting for the mark to come by when he saw you again. To say he was shocked to see you here, in Madrid of all places, would be an understatement. It was only his first day here, he had joined Bucky and Nat on the stakeout last night and neither of them would have recognised you but he did. He remembered. 

He remembered the way your body had felt in his arms, your perfect curves that had been hidden by too many layers, your pink lips that had been screaming to be kissed. He also remembered your ingratitude. 

At first it had just served as a reminder to Steve that times had changed while he was in the ice. This world was so different to the one he had known; once people had to work for their dreams and had proper manners. Now however, they just expected everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. Yours wasn’t the first case of it that he had noticed, but it was the one that stuck to him, plaguing his mind. 

The way you had just shrugged him off made him feel like he was back in the 1930’s, still the skinny kid from Brooklyn whom dames always passed over, always preferring his sole friend, Bucky. He had thought that after getting the serum his days of being ignored and treated like scum were over, but apparently not.

In the weeks after the battle instead of focussing on the clean-up of the city, his thoughts had been completely occupied by you and your indifference to him. During the nights his obsession never let up as he dreamt of finding you, of teaching you some manners. 

Initially he had been ashamed, horrified even. Never in a million years had he ever thought of treating a dame in such a way but as the nights continued, weeks turning into months, so did the dreams that were growing increasingly hard to resist. 

Many times as he awoke too soon to blame his stained sheets on purely just his dream. On those occasions his hand you make their way down his body, into the waistband of his boxers as if on their own accord, freeing him of the constricting material. One hand would wrap around his painfully hard cock, the other would start tugging at his balls as he chased the fleeing memories of his dream.

As he worked his hand up and down his length his mind shifted between ideas of how he would force some manners into you; sometimes he would simply imagine bringing you the brink of an orgasm, continually denying you until you were a mess, begging for him, pleading him to let you come, promising him anything. On his darker days however, he would imagine you tied up, hands and legs bound, spread eagle on his bed as he ravished your body, just as helpless as you had been stuck under that car, completely at his mercy. Maybe that would teach you some manners. 

As time had passed he had become increasingly obsessed with you, obsessed with what he would do to you if he ever saw you again and now here you were, so close that he could reach his hand out and grab your ass if he wanted to.

Steve watched as you made your way around the tables, taking people’s orders in both English and Spanish so easily that he wondered if you had always been able to speak it. His palms rubbed against the rough denim of his jeans as you neared his table, he still couldn’t believe you were here, so tantalizingly close to him. 

He knew that he couldn’t be recognised, it would blow the whole recon mission so he pulled his dark blue baseball cap pulled low, further over his brow even though Nat had said the full beard he was now sporting was disguise enough. It pained him to avert his eyes from you as you stopped, standing at his table, ready to take his order, but he knew he needed to. There would be time enough for watching you after the mission was finished.

+

Five years had now passed since the battle of New York and Madrid was still your home. At first it has been hard, living in a new place, trying to find work with the handful of Spanish you had picked up from here and there. Eventually you found your saving grace, Mariana, an older woman who owned a cantina near the hotel you had been staying at. She hired you despite your complete lack of Spanish and over time you helped each other, you taught her English while she gave you work and a place to stay at a small cost. 

As the months turned into years, your nightmares started fading away. Not all at once and definitely not completely, but they no longer took ahold of you every night or occupied your every waking thought. Instead they settled, taking up residence in a back corner of your mind, occasionally stirring every now and then. But it was manageable now, far away in Madrid, protected by the great mass of water separating you and fifth avenue. 

\+ 

It was a slow day today at the cantina. Barely any tables had patrons sitting in them but that was just as well though, you hated when it was packed, reminding you of the crowded streets of New York. as you flittered between tables, taking orders and bringing out dishes you noticed a man had taken up one of the empty tables. 

Immediately you knew he was American, his baseball cap practically screamed as much. You had never realised until you had come to Europe just how painfully obvious Americans always were when they travelled. 

‘Good afternoon, here’s our menu but can I get you anything to drink while you decide?’ You asked, passing over the laminated paper, shivering as his fingers brushed over yours. 

‘Just an Americano thank you.’ You smiled and nodded and went to walk away. There was something oddly familiar about him but you couldn’t put your fingers on it, you felt like you had seen him before but where you had no idea. He definitely hadn’t come into the cantina before, that you were sure of. 

Rounding the countertop by the coffee machine you glanced back over your shoulder, trying to place the strange man only to be caught in the act, his eyes already on you, watching you intently. Something about the way his eyes stayed fixed on your body as you made his coffee had you squirming inside, you didn’t want his eyes following your every movement, practically undressing you in his mind. 

Putting on a brave face you returned to him, trying to hide the way your hand shook holding the ceramic mug. ‘Here you go, anything else I can do for you?’

A photo album of ideas sprung to Steve’s mind at your question. There were a lot of things you could do for him, with him, but he bit down the words, he could do them all later.

‘Yes but I’m good for now.’ He didn’t miss the confusion that crossed over your face as you turned away, but he didn’t pay any attention to it, the mark had just walked through the door and Steve smiled to himself. The quicker the mission is completed, the quicker he would have you as his. 

He waited, sipping his coffee as the mark, Alejandro Garcia, ordered his own to go, spending far too much time talking to you in the process for Steve’s liking. His anger grew as he watched you laugh at something Alejandro had said. If only you knew what he had done. Who this man obviously flirting with you really was. Clearly you weren’t very good at making your own choices but Steve was reassured that soon that freedom would be taken away and you would be safe, from yourself and from others. He just had to wait. 

When Alejandro finally left, Steve followed soon after, chucking a twenty on the table and glancing back at you as he neared the door. 

His last sight was of you joking around with a new customer, a smile on your face, blissfully unaware of the dark promise Steve was making to himself.


	3. The Apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Dark!Steve, fem masturbation, male masturbation, slight mention of paranoia.

The days passed slowly for Steve, the only highlights being able to see your face everyday. Of course he couldn’t go to the cantina day after day without alerting Alejandro that they had found him, but Steve would watch. He would watch through a pair of binoculars, taking in your every feature as he waited for Alejandro to show up at the cantina, before sadly departing and trailing the mark. 

Even on the days he wasn’t on duty he would still follow you, perching on a different rooftop to Bucky or Nat, watching you constantly. He liked these days best, the ones where he could start out across the road from your apartment, relishing in how you rarely closed your blinds due to the hot summer nights. The days like this have him time to analyse you, to plan his lessons. 

This particular morning, Steve was very glad he had chosen to swing by your apartment a little earlier than usual. There you lay, on your bed, sweat glistening on your skin, one hand down in between your thighs. 

His cock ached at the beautiful visual you were giving him, lying completely naked with one hand teasing your nipples as the other worked you into a frenzy. 

Steve longed to know what you were thinking about as you worked yourself, he prayed that you were thinking about him but he knew deep down that you probably weren’t. He wanted to kill the person that was the object of your desires but he had no idea who it could be. You generally had very little contact with anyone outside of the cantina which Steve was grateful for, it meant less people who would miss you. 

He fumbled with his belt buckle, practically tearing his zipper down as he freed his cock, desperate for some release. He longed to be able to hear the moans that were tumbling out of your mouth but he hadn’t gotten around to installing cameras in your apartment yet, maybe that’s what he should do today. 

While his hand moving up and down on his cock felt good, he couldn’t wait for it to be yours in its place, pleasuring him with your deft fingers. His eyes were still locked on your twisting body but his mind’s eye was somewhere else, back home in New York, imagining you in his bed. The things he’ll do to you once he gets a hold of you. 

He could feel his own orgasm approaching just as he could clearly see yours was by the frantic swirl of your fingers and the arch in you back. ‘Come on baby, cum for me.’ He couldn’t hold back his whispered words of encouragement as he saw you start to come undone, your entire body quivering as the pleasure rushed through you. Steve followed soon after, ribbons of cum coating his hand with a murmured ‘soon’ as he cleaned himself up, eyes still on you. 

+

Your breathing was heavy as you came down from your high, your body occasionally twitching in the aftershock of your orgasm. You had no idea where that image of a blonde man leaning over you as you were on your hands and knees, filling you up, had come from but god, it was a nice little fantasy. 

After your breathing had returned to normal you got up out of bed, slipping your running gear on. This was your favourite way to wake up, the sun shining in through your blinds, a little morning action and then a ten kilometre run. It really was the best way to start your day, even in the sweltering summer heat. 

You made sure to close and lock your windows before leaving your apartment, music already blasting in your ears as you headed out the door. 

While you ran you reflected just how much you had changed since moving to Madrid. It had truly been the best decision for you at the time but you were kind of missing New York, the familiarity of it all. You knew that you probably shouldn’t dive straight back into living in New York, not after what had happened but you felt that you had grown enough to return, maybe just a short visit, a week or two to see how you went. 

You felt confident that you could handle it, that it was time. You couldn’t avoid New York for the rest of your life, you reasoned with yourself. Sure, you did still occasionally have the intense feeling of being constantly watched but this was the precise reason that you had to go back. You had to face your fears, remind yourself that the Chitauri were long gone, that they weren’t lurking behind every corner, watching your every move, despite what your mind wanted you to believe. 

As you rounded back to your apartment, your mind was made up. You would be going back home. 

+

Your shower had been long and relaxing, the hot water smoothing out your tight muscles from the morning run. It had been so nice that you nearly didn’t want to get out, simply stay there all day but you knew you had to work, you only had half an hour until you were meant to be opening the cantina for the day. 

Walking out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around your naked body, you relished in the slight breeze coming in through your open window, your apartment could get incredibly stifling in the summer. While Mariana had installed air conditioning, she hadn’t seen the need to in the loft above, as before you, it had mainly been for storage leading to most of your summer being spent as a sweaty mess. But that was okay, you loved the apartment and it had been so kind of Mariana letting you stay there for a fraction of the cost you would be paying anywhere else. 

It was only as you were pulling on a t-shirt, the cool breeze playing across your exposed stomach that you realised it. You had never opened your window after you got back to your apartment. 

Fear instantly coursed through your veins as you stood, frozen on the spot. Had someone else been in here? Snapping out of your trance, you raced around the apartment, looking for anything out of place, anything that could tell you if someone else had been inside. 

When you found that your passport was still hidden away in your underwear drawer, your envelope of spare cash was still tucked behind the plates in the kitchen cupboard and nothing else was out of place, you reasoned that you must have simply forgotten to close the window, it was clear that no one had been there, nothing was missing after all. 

The realisation calmed you and you blamed yourself for your carelessness of not locking your window and promised that you would be more careful next time. Although despite knowing it was your fault, you couldn’t help but shake the sense of uneasiness fluttering in your stomach as you made your way to your door, this time double checking that everything was locked before heading down the stairs for work. 

+

Steve watched you flutter around your apartment in a state of panic, keenly observing where you went and what you looked for on his phone. While he had found your passport in your underwear drawer during his morning visit, he hadn’t found the envelope of cash you kept, that was an interesting development. Although he had been pretty pressed for time, spending far too long inspecting the inside of your underwear drawer, imagining you in every scrappy piece of lace that apparently counted as panties these days. He had almost run out of time to set up the cameras, the real reason he had broken in to your apartment in the first place. 

As he flicked over to the group’s cameras, the ones that had been set up in the cantina, he cursed himself for leaving your window open. He really should have been more careful, yet at the same time he was glad. It gave him a chance to observe your reaction, to see how you would respond, to prepare. 

Walking into the kitchen of the small apartment he was sharing with Bucky and Nat, he found the pair pouring over a video recording of Alejandro taken the night before. He hadn’t seen it yet, too enraptured with you to even remember the reason he was here in Madrid in the first place. 

‘What’s new Buck?’ He asked, serving himself some coffee before joining the pair on the small dining room table.

‘We have a time and place for the drug transfer Alejandro’s receiving. It’s two days from now at twenty-one hundred, pretty remote location just down by El Retiro park, should be pretty easy to scope out.’ Steve nodded, his eyes on the map of Madrid but his mind focussing on the next seventy-two hours. If all went according to plan, you would be his by then. 

‘Sounds good, let’s get a plan together then. We don’t want any mistakes when dealing with these guys.’ 

+

You swallowed nervously. You knew you were being ridiculous, Mariana was like a mother to you and deep down you knew she would have no qualms with giving you some time off to go back to New York if it was what you really wanted but you were worried. You had never taken such a long period of time off from the cantina before and you knew she relied on you quite heavily as she sometimes struggled keeping things in order as she aged. 

You took a deep breath and raised your hand, knocking on the open door that lead into her small office out the back. ‘Mariana? I was wondering if I could maybe speak to you for a little?’ 

You heard her laugh as she looked up from the papers in her hands. ‘Of course querida. What is on that little mind of yours that has you so anxious?’ 

You stepped further into her office, taking a seat on the opposite side of her desk, chiding yourself for your nerves, you never did well with these types of conversations but you figured there was no point in beating around the bush.

‘Mariana I was just wondering if I could have some time off? I was thinking about maybe going back to New York, just to visit. I think it’s time you know?’ 

A knowing smile came over her face as she smiled. ‘I have been waiting for this for quite some time. You have no reason to be nervous querida, of course you can have time off. I’m glad you’ve decided to go back. Take however long you need.’

Mariana truly was like a mother to you by how well she knew you and what you needed. ‘Thank you so much. You always seem to know what I need before I do. I was thinking maybe two weeks? But I can cut it down if you want.’ 

‘Of course not. Two weeks will be fine. I may be old darling but I’m not completely incompetent plus I’ll have Georgio and Fabiola if I need any help. I’m so glad you’re finally getting the closure you need.’ 

You left her office a little while later, a smile on your face as you climbed the stairs up to your apartment, heading straight to your computer to book a round trip ticket to New York, leaving in a week. It was time. 

+

Blood was seeping out through a wound in his side, the dark liquid barely visible against his stealth suit as he made his way in through the open window, into your bedroom. He knew Bucky and Nat would be suspicious by his absence but honestly he couldn’t find it in himself to care. The past forty-eight hours he had to focus so heavily on the mission that he barely had time to see you, the only occasional reprise of watching you through his phone to satisfy his needs. 

But now it was done. The mission was finally complete. Now he could start his own personal mission of making you his. 

He watched entranced as you slept, so seemingly at ease, your breaths deep and heavy and he smiled to himself, glad you were getting a restful night of sleep. It would probably be the last one you’d be getting for a while. One of the good things about being a super soldier was it meant he had a heightened stamina and required less sleep than the average person, two things he definitely planned on using in the upcoming nights. 

Taking a step back from your bed, he searched around the rest of your apartment, looking for your computer. Yesterday he had received a notification that you had booked a flight back to New York in a weeks time and he had been glad, you were ready to face your fears and he would be right there beside you to help you through it all. 

Of course he would cancel both flights you had booked, there was no way he would be letting you fly economy, not when you would be flying with him and you wouldn’t be needing the return flight you had booked for two weeks after. 

He quickly logged onto your computer, using the password decryption stick Tony had given him back when they were still on speaking terms. Finding the email from the airline was simple enough and cancelling it now meant you at least got some money returned into your bank account, not that you would be needing it when you lived with him. 

Returning back to your bedroom he hovered over your body, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple, longing for the day he would be able to crawl into bed with you and hold you in his arms. 

‘Soon Sweetheart. Real soon.’ He promised himself as with one last glance back to where you lay, sleeping peacefully, he heaved himself back out the window and into the night.


	4. The Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Kidnapping and Drugging

‘So Stevie, where’d you disappear off to last night? I thought you said you were headed back to the hideout but you didn’t get back ‘till what? Two in the morning?’ Bucky looked to Nat as though asking her for confirmation about Steve’s night time practices over breakfast the next morning. 

‘Nah Buck, I reckon it was more like three when he finally came in.’ The red head locked eyes with Bucky over her coffee mug. ‘I mean, if I didn’t know better, I’d wanna say Steve was out at some booty call’s last night coming in at that time. I know I always like to get a fix after a mission.’ 

Steve could feel the blood start to rush to his face as he tried to remain passive in front of the two super spies. He wasn’t ready to tell them about her just yet, they would try to convince him to change his mind but it was too late. Preparations had already started. Instead he lied, despite knowing what a dangerous game it was to lie to highly trained spies, yet he thought he might be able to swing it. ‘God Nat, I can’t believe you would even say that. I was just out at a little bar down the street, getting a drink.’ 

Steve thanked the powers at be as Nat’s phone started ringing, signalling their conversation had come to an end. 

‘Oh wow. Thanks for the invite Rogers.’ She rolled her eyes as her finger swiped across the screen and hit the speaker button, letting Sam’s voice fill the room. ‘Hey Bird Brain, how’s it going in Sokovia?’ 

‘Yeah we’re good here. Just calling to let you guys know that Chekhov is on the move, we think he’s headed up to a facility in the north, it seems to be pretty heavily guarded. Wouldn’t mind some assistance with this one, it looks kind of intense.’

‘Yeah sure, we’ll be there in the morning, we just finished up with Alejandro last night so we’re good to move out.’ 

‘Actually Nat, I think we should stay here for a little longer, or at least one of us. We want to make sure all of Alejandro’s men are gone.’ Steve’s eyes met Bucky’s as the latter spoke, and he knew he hadn’t even remotely fooled his best friend, Bucky clearly realised something was up with him but he also knew that Bucky wouldn’t push him, not if he wasn’t ready to share. 

‘Yeah I think that’s a good idea Buck, we really don’t want any of these guys hanging around. How ‘bout you and Nat catch a flight up to Sokovia tomorrow and I’ll meet you there or back in New York after I make sure it’s all clear down here.’ Steve was quick to set his plan in motion, grateful that the others pretty much always agreed to whatever plan he came up with, this way he would be able to easily extract y/n using the quinjet instead of picking her up from the airport in New York and have to deal with bystanders maybe getting in the way. 

‘Sounds good to me. Wanda and I probably don’t need all three of you anyway, I don’t think Chekhov will be too hard. I’ll probably just see you back in New York Cap. Stay safe guys and see you tomorrow.’ Sam signed off the call and Nat put her phone back in her pocket. 

‘Well Barnes, looks like we got some packing to do.’

+

The week passed far too slowly for Steve’s liking, every minute felt like hours and the hours felt like days. Anticipation flooded through him every time he caught sight of you, he just couldn’t wait to have you back at his house in New York, back at his mercy. 

The only upside of the week was he now had more time to watch you. In the mornings he would accompany you on your morning jogs, following slightly behind, appreciating the way your ass jiggled with every step and then sneak into your apartment while you were showering, learning everything he could about you from your living space. Then, he would head back to his hideout and have a shower of his own, his cock in his fist, dreaming about what would happen in mere days as he came, his seed spraying over the tiled walls of the shower, slowly sliding down before pooled at his feet as it disappeared down the drain, his breaths shallow and frequent as he came back after his orgasm. 

Post shower he would spend his days at the cantina, following you with his eyes as you served the customers. It seemed you were working more than normal and he figured it was probably to make up for your trip away, to cover your expenses as he had overheard a conversation between you and the elderly woman who owned the cantina. It was cute, watching your fret over finances while he knew that soon you wouldn’t have to worry about anything other than minding your manners around him. 

He tried to get your attention whenever he could, coming up with reasons to talk to you but due to the air conditioning and the promise of a refreshing drink the cantina was often packed, filled with tourists and locals alike, trying to refute the summer heat, meaning that you often had little time for him, once again filling Steve with memories of double dates with Bucky back in the forties. Of trying to get their attention which was always focussed on Bucky instead of scrawny little Steve. But soon enough, he promised himself, you would be all his. Real Soon.

+

The days passed slowly for you too, despite you being so busy with work and preparing everything for your trip but finally, at last, it was your last day working at the cantina - for the meantime at least. 

‘I’m sorry Senor, but we’re closing soon, can I get you anything before we stop taking orders?’ You asked the strange American who had been coming to the cantina everyday recently. You frequently wondered why he was in Madrid if all he was going to do was sit in the cantina but he tipped well and was nice enough to look at if you had a moment in between customers. 

‘Trust me Sweetheart, there’s a lot I want from you but for now I’ll just take another Americano thanks.’ A chill crept down your spine at his sinister smile, although he may be attractive there was something wrong about this man and you barely managed to smile back as you walked away, the hairs on your neck standing up. 

You avoided the American as best you could for the next half hour before the cantina closed, but being the only one still working made it hard as you still had to serve him. Thankfully, the clock hit ten and you managed to kick him out quite easily except for his promise to ‘come back soon’. You made sure to lock the door behind him, looking out into the night as he walked down the street. There was definitely something wrong about that man, but at least you wouldn’t have to worry about it for the next two weeks. 

You made your way to the back of the shop, most of the cleaning already done as you waited for the man to be finished with his coffee. Knocking on the door to Mariana’s office, you entered slowly, finding her simply reading some book. 

‘Mariana? I just wanted to come say goodbye before my flight tomorrow, it’s pretty early and I don’t think I’ll see you before I leave.’

She smiled and walked around her desk, wrapping her arms around you. ‘Querida, I’m so glad that you’re going through with this. I think it will be very good for you, going back to New York. I only ask that you send me a postcard, something touristy.’

You laughed into her shoulder, not wanting to break away from the biggest maternal figure you knew. ‘Anything for you Mariana.’ 

‘Be careful querida.’

‘Always am Mariana, don’t you worry about me.’ With one last smile you left her office, heading upstairs to your apartment. 

As you unlocked the door and made your way through the small loft, your mind was so busy running through a last minute checklist for everything you still had to do that you didn’t notice that the window you had locked that morning was now open, the curtains fluttering in the breeze. You also didn’t notice the figure waiting for you in your bedroom, hiding in the shadows until his arms were wrapped around you in a vice like grip, one hand covering your mouth as the other held something against your neck. There was a soft prick, and slowly you felt your eyes getting heavier, closing on their own and the whole room faded to blackness. 

+

You slept so peacefully on the quinjet as he flew you over the Atlantic that Steve almost never wanted you to wake up. He knew that it would be a while before you were this calm in his presence again but he could wait. He was a patient man after all. He landed the quinjet just outside of the city, somewhere hidden where it wouldn’t be found and gave you another shot of sedative before transferring you to Natasha’s car. If he had known that he would see you again in Madrid he wouldn’t have ridden his bike out to the landing pad. 

It was a real pain being on the run from every government, it meant doing their job was becoming increasingly hard but the team - or what remained of it - never complained, they each stood by their choice to help Steve against Tony. Ironically enough the best place for them to hide at the moment was actually in New York, one of the biggest cities in the world and the last place Ross would think to look for them, plus if he ever did, Tony always covered for them, claiming a fake sighting in another country, because while he was still hurt but Steve and the other and wasn’t quite ready to forgive them, they were still his family and he would never turn them over like that. 

When he finally made his way back through the city, back to his brownstone in Brooklyn, Steve was kind of shocked that he had actually managed it, he had actually gotten you, right where he wanted you. A smile came over his face as he carried you down to the basement, the modifications he had requested had been made perfectly while he was away. While the room had always been a guest bedroom, he had to make sure that you wouldn’t be able to escape and that he could always watch you, especially in the first few weeks. The new thick, metal door would be enough to keep even him trapped down here and if he didn’t know exactly where to look, the security cameras were almost undetectable. He lay you on the bed, tucking you in, under the soft light grey covers, and pressed a kiss to your forehead before walking away and locking the door behind him. As much as he wanted to stay and watch you all night, there was still a lot he had to do before you woke up.


	5. The Basement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: None really, just being held captive.

You awoke slowly, the first sign of consciousness being the ability to feel, slowly descending down your body like honey dripping from a spoon. First it was being made aware of the pounding headache that hid behind your heavy eyelids, then the stiffness in your bad, the muscles taught as if they had been in the same place for quite some time. Last had been the feeling of blood rushing down to your toes as you tried to wiggle them, snuggly tucked under the covers. 

As you slowly gained consciousness, your eyelids fluttering open, panic started to surge through your body, memories of the previous night coming back. A hand clamped around your mouth, a prick in your neck, and then nothing. You had no indication of just how long you had been out so what felt like mere minutes ago could’ve been hours, days even, and with the way your back ached you thought it was probably the latter. 

You also had no indication of how you had gotten wherever you were now. Throwing the soft covers off of your body, you slipped your feet out onto the cold hardwood floor. With a terror unparalleled, you realised you were no longer wearing the shorts a t-shirt you last remembered donning for work but a simple pale blue slip nightgown that scarcely covered you to your mid thigh. Who had changed you?

There was barely any light in the room, save for the moonlight that filtered in through the windows lining the opposite wall, barely a foot wide, grazing against the ceiling. They let you know it was night time again, so it was looking like you had been out for about a day. Confusion hit as you looked around the room, you didn’t think sex trafficers normally kept their victims in such nice rooms. If you weren’t scared out of your mind you probably would say the room was more than nice, the plush king sized bed you were still sitting on was evidence enough. 

Fumbling with the switch by your bed, you flicked on the lamp to illuminate the room further. Along the wall opposite the bed, under the windows, there was a large bookshelf along with what looked like a few armchairs and such. In the far corner was a dining area, but it wasn’t the mahogany table that caught your eye. It was the steel door that was next to it, leading to what you were sure must be a way out. Creeping out of the bed, you tentatively made your way towards it, your eyes never leaving the handle. You knew it probably wouldn’t be this easy, but you had to hope, hope that there was a way out. 

Your intense focus on the door caused you to fail to notice the step that spanned the length of the room, elevating the bed area. As your foot was met with air, you tumbled down, trying to catch yourself with your hands on the hardwood floor. Your muscles were still partly asleep despite your mind running a hundred miles an hour and so you were still on the floor, trying to push yourself up off the ground when you heard a click sound through the room. 

The steel door opened and a man stepped in, the bright light behind him casting his face in shadow. From where you were on the ground, you knew he must be an impressive figure, easily able to dominate over you, just from the way his frame filled the doorway. ‘Oh Sweetheart, here, let me help you up.’ He placed a tray on the dining room before crossing towards you, but as he neared, you hastily crawled back, trying to get away from this man. 

‘Stop that now.’ A strong hand wrapped around one of your ankles and you tried to kick at him with the other as he pulled your body towards him, a desperate scream for help escaping from your lungs. 

Instantly his body was on yours, one hand covering your mouth and the other pinning both your wrists above your head. With his face so close to yours, a sinking feeling arose in your gut as you recognised him, not only as the American stranger from the cantina, but as Captain America himself. You felt stupid for not recognising him before yet he had always been wearing caps or sunglasses, plus with his fully grown beard and longer hair, he hardly looked like America’s Golden Boy anymore, especially when he was pinning you down on the floor. The position was oddly reminiscent of the only other time you had knowingly been in his presence, that day in New York, pinned underneath the car as he fought against the Chitauri. 

‘Sweetheart, I’m trying very hard to be calm right now but if you continue acting like this, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble. There’s no point screaming down here, the walls are all soundproofed, no one will hear you. All you’re accomplishing right now is angering me.’ Despite his warning, you continued to scream into his hand, thrashing your body around on the floor, trying to pry him off of you. Yet, no matter how hard you squirmed, he remained above you, barley even moving an inch. Your scream started dying off as your oxygen supply was cut by his hand and your movements slowed as you realised it was useless. He was far stronger than you. 

A smile came over his face as he clearly realised your fight had started dying as he shifted the hand that had been clamping your mouth shut to the base of your throat. At first it seemed like a much more relaxed position, afterall you could actually breathe properly now but the gentle squeeze of this fingers against your windpipe served as a reminder that he could still take away your air if he so wished. 

‘I’m going to ask you this one time Sweetheart, and you better not lie to me. If I get off of you do you promise to be a good girl?’ His voice was even as he leaned his face above yours, his face a near perfect mask of calm, yet looking into his dark blue eyes above you, you realised he was anything but. His orbs were a swirling sea of madness and you knew better than to anger this supersoldier further. 

You nodded your head as best you could in his steel-like grip and were rewarded with a tightening of his grip on your throat and he smiled. ‘You better not break your promise Sweetheart.’ was his final warning before he shifted his weight off of you and stood up before extending a hand down to you. Eyeing it warily, you slowly raised your hand to meet his and he wasted no time in pulling you up to his frame as though you weighed nothing. 

His arms wrapped around you, pulling your body to his chest as he stood, eyes staring into yours as though he were waiting for something. When you did nothing but stare at your feet for nearly a minute, he let out a frustrated groan, his eyebrows pulling together in a frown. 

You longed to be out of his arms, to be free from his presence but you remembered your promise and stood still in his arms. One of his hands shifted from your waist up to your chin, tilting your head up to his, forcing you to look at him as he spoke. ‘You know, generally when someone helps you, the polite thing is to say thank you. But it’s okay. We’ll work on your manners.’ You remained silent as he grabbed your hand in his, leading you towards the small dining table and held out a chair for you. 

As you sat, you saw the test he had been carrying earlier placed in front of you. On it were two pieces of toast with butter and a glass of milk. You didn’t fail to notice that he hadn’t given you any cutlery. ‘I know it’s not much but I figured trying anything heavier wouldn’t be a good idea with how long you’ve been asleep for.’ 

You paused at his words, your eyes flickering up to him as you thought. Just how long had you been asleep for? 

‘Where am I?’ Your voice was timid, broken by your screaming fit before. 

‘You’re new home of course. I couldn’t have you living in that tiny apartment anymore what with it not even having air conditioning. You should really close your blinds you know, someone could always be watching.’ 

A chill flowed down your spine as you registered his words. He had clearly been watching you, but for how long? Had it started all the way back in New York? Or when you first say him in the cantina a few weeks ago? All of these thoughts raced around in your head but none of them were spoken out loud, mainly because you were fairly certain whatever the answer was, you wouldn’t like it. 

‘Well? Aren’t you going to eat your food? It would be rude not to, especially since I made it for you.’ His voice was a warning, a reminder of your promise and despite having completely lost your appetite, you knew it would keep you happy. Plus if you really had been asleep for nearly twenty-four hours, your body definitely needed some food. 

He started speaking against as you but down on a piece, following his orders, like a good girl. ‘See that wasn’t so hard?’ He reached across the table to brush his fingers against your arm as his eyes locked with yours. ‘You could be quite happy here, I’ll give you everything you need. All you have to do is show some manners and we can be happy together.’ His voice was so full of conviction that it nearly made you choke. 

Happy together? Just what was this guy playing at? He had literally just kidnapped you and he wanted you to be happy together? He was truly mental if he thought you were going to be his little pet. 

You struggled to continue eating despite the hunger that had awoken in your stomach, forcing down the last piece of toast before draining your glass of milk. Steve smiled at you and picked up the tray again as he stood, his eyes expectant. You fiddled with your thumbs as you forced the words out. 

‘Thank you.’ 

A smile overtook his face as his hand that wasn’t gripping the tray stroked your cheek. ‘You’re welcome Sweetheart. There’s everything you’ll need down here in the closet or the bathroom, you might like to take a shower and get ready for bed.’ With one last glance at you, he headed back out of the steel door he came in through, the distinct click of a lock signifying you were alone again. 

+

He had been right of course. After spending a solid half an hour pulling and pushing the steel door with everything you had and it hadn’t moved an inch, you had sauntered into the bathroom, the idea of a shower sounding far nicer than you cared to admit. You hadn’t noticed the two doors on the wall adjacent to the bed before opening the first you saw a closet, just like he had mentioned, filled with dresses that all seemed to be in your size. How long had he been planning this? When had he bought these clothes? You didn’t think you wanted the answer to these questions and closing the closet door, you padded over to the only other door in the room, that you assumed was the bathroom. 

The bathroom was - as he had said it would be - fully stocked with anything you could need. Everything from the shampoo that you had used while in Madrid to makeup, perfect for your colouring. The fact that he had known what type of shampoo you had used in Madrid should have been far more surprising than you found it, but given his earlier comment about watching you through your windows, you figured he had also watched you in your apartment. 

The hot water had done little to help your taught muscles, tense from your meal with Steve, but it had been nice, giving you an odd sense of power as you purposely spent far too long in the warm stream, trying to rack up his water bill. Sure it was petty and wouldn’t help you in anyway, but it helped provide you with a sense of vindication. 

Not once while drying yourself off did you mind pause, constantly running in circles, asking the same questions over and over again. 

Why were you here? What did he want with you? How could you escape?

Wanting to avoid the closet that brought even more unwanted questions with it - like how did he know your clothing size? - you opted instead for the slip nightgown again, only venturing into the dreaded room to find a clean pair of panties. 

Despite having been asleep for god knows how long, you still felt tired although you doubted any sleep would come to you as you lay in bed, the only light once again pouring in from the outside. Staring at the steel door through the gloom, you promised yourself, you would find a way to escape, maybe not today or tomorrow, but once you had your strength back, you knew you would need it to face the famous Captain America.


	6. The First Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Male masturbation, spanking, manipulation

VI. The First Lesson

He lay in bed that night for hours, his eyes refusing to shut, refusing to look away from the phone screen in front of him. He had finally done it. Steve had gotten his girl. 

He knew that it would rough for the first few weeks but he was determined. He would break her, make sure she knew who was in charge and so he wasn’t so much surprised but merely disappointed when he opened his phone, right after locking the door behind him, to see her throwing her body against it, trying to get out. 

His palm had twitched as he stood there, longing to go back inside but he refrained, knowing that it wouldn’t do him any good to face her when he was seething, unable to control himself. He forced his legs to move, down the hallway and up the stairs, back to his kitchen where he had been in the middle of doing his dishes when he had gotten the alert that she was awake. He placed the tray down and propped his phone up in front of the sink so he could still watch her as his hands disappeared underneath the soapy water. 

His eyes barely strayed from the device as he washed her dishes, scrubbing the plates for far too long in his distracted state. He longed to be back down stairs, back with her, but he knew she wasn’t ready for him yet. He nearly tripped going up the stairs that lead to his bedroom. She had disappeared into the bathroom, the screen instantly flicking over to the camera in there, tracking her movements. 

He paused at she shed the pale blue nightgown he had dressed her in, revealing her body to him again. It had taken all of his self restraint not to touch her while she was unconscious but now seeing her body in front of him, the way the body wash lathered on her supple skin, the way her chest pushed forward when she raised her hands to wash the shampoo out of hair. 

His cock ached as he sat on his bed, begging to be touched. He is about one hand down his body, doing his belt and jeans to free his crying length. He couldn't remember how many times in the past five years hit come by himself – or with others – wishing it was her. As his hand moved in a rapid pace, his eyes were still fixated on her naked body. Soon it would be her hand in place of his. He just had to get her used to her new life first and he had to do it fast. He didn't know how long he will be able to hold off. The force of his orgasm knocked the breath out of him as he came, shooting hot spurts into his fist, his eyes closing in bliss. 

If just the thought of her could do this to him, he wondered just how amazing it would be when he finally had her. He fell asleep finally, hours later, a smile on his face and her image superimposed onto the back of his eyelids. She needed to get used to her new life soon.

+

Even though you have laid in bed for hours, staring up at the ceiling, sleep refused to come. Occasionally you found yourself drifting off but you are never able to stay asleep for longer than a few minutes, despite the seat calling of your eyelids. 

You weren’t surprised when you saw the sky outside start to lighten, dawn breaking, signifying a new day. You promised yourself today you would try. Try to get away from this madman. After what felt like another hour had passed, you had no way of knowing for certain, you heard the click of the lock. He was back.

Like last night, he came in carrying a tray, locking the door behind him before he placed it on the dining table and take a seat. You noticed how nicely he was dressed, wearing a shirt with a tie and you could only hope he was going out today, leaving you here so you could try to escape. He looked over at you then. His eyes expectant.

‘Well? Aren't you going to come over and eat your breakfast?’

You didn't listen to him. Instead he turned to face the opposite wall, your back to him, pulling the covers up even further, tucking them just underneath your chin. You heard his sigh, the clink of his cutlery against his plate. ‘Last night, you promised you were going to be a good girl. Good girls do what they're told when they're told. Are you going to break your promise so soon?’

You knew you were probably making a mistake that you would end up regretting but the idea of having to sit opposite this man who had clearly lost his mind was appalling to you. Plus, you weren’t even sure if you'll be able to eat anything. Your stomach had been in knots all night long.

After a few moments of tense silence as he waited for you to change your mind, you heard him sigh again. The harsh scrape of his chair against the floorboards and his thundering footsteps as he made his way towards you, pausing at the opposite side of the bed.

‘I am going to give you five seconds to get your ungrateful bratty ass out of bed. If you're not kneeling in front of me, begging for my forgiveness by the time I reach zero, you are going to be incredibly sorry. Five. Four.’

You could tell he was being serious just by his tone, but you refused to move a muscle. ‘Three.’ Fear started crawling through your veins as you remember just how easily he overpowered you last night. ‘Two.’ Maybe you were being a stubborn idiot. What was he going to do you? ‘One.’ You squeezed your eyes shut, your fists clenching the sheets as tightly as they could in trepidation of what was to come. 

He never said zero, he simply bent down and ripped the sheets from your hands with such force that they came free from the bed, tossing them on the floor nearby. ‘I thought you said you are going to be a good girl?’ You could hear the disappointment in his voice, your eyes squeezed so tightly shut that you started to see patterns behind your eyelids as he grabbed you, forcing you onto your stomach.

‘You know, I'm really not that surprised. An ungrateful brat like you. Of course you're going to break your promises.’ You felt him straddle the back of your legs, bunching your nightgown up above your ass, pushing your hands out of the way as you tried to stop him from tugging down your panties. ‘But it's okay. I’ll teach you some manners.’ You screamed out, trying to twist him off of you but he simply gathered your hands together, at the small of your back and began tying them with what you could only assume was his tie. 

‘How many do you think I should give you for a first offence huh? How many will make you how many will make sure you've learnt your lesson?’ You ignored him again, continuing to scream at him to get off of you. He tutted at you, twisting your head with hand and forcing it down into the pillow with one hand while the other kneaded your ass. ‘If you know what is good for you, you’ll shut the hell up right now.’ The combination of the promised threat in his voice and the lack of oxygen made you stop screaming, and thrashing against the bed, lying still in his grip.

‘Much better sweetheart. You’re such a fast learner.’ His grip on the back of your neck relaxed somewhat, letting you twist your head so only half of it was now pressed against the pillowcase. ‘Let's get this over with, my breakfast is getting cold.’ With that the hand on your arse disappeared before you heard the swish of air and felt the hard thwack of his palm against your tender skin making you cry out. ‘Count them for me Sweetheart.’

‘One.’ You forced your voice to work, not wanting to give him another excuse to punish you.

‘Good girl.’ You tried to base yourself for the next hit but still, the harsh strike made you cry out again.

‘Two. Three. Four. Five.’ Tears started falling from your eyes. Each hit he gave you was harder than the last and you didn't know how much longer you could take.

‘Six. Seven. Eight.’ You rasped out, fighting to get the words out in between your sobs. 

‘You have to speak a bit louder Sweetheart. I couldn’t make out what number that was.’ He taunted you, kneading your ass painfully hard as you tried to control your tears enough to get the word out clearly.

‘Eight.’

‘Much better baby girl, we’re nearly there.’His encouragement meant nothing to you but you continued to practically scream the numbers as the slaps came.

‘Nine. Ten.’ You couldn’t control your sobs anymore, letting them wrack through your body as your tears continued falling. You couldn't take it anymore but thankfully, it seemed like he was done. He released your hands from his tie and pulled your panties back up your body, giving your ass a gentle slap as he did so, before getting off of you and kneeling beside your head.   
‘Don’t you have anything you’d like to say Sweetheart?’ He raised his eyebrows, expectant. 

He couldn’t be serious. But one glance at him through your watering eyes had you realising he was being deadly serious. He wanted you to say it.

‘Thank you.’ It barely came out above a whisper but he accepted it, a smile taking over his face.

‘See, just like I said. You are a fast learner. You’re welcome sweetheart. Now come and join me at the table.’ He turned and walked away from the bed, not even sparing you a glance. He didn't have to worry about you not following his orders anymore. Not after that.

You gingerly pulled yourself to your feet, your tears had stopped for now at least but the twinge in your ass with every step you took made them want to come back, especially when you finally reached the table and had to sit down, your ass screaming in protest.

As you reached for the knife and fork on the plate in front of you, you heard him tut. ‘Sweetheart, only good girls get to eat. If you had done what I said earlier, you would have got your food. But since you made me punish you, you’re just going to have to wait until lunch for food. View it as a lesson for next time.’ You stared at him in disbelief, watching as he casually sipped from his glass of orange juice, the steel look in his eyes making sure that you wouldn’t try to eat without his permission. 

The scent of the eggs and bacon in front of you was nearly too much for you to handle. Although you had thought you weren’t hungry, having to sit and watch him eat had your stomach rumbling loudly. The toast last night had clearly not been filling enough. 

When he had finally finished his plate, he cleared his throat. ‘Now Sweetheart, I had meant for this morning to go a lot differently but you have to understand, your actions have consequences. When I ask you to do something, you will do it, without complaint. You’re mine now. Like I said last night, I’m providing you with a new life, away from any issues or problems and all I’m asking for in return is some respect and for you to show some manners. Do you understand?’ His voice was far too calm and even for what he was asking from you but you nodded, trying to placate him. 

‘When I ask you a question I would like an answer Sweetheart so let’s try that again. Do you understand?’ 

Your throat was squeezing in on itself as you replied. ‘Yes, I understand.’ 

‘Good Girl. Now there are some things I have to do upstairs this morning but I’ll be back down for lunch and I expect you to keep this morning in mind.’ He stood from the table, his tie in his hand as he walked around it, standing next to you. ‘Since you made me undo my tie, it’s only fair you tie it again for me.’ He handed you the silky blue material and stood expectantly. 

Your body went onto autopilot, the sting in your ass as you stood a reminder of what would happen if you ignored him again. You looped it around his neck with shaking fingers, standing in front of him made you realise just how big he was in comparison to you. Your breath hitched as you tried your best to do a basic school boy knot, not trusting yourself for anything more complex, which was probably a good idea as you could barely stop your hands from shaking enough to tighten it. 

As soon as the knot was in place, you stepped back, trying to get as far away as you could. He glanced down at the clumsily done knot, unimpressed. ‘Not your best work Sweetheart, but it’s okay. You’ll get better with practice.’ He turned back to the table and stacked the plates onto the tray, heading for the door. 

‘I’ll see you at lunch time Sweetheart.’ He smiled at you as the door clicked shut behind him, locking you in again. 

+

The rest of your morning passed slowly, your stomach rumbling every now and then, that and the constant tinge in your ass whenever you walked or sat down served as a constant reminder of what had happened that morning. Surely that had been his intent. A way of conditioning you for your ‘new life’ as he called it. 

In your boredom, you had ventured into the wardrobe, trying to find something that covered you better than the flimsy nightgown he had put you in when he changed you. It didn’t escape your notice that your only choices were another nightgown or frilly dresses that looked like an odd combination between a dress from the forties and modern day, but you finally settled for a simple white number with cap sleeves and a skirt that was among the longer of the selection, stopping just above your knees. 

After that, you had roved through the large selection of books shelved on the mahogany bookcase, looking for something to lose yourself in. You paused as you caught sight of the simple black spine, well worn, with so many cracks down it that you could barely make out the title of the novel, just like your copy had been. It had to be a coincidence, ‘Frankenstein’ was a fairly common novel after all. Yet as you opened it to the first page, you saw the familiar yellow highlight, the scrawl of black pen in the margin. 

It shouldn’t have surprised you that he raided your bookcase back in Madrid but it did. It made you wonder what else he had taken from your apartment and hidden around your new living quarters in an attempt to make you more comfortable. 

After a thorough search, you realised that it was only your books that he had taken, but they were enough, especially since he had clearly bought new ones in accordance to your taste, providing a new form of entertainment. 

You tried to stop the smile on your face as you searched through the bookcase with this newfound knowledge. He had clearly been paying attention to what you liked. 

Eventually you sat down in one of the armchairs, your copy of ‘Frankenstein’ in your hands, as you passed the time until lunch. Too chicken and too hungry to try anything with him upstairs. 

+

You were so distracted by the tale of ‘Frankenstein’ that the harsh click of the lock, interrupting your silence, had made you jump in fright. You turned to the door, just as it opened, revealing him carrying a tray like always, the click of the lock sounding behind him. He placed the tray down on the table without looking over at you, setting the two plates at either chair. He didn’t even need to say anything for you to close your book and head over to him. The smell of whatever he had made was far too enticing for you to resist in your current state of hunger. 

He held out your chair for you and pushed it in as you sat down, your eyes fixed on the mushroom and chicken grilled cheese in front of you, saliva pooling in your mouth. 

‘Thank you.’ Your voice was barely a whisper but you knew he heard it as he rounded the table and took his seat opposite you, a smile on his face. 

‘You’re welcome Sweetheart. Why don’t you get started before your food gets cold?’ 

+


	7. The Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: None really.

VII. The Waiting Game  
Steve had waited until you had finished eating lunch, practically scoffing the entire sandwich in one bite before he spoke again. ‘I love you in that dress Sweetheart, it compliments you so well.’ You tried to shrink back, further in the chair as he stood up from the table, walking towards you but just as he reached you, he walked right past, heading towards the bed. 

Dread filled your veins. What was he doing? What did he want now? 

He sat on the soft white sheets, gazing distastefully at the discarded bed spread that you hadn’t cleaned up after the incident at breakfast. ‘Come here Sweetheart.’ He patted the bed beside him, waiting for you to make your way towards him but you couldn’t. Your body felt like lead, dragging you down, holding you down, stuck to the chair. 

‘Sweetheart, don’t make me repeat myself. Come here.’ Even at this distance you could see the tension fill his face, the way his crystal blue eyes darkened and you forced yourself to stand up on shaky legs, your whole body trembling as you crossed the room. 

You prayed that what you thought was going to happen wouldn’t, but you knew that even if it didn’t happen today, it would probably happen sometime soon. That was why you needed to escape as soon as possible. 

He waited patiently for you to join him, watching the way you winced as you sat down, your ass still tender from the morning. A brief shadow of a smile crossed over his face as he reached out to cup your cheek in his hand. It took everything you had not to flinch away from him, knowing that would only serve to make him even more angry at you. If everything he had been saying was true, he cared for you, in his own sick, fucked up way and maybe if you tried to play along, it wouldn’t be so bad for you. 

‘Are you still sore from this morning?’ His face was far too close to yours for your liking as he asked but you eagerly nodded your head, hoping that maybe he wouldn’t try anything. He grimaced, shaking his head slightly at you as he continued to stroke your cheek with his calloused thumb. ‘I’m so sorry about that Sweetheart, but you understand why it had to happen right? Why I had to punish you for being a bad girl? You live here now and although one day, we will be a complete partnership, you’re not ready for that yet and until you are, I need you to follow my orders. I’m just trying to teach you some manners and the quicker you can learn them, the quicker we can reach that step in our relationship. Now lie down on the bed, on your stomach. I brought you a present.’ 

Doubt swirled in your eyes, you wanted to jump up and scream and run, but you couldn’t, no matter what you did, he would be able to overpower you. Your only choice until you could escape was to play along and so you did as he said, trying to make sure the skirt of your dress kept you as covered as possible. 

You turned your head away from him, facing the wall as you felt him stand up from the bed, heard the screw of a tub being undone and him lifting your dress up over your body, your panties down. You tried to resign yourself to your fate, force a dissociation of your mind from your body. Yet instead of feeling his rough hands against your aching behind, your could only feel a cooling gel of some kind. 

You lay silently, stiff as a log as he kneaded it into your skin, his fingers as gentle as feathers, welcoming you to an odd sense of ease. You didn’t want to feel that way, you knew you shouldn’t, but you couldn’t deny how good the cool gel felt on the tender skin, how gently he handled your body. You were certain that this was all part of his plan, part of the way he would condition you and you hated that so far it was working, if only on your body and not your mind. 

He swiftly pulled your panties back up your legs, your dress back over you ass, giving it a loving squeeze. ‘See what happens when you’re a good girl Sweetheart? How much nicer was this than that awful scene you caused at breakfast?’ 

You didn’t respond, or even turn your head towards him, merely nodding at his words. 

‘I know the first few weeks or so are going to be rough, but we’ll get through them together. I know we will.’ His hand trailed up along your backside to brush through your hair as he leant down, placing a soft kiss to your temple before standing up and heading back to the dining room table and gathering the trays. 

You watched as he left, your eyes trained on the large bulge in his trousers as the door closed behind him, a shiver running down your spine at the sight. 

+

Dinner had passed in a similar fashion, so had the following days. Sometimes, he stayed downstairs with you, watching you with eyes like a hawk’s, others he would disappear beyond the steel door for hours at a time, promising that he didn’t want to leave your side but that he just had a few more things upstairs to finish he could come back down. 

On those days you welcomed his departure. Loving the sound of the lock clicking into place behind him, because although you hated being stuck down here, being down here with him was worse. You hated the way he acted as if this were a perfectly normal way to behave, kidnapping a woman, holding her prisoner, talking about your relationship. It revolted you how fucked up the whole situation was; how fucked up he was. 

You spent a vast part of your days, watching the sun through the small windows, letting it torment you as it would creep closer to the horizon, coating the sky in a haze of pinks, oranges and violets, wishing you could be outside, soaking up its heat, feeling the wind brushing against your skin. It had only been a few days since you had been kidnapped yet you were already going stir crazy. Normally you could last, easily for whole weekends, spending the entire time inside but it was the mere act of being forced to stay inside that had really gotten under you skin. 

It was now the fourth day of life in the basement now and unlike every other night when he disappeared upstairs, taking the used trays with him, he returned shortly after. You watched as he read over some files, seemingly at ease on the couch as you sat in what had become your favourite armchair by the bookcase, trying to lose yourself to your new novel in vain. You were too amped up by this change in behaviour, why hadn’t he stayed upstairs after dinner? 

‘Why don’t you come over here Sweetheart? You look cramped on that small armchair.’ He glanced up at you over his papers and just like every other time he had “suggested” you do something over the past few days, you obeyed, walking over to him on stiff legs, despite the sinking feeling in your chest. You tried to keep reminding yourself that you just had to play along until you could escape. 

He patted the seat next to him and just like the dutiful little girl he was trying to turn you into, you sat down on the plush cushion, not objecting when he scooped your legs up, over his, curling you towards him. He tossed his papers down next to him and easily pried the book from your limp fingers, forcing your attention to him.

The feeling of having his hand on your bare thigh had you set on edge, your teeth clenching as his thumb leisurely traced invisible circles into your skin as if it were the most natural thing in the world. ‘How have you been feeling Sweetheart? About our situation?’ His eyes peered into yours, demanding an answer. 

You forced yourself to choke back all the nasty insults you wanted to scream at him; forced yourself to remember that if you played along now, you would weaken his defence, giving you a chance to escape. Your best faux smile made its way onto your face, teeth glinting a sparkling white in the light, your throat trying to constrict in on itself as you tried to think of a reply that would satisfy the deranged man sitting in front of you. 

‘I think that we could have gotten to this stage a lot easier than we have, but I’m feeling positive about our future.’ It didn’t matter that the future you spoke of no way coincided with what he had planned but that was okay, he didn’t have to know. 

His eyes narrowed at your response ever so slightly, but instead of the anger you were expecting, he merely smiled in chagrin, nodding to himself, leaving you with no idea whether or not he believed your lies. ‘Hmm, yes I suppose you’re right, but we’re here now and that’s all that matters.’ And just like that he completely dismissed your comment, justifying his methods to himself. He gave your thigh a gentle squeeze. ‘Why don’t you go and get ready for bed Sweetheart? It’s getting quite late.’ 

You had no idea whether what he was saying was true or not, other than the moonlight pouring in through the windows, you had no way of telling the time so you simply nodded, eager to be out of his arms as soon as possible. You practically ran to the wardrobe, grabbing the first nightgown you could find before heading over the bathroom to change and complete your nightly routine, expecting him to have disappeared upstairs by the time you were done. 

Your eyes flickered over to the couch as soon as the bathroom door was opened and you let out a quiet sigh of relief, he was gone, finally. However your relief was short lived as your gaze settled on the bed, seeing his shirtless figure, sitting up against the headboard, his eyes trailing over your body. 

It was only then that you realised you had chosen the worst nightgown possible in your haste. It was somewhat bridal, the white satin hugged your body, barely covering you at all with its spaghetti straps and deep v neck plunge that was lined with lace that matched the trail along the bottom of the short nightie, only just covering your behind. 

‘Oh darling, you look just exceptional, do a spin for me.’ 

Your body refused to move, your mouth opening and blurting out ‘what are you doing here?’ before you could think better of it. You didn’t miss the flash of anger that crossed over his face, the way his eyes darkened even further. 

‘I’m sleeping here Sweetheart, we’re taking the next step in our relationship. Now be a good girl and come join me on the bed.’ Just what “taking the next step” meant, you didn’t want to find out yet once again, despite your inner turmoil, you obeyed him, settling underneath the covers of the large bed, as far away from him as you could, lying on your side so you back was towards him. 

You heard him huff, the click of the lamp as it shut off, leaving you in darkness, the soft rustle of material as he lay down, his arms reaching out, wrapping around your body and with inexplicable ease, pulling it across the bed towards his. Your skin crawled as he pressed against your back, the bulge of his boxers inescapable as he trapped you in his arms. 

‘Goodnight Sweetheart.’ His lips pressed against your bare shoulder, his fingers gently squeezing the flesh of your stomach when you didn’t respond, prompting you. 

‘Goodnight.’ You whispered into the darkness, refusing to refer to him as any form of endearment or even by name. As far as you were concerned he was scum, unworthy even of that. 

As if he had read your mind, his murmuring broke the silence of the room. ‘Hmm, we’ll talk about that tomorrow. But sweet dreams darling.’ 

+

You watched as the sun rose, the sky turning golden as dawn approached. Although your normally slept poorly down in the basement, last night you hadn’t slept at all, your eyes refusing to close. Every time you had come close, you had felt his arms tightening around you or his breathing down your neck, making it impossible to relax enough for sleep to claim you. 

You felt his arms tighten even further around you, his face nuzzling into your shoulder, the bulge which hadn’t disappeared over the course of the night press against you as he craved the friction. His lips brushed against your skin, leaving little open mouthed kisses across it as his hips increased their pace rubbing against you. 

‘You feel so good Sweetheart, I can’t wait to have you. You have no idea what you do to me; how long I’ve wanted you. But I want it to be right. You’re clearly not ready yet.’ 

Although you were very taken aback from his words, and questioned just how much he meant them, you welcomed the coldness as he kicked the duvet off, getting out of bed and taking a quick stretch. ‘Why don’t you get ready for breakfast, we have a lot to talk about today.’ You hadn’t meant to see it, but as your eyes flickered over to him instinctively as he spoke, there was no avoiding the small dark stain on his blue briefs, indicating just how excited he was as he left the room, the click of the lock singing out behind him. 

You wasted no time in showering, trying to erase the feeling of his hands on your skin, scrubbing your skin for as long as you dared, not wanting to still be in the bathroom when he came back. Heading into the wardrobe, you discarded the skimpy nightie from last night into the furthest corner of the drawer, making a note to yourself never to wear it again as you tried to find something suitable to change into. You finally settled on a pretty pale blue dress, it wasn’t your usual style, but nothing in the wardrobe was, it had white detailing along the collar and sleeves, that when mixed with the large buttons down the front gave the dress a very school-girl like appearance, the cinched waist giving you that classic 1940’s silhouette. 

As you came out of the wardrobe, Steve was just closing the door behind him, carrying the tray as usual, freshly showered and dressed. You met him at the table, taking the seat he held out for you. ‘Thank you.’ 

‘You’re welcome Sweetheart.’ He crossed the table and took his seat opposite you, picking up his knife and fork, inviting you to do the same. As you ate, you noticed the tupperware container still on the silver tray, eyeing it curiously. Steve seemed not to notice your curiosity, focussing on eating his own meal. Was he finally leaving you today? It looked like the container held some type of sandwich, possibly your lunch. Hope surged through you, maybe today would be the day. 

Steve waited until you had finished your scrambled eggs, before he started speaking, wanting your full attention. ‘Now Sweetheart, I’ve noticed over the past few days that you aren’t referring to me as I would like you to. You can call me a range of endearments, “darling”, “my love” or anything else that is deemed acceptable. How else am I supposed to know how seriously you’re taking our relationship?’ You refrained from rolling your eyes, internally thinking of possible ways to refer to him, none of which he would deem acceptable. 

You remembered the tupperware container, and just how close you might be to freedom so you decided to humour him, this one last time and you smiled as sweetly as you could. ‘Of course Darling, I understand.’ The words made you sick, but they were what it would take to get out there so you said them. 

He smiled back at you, his hand resting across the red lid of the container. ‘Now as much as I hate it, I have to go into the office today, the rest of the team are coming back today and I have to meet them for debrief. I won’t be back in time for lunch and so I’ve prepared you some food. While I’m away I still expect you to be on your best behaviour, you’ve been so good the past few days, I would hate for you to do something silly and ruin it all.’ His eyes bore into yours and you nodded, pretending to agree with him. He rounded the table again, coming to kneel in front of you, his face directly in line with yours, his hands cupping your cheeks. ‘I’ll see you for dinner Sweetheart, have a nice day.’ 

Steve didn’t give you a chance to respond before his lips met yours. The kiss was soft and sweet and completely disgusting. You hated the way his lips pressed against yours, the way his tongue forced its way into your mouth, the way it covered every crevice, leaving his mark. 

When he finally pulled back, he smiled at you, thumbs brushing your cheekbones. ‘We’ll work on that too.’ He gave you a sly wink, making your skin crawl as you forced a smile. ‘Now have a nice day and behave.’ 

‘You too Darling.’ He smiled as he stood up, collecting the dishes before pressing a kiss to your temple and leaving you alone, finally. 

+


	8. The First Attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: non con/dub-con (If you don’t like that sort of thing or it triggers you please do not read this), spanking with a belt, getting into some serious gas lighting techniques.

VIII. The First Attempt

You sat on the bed, your hands forcibly shoved underneath you as you waited, waited for him to go. It was agony, torture in the highest degree, knowing you were so close to freedom but that he might still be upstairs. You couldn’t hear anything outside of what happened in your room and so you had no idea whether he had left or not, but you figured he had been pretty much ready to go after breakfast; he had looked it at least. 

When you couldn’t take the waiting anymore, you jumped to your feet, heading over to the wall of windows, dragging the dining table with you as you went. If you stood on it, you would be able to reach them easily. You pressed your palm against the window, at this height you could see the grass on the other side, the way it gleamed in the sunlight, soaking up the sun for photosynthesis. You couldn’t wait until that would be you, lying in the grass, being able to feel the sun on your skin. 

Your forehead rested against the cool glass for a moment, wishing you could just be outside already, your lips tugged into a firm line. 

Jumping down from the table, you grabbed the small little tupperware container from the bench as you headed over to the bed, stripping the top sheet and lying it flat on the ground before heading to the dining room table. If you were going to make it out of here you would need provisions. You placed the lunch he had left in the center of the white satin before heading to the wardrobe. You tried to gather the most ‘normal’ looking clothes he had given you, not wanting to stick out too much when you were finally free. It would make it easier to hide from him. 

Laying the clothes and some toiletries down on your small pile, you briefly reconsidered your escape plan. You knew he would come looking for you, no matter where you went, he would follow. You didn’t even know where you were, the sky outside certainly didn’t look like you were still in Madrid. How were you meant to run when you didn’t know where to start? You were basically committing yourself to a life on the run from America’s hero. Is that what you really wanted? 

No, it wasn’t. But it was what you needed to do. Looking back at the dining table you knew you couldn’t continue to be his little doll, not for another minute. You gathered the corners of the sheet, tying them together to form a rucksack of sorts and hoisted it onto your shoulders, heading back over to the table and pressing your palm against the cool glass once again. 

It was a welcome relief on your skin as you contemplated the next step of your plan: how to smash the window… 

+

Steve had left nearly as soon as he had locked the basement door behind him. He knew that if he stayed, even for another five minutes, he would never leave. Opting instead to spend his day with you, maybe playing a little board game or sitting on the couch next to you, listening to you read your newest novel aloud. He loved the sound of your voice; the way your sweet, luscious lips curled around the words as they came out in your melodic trill. 

It had been torture in the highest form pulling away from you that morning, the ache between his legs begging him for a release and the sight of you, barely clad in what was his new favourite nightgown of yours. Oh how he had wanted to ruin your body for everyone else, ravishing you over and over again until you couldn’t walk anymore. But he had to wait, he needed your first time to be when you were ready, it would set the tone for the future of your relationship. But god was it hard to walk away from you, the way your hair was splayed across the satin sheets he had splurged on, just for you; the way you had felt so right in his arms, your body pressed against his warming him from the inside out. 

Suffice to say, his shower was a long one.

He couldn’t believe that he was really doing this, really leaving you at home, alone. You had been so well behaved the past few days, nearly always following his orders straight away. Sometimes, he could see the resistance in you, hidden behind duplicitous eyes. The sight always made him shudder, sadness creeping over his skin. You were his and he just had to wait until you realised that too, until you accepted that. Maybe that article he had read was right, maybe he had to break you before you could claim you but he hadn’t wanted to do that. He just wanted you to be his right away.

With one last glance at the basement stairs that led down to you, Steve forced his legs to carry him to his garage and drive away, all the while questioning whether or not you were really ready to be left alone.

His internal monologue had lasted all the way to the abandoned warehouse the team had been using as a headquarters, all the way through Sam’s debriefing of the mission he had missed out on and all through Nat’s threat assessment of a new up and coming cartel down in Ecuador. He knew he should be paying attention, he was the Captain of this team for crying out loud, yet every word spoken in the meeting had just flown in one ear and out the other. It was only when he heard the familiar chime of his cellphone, felt it vibrate against his thigh, that he was brought out of his internal spiral. 

His blood turned cold in his veins, his gut sinking to the floor as his phone continued to vibrate in his pocket, drawing the attention of his fellow teammates, all looking at him in wonder, curious as to who could be calling. But Steve knew better. He knew he wasn’t getting a call, everyone who had his number was in the same room as him. It was an alert; an alert that his girl was up to no good.

He excused himself from the table, heading out from the room and pulling his phone from his pocket. He forced himself to wait until he was in his office, behind closed doors before he opened it to the feed from the basement. He watched as you pressed a palm against the cool glass of the window, staring intently outside, the pressure on the glass being what had alerted him. 

A breath of relief escaped his lips. This he could deal with. He hadn’t specified that you weren’t allowed to touch the window and if that was all you were doing, that would be okay. It made sense that you wanted to look out the window, see the grass, the way it glittered in the sun. 

Steve felt a surge of guilt, it had been a while since you had felt the sun on your skin. Maybe if you were good today that could be a reward when he got home. He would pack a picnic, some dessert maybe, and you could sit out in his backyard on his lawn chairs. 

A smile crossed his face as he imagined the scene, it would be the next step to normalising your relationship and he couldn’t wait to take it with you. 

He watched as you stepped down from the window, picking up the tupperware container with your lunch as you headed back to the bed. Steve felt a surge of disappointment, were you really about to eat your lunch now? He had barely been gone for an hour, surely you weren’t hungry yet and if you ate now, you would be starving by the time he got back home. 

However, to his horror, he watched you strip the bed of its sheet, placing the packed lunch, some clothes and toiletries inside before heading back over to the window, his plans of a nice picnic in the yard ruined as he watched you pick up one of the dining room chairs, lugging it towards the bulletproof glass. Steve knew that it wouldn’t break, no matter what you threw at it but he couldn’t escape the hurt that flooded through his as he watched you try. 

When he couldn’t take it anymore; when he felt as though his rage was about to overpower him, swallow him whole, he forced himself to tear his eyes from his screen, heading back out through the hallway towards the garage, a plan forming in his head. 

+

Tears cascaded down your cheeks as you stared up at the sky through the taunting window. You should have known your captor would have reinforced, unshatterable glass windows. No matter what you had thrown at it, the glass remained perfectly intact, not a crack in its perfect facade. 

You had given up shortly after breaking one of the dining room chairs from how many times you had smashed it against the window. It had seemed like the easiest thing to throw at it, something heavy and solid yet still light enough that you would be able to get some force behind it. Oh how wrong you were. All those movies where the hero easily smashes the glass by simply throwing a punch at it had lied to you. 

You dreaded Steve’s return, you knew he wasn’t going to be happy with you. The broken chair lying by the base of the wall would serve as evidence to what you had done, had tried to do. 

You didn’t hear him return, the click of the lock, the clack of his shoes against the hardwood floors. The shower had drowned out all those sounds, the water cascading around you as you scrubbed your body clean, getting it ready for him. In your desperate state you had thought that maybe if you dressed up, just like how he wanted you too, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be as angry. 

You had searched through the wardrobe as you returned the dresses, searching for the opposite type of dress you had that morning, trying your best to look as though you had just stepped out of the forties. 

As you washed the last strip of conditioner from your hair, you felt his steel grip around your arm, his other hand forcing the shower off as he tugged you from the warm water. You didn’t dare look at his eyes, too afraid of the rage and disappointment that you were sure you would find conveyed in his clear blue eyes. 

He didn’t say a word as he forced you onto the bed, the room unnaturally dark as you glanced at the windows, seeing that a metallic covering had formed over all of them, blocking any light that might have entered the room. 

You cowered, trying to cover your body with you hands as he stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes taking in your naked body. 

‘S-St-Steve - Sweetheart, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’ You tried to scramble up the bed, take his face into your hands, your thumbs running across his cheeks leaving a wet trail behind them. 

‘Shut up slut. I don’t want to hear it.’ He grabbed your hands in his, easily flipping your body over, pushing you face first onto the mattress, binding each hand to opposite bed posts with metal handcuffs you had never seen before. You turned your face to him, cheek pressing against the dampening satin sheets, watching as he stared down at you, trepidation flooding through you. 

Even on that first day when you had refused to get out of bed he hadn’t looked this mad, his eyes practically ablaze. ‘Steve, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry my love. I promise, I’ll be your girl, your good girl. I’m sorry.’ Your words mixed together, covered by the sobs that wrecked through your body as he circled you, the clack of his shoes against the floor the only sound emanating from him.

‘I’m sorry Doll but the time for promises has passed. Your actions today have proven that you can’t be trusted. I hadn’t wanted it to come to this, I thought that maybe we could just skip over this entire step but apparently not. You need to be broken, only then will you be able to become fully mine like I want you to be. It may take a while, but I’m a very patient man.’ His tone was mocking, poking fun at your attempted escape.

His hand trailed down your back, ever so gently as he spoke, raising goosebumps across your skin. He picked up your hips, forcing you onto your knees as you heard the clink of his belt buckle coming undone. Your eyes squeezed closed, waiting for the zip of his fly to sound through the silent room, yet it never came. Instead, you heard the faint hiss of the leather against the air before it smacked down onto the tender skin of your arse. 

You had thought his palm had hurt, but that had nothing on the stiff leather in his hands as it reigned down onto you. Unlike last time, he didn’t make you count, something you were grateful for as there was no way you could have managed it between your shouts, pleas for him to stop. He also didn’t stop at ten like he had last time, continually hitting your skin for what felt like hours as you lay, helpless, at his mercy. 

When at last he did stop, the leather ceasing its abuse against your raw skin, you couldn’t form words, not when you heard the zip of his fly you had been waiting for, not when you felt the bed shift as he kneeled behind you or when you felt his fingers against you, swirling in the slick that you had no memory of forming. 

You heard his groan, felt his fingers circle against your sweet little bundle of nerves as he pushed his tip against you. His words from that morning apparently flying out the window as he eased in, inch by inch. 

Despite the wetness - which you were still confused about - he hurt. It hurt when his thick cock stretched your walls beyond what you could manage, when his tip felt as though it were brushing directly against your womb, when his pelvis met the tender skin of your ass, no doubt smearing the blood from the cuts his belt had caused. Despite all that physical pain, it was the mental pain that hurt the most, the way pleasure wrecked through your broken body as his finger pressed against you, matching the speed at which he rutted into you. 

‘I don’t know why I didn’t just start with this. Look at how your responding to me Sweetheart, look at the way your body craves me. Only I can give you this pleasure, only me.’ His breathing was heavy, pulling at your still wet hair, forcing your back to arch despite your hands still being cuffed to the bedpost as he spoke. 

You could only moan in response, the feeling of him brushing up against that sweet spot inside you too much to bear. ‘C’mon Sweetheart. You said you were going to be my good girl, so do it. Cum for me. Cum for me now.’ 

Your body followed his commands, pulsing around his cock, milking it as he emptied into you, his cum spilling out across your lips, down your thighs as he pulled out, a gentle slap - nothing in comparison to his belt - to your ass as he got off the bed, pulling his clothes on. 

‘I don’t know how long it’s going to take to make you compliant, but like I said earlier, I’m a very patient man.’ You heard the sound of his footsteps growing fainter as he neared the door, disappearing through it, the sound of the lock clicking as you realised he wasn’t coming back, not for a while at least. He was just going to leave you like this, face pressed against the wet sheets, cum spilling out of your aching hole and your hands tied above your head. 

Although you had thought you had used up your entire supply of tears as he had hit you, fresh ones started cascading down your cheeks, the darkness your only company as you cried until sleep could claim you.

+


	9. The Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: non con/dub-con (If you don’t like that sort of thing or it triggers you please do not read this), somnophilia, handcuffing, cum eating, sexy times, degrading, food being withheld, some serious gas lighting/ Stockholm syndrome elements.

Steve had left you like that for hours. Your face pressed against the satin pillows, your hands cuffed to the bed’s headboard, and your ass screaming in pain. You had no idea of how long it had been since he had disappeared through the door, but the skin on your wrists was rubbed raw from the metal cuffs wrapped too tightly around them as you had tried to get comfortable. All of your attempts had failed however, how could you get comfortable after what he had done to you?

You could feel the cum drying in between your legs, growing crusty as shame filled you at how easily you had caved to him, how easily he had played your body, learning what you liked and giving it to you. Sleep had been heard to come by, even in the complete darkness, but you did manage to get a few minutes? Hours? It was hard to tell how much time had passed in the dark. 

A light flickered on, the fluorescence hurting your eyes as they adjusted, having spent so many hours in complete darkness. When you could finally see again, you saw that the light was positioned over the couch, and you didn’t have to wonder why for long as you soon heard the all too familiar click of the lock as Steve returned. 

Even from your uncomfortable position on the bed you could see he only had one bowl with him on his tray and you figured it must be around dinner time, dread flowed through you at the thought of another night lying awake in hunger. He set the tray down on the coffee table in front of the couch before heading over to where you lay, a naked mess at his disposal. 

He uncuffed your wrists, hardly even looking at you before turned on his heel and walking back over to the couch. No words had to be said, it was clear he wanted you to follow him, and you would do as he wanted. 

Your legs were stiff, a sob escaping your mouth as you tried to move your arms after hours of being restrained while walking over to him. Every step sending a sting of pain up your legs, through your arse and towards your spine. You had tried to cover your body with the bed sheet, tentatively wrapping it around your aching body but one glance from his icy blue eyes had you discarding the satin on the floor, leaving your body bare. 

Trepidation flowed through you as you approached the couch, fear of the pain that sitting on the plush cushions would cause you. However, as you went to sit down, your felt Steve’s had wrapped around your arm, manhandling you to the floor beside him, forcing you into a kneeling position by his feet. 

‘Only good girls get to sit beside me. Until you learn your place, this is where you will be.’ You nodded despite your inner anger and watched as he began eating, cutting up pieces of steak with his knife and fork and shoving them in his mouth. You salivated just watching him, it had been hours since you last ate at breakfast and the rumbling of your stomach had you regretting skipping lunch. 

Steve had clearly heard the growl of your stomach as he paused eating, a smirk crossing over his face as you looked down at you. ‘Awww, is the little slut hungry?’

Unsure of the answer that he wanted, you nodded your head, your eyes pleading with him as you knelt before him. You didn’t have time to register his had swinging back before it hit you across the face, the force of it sending you tumbling to the ground. ‘How many goddamn times do I have to tell you? Use your words.’ 

‘I’m sorry Sweetheart. I am hungry.’ You could barely hear your own voice over the ringing in your ears but he clearly had, pressing a hand against the cheek he had just hit, stroking over your cheekbones as he smiled down at you. 

‘Don’t worry my love, I’ll feed you after I’m done.’ His drastic shift in moods caused you whiplash as he went back to eating his dinner, the only noise in the room was the clink of his cutlery against the china of his plate. 

You had no idea of how long had passed until he was finished, you had no way of telling whether it was minutes, or hours which it had felt like but he finally pushed the coffee table back out, away from the couch, settling his body into the plush cushions. You watched as his hands rested on his abdomen, a confusing smirk sent your way as his hands drifted down his torso before coming to his belt buckle. 

Dread flowed through you he undid the buckle, his fly coming undone, his pants being pushed to his knees, his thick cock slapping against his skin, his eyes never leaving yours. 

‘C’m on baby, don’t be shy. Come get your dinner.’ You wanted to scream in protest, get up and run as far away as you could, but the every present sting in your ass prevented you; warned you against it. Steve could sense your hesitation as you knelt in front of him, his eyes darkening even further at your lack of movement. ‘I’m not going to ask nicely again Doll.’ 

Shakily, you crawled in between his legs, your eyes locked on the small, glistening drop of precum slowly sliding down to his heavy balls. As you positioned yourself over his cock, ready to take it in your mouth, you were minutely aware of the crusty dried cum in between your thighs. You could feel the bile rise in your throat yet you tried to hold it in, swallowing it back down. 

‘Hurry up girl. I haven’t got all day.’ You locked eyes with Steve only to see an unrecognisable stranger sitting in his place. Gone was the tender, loving Steve who only wanted you to behave. In his place was this new cruel Steve, determined to break you down. 

Biting back your palpable resentment, you liked your lips before opening your mouth and forcing yourself to take him in. The sheer girth and length of him had your jaw already aching as you half heartedly began the descent down his cock.

Steve apparently wasn’t having it though as he bucked his hips up, forcing himself deeper. ‘C’mon slut. I know you can do better than that.’ His voice was a growl as he shoved both hands into your hair, tangling themselves in it as he controlled your new pace. 

The only sounds in the room were that of your gagging and spluttering on his cock as you tried to breathe around him and his own heavy breaths as he relished in the warm wetness of your mouth. 

His hands tightened their grip in your hair, yanking at the strands. ‘You said you were sorry Doll. Prove it to me.’ He practically spat his words at you as you knelt before him, eyes locking with his and you realised that he was serious. He wanted you to do better than you already were and you had no intention of what you happen if you didn’t. 

You breathed as deeply as you could before forcing yourself all the way down him, swallowing around his thick length, swirling your tongue along the underside of his shaft as you came back up. You repeated the motion several times, each swirl of your tongue earned you a deep moan from the man above you and as fucked up as it was, you loved hearing that sound. You loved the way it seemed to reverberate through the air and down inside of you, deep inside, making your thighs clench in need. 

You could tell that he was close, the tensing of his immense thigh muscles gave it away just before he came, deep inside into your mouth, a loud groan falling from his lips as his hold in you hair loosened. He didn’t have to tell you what to do next, you knew that he expected you to swallow whatever he gave you and so you forced the salty liquid down your throat, feeling the way is slid down into your stomach. 

His hands started playing with your hair, an action that would normally make you incredibly irate but under the circumstances you couldn’t find it in you to care. You were far too tired from the beating you had taken earlier that day and the events that had just transpired to care about what his hands would do to your hair which no doubt looked a hot mess right now given that you hadn’t had the chance to properly dry it after your attempted shower.

You just closed your eyes and tried to find comfort in your current position, ignoring the way your knees shouted in discomfort against the wooden floorboards. You didn’t even open your eyes when you felt him shift, his hands moving away from you, the crackle of a wrapper echoing through the quiet room. 

‘Open your eyes Doll.’ You did as he said, your eyes falling on the small protein bar he held out to you. Cautiously, you raised your hands to clasp around the wrapper and when he didn’t try and take it back or get angry at you, you took it from him, laying it in your lap. 

‘What do you say when I give you something?’ His voice was expectant, hinting at the icy turn it could take in seconds. Your eyes quickly snapped back up to his while you tried to find your voice. It was raspy and was barely more than a whisper, but you knew he would be able to hear it. 

‘Thank you Sweetheart.’ 

+

Steve had left you after that, saying he would be back later, leaving you alone once again. The light above the couch had stayed on, illuminating the rest of the room well enough and as tempting as curling back up in bed sounded, you desperately wanted some clothes, something to at least give you the idea of modesty and so you had trudged back towards the closet, wincing at every step. 

However once you had reached the closet, no matter how hard you twisted, pulled or pushed, the door remained in place, keeping you from your one hope of protection. You banged your head against the smooth wood, fighting back tears. Deep down you knew that in the grand scheme of things, not having clothes definitely wasn’t the worst thing to happen to you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. Being dehumanised like this was one of the worst things that man had done to you, it made his future intentions crystal clear. 

That night you had curled up as tightly as you could in a ball, cocooned in blankets, fighting the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, waiting for the light to click off to leave you in peace. When it finally did after what had felt like hours had passed, sleep was still hard to find. Your body sought comfort, not only for the physical pain he had caused, but also for the emotional pain. And the most fucked up thing about it, was that as your eyes drifted closed, you realised it was his comfort you craved. Barely a day in and you were already breaking. 

He really was going to break you down to nothing. 

+

Steve checked his phone as he made his way into the kitchen, watching as his girl slept, the picture of serenity. It broke his heart, having to do this to you but it was a necessity. If this was going to work, you needed to be broken, to be rebuilt by him. It went against every moral fibre in his body, but this is what he wanted; what he needed. 

He hadn’t even realised what he really wanted when he had taken you, but now, nearly two weeks into his operation he knew. He knew that you were going to be his endgame, one way or another. 

Mentally steeling himself, Steve descended the stairs to the basement, his tray of breakfast in one hand, his phone in the other. He watched as you slept soundly, even after he had switched the light over the couch on. He must’ve really tired you out last night. 

There was a stir beneath his trackies as he thought about last night; about yesterday. The way your cunt had felt around him, squeezing him for dear life while he tried to hold on until he felt your walls pulse around him. It had been everything he had dreamt of and more. And then when he had experienced your lips wrapped around him, the velvety warm swirl of your tongue… the bulge that was now evident beneath his tracksuit pants was evidence enough of just how much he had enjoyed it. 

Taking in a deep breath, Steve opened the door, wasting no time in disposing the tray on the coffee table as he had done last night before stalking over to where your sleeping body lay. During the night, your body had unfurled itself from the ball it had been as you fell asleep and now, Steve only had to peel back the blankets to reveal your naked body to him as you lay on your back, as if presenting yourself to him. 

Steve paused momentarily, awestruck by your curves, your breasts, the smattering of curls that hid his true desire from his vision. Slowly, gently, he lay down over your body, careful not to shift the bed too much, knowing that he would never get this calmness, this serenity from you while you were awake. At least not for a little while.

On their own accord, his lips connected with the soft, supple skin of your shoulder, placing soft, open mouthed kisses wherever they could as he moved down your body, latching onto one of your nipples. He swirled his tongue around the sensitive skin as his fingers brushed over the other one, teasing it to a peak while you slept. 

He continued his descent, not staying too long in one anyone place, worried that you would wake up before he reached his true destination and tried to stop him. He brushed over your naval, down on your thighs as his hands separated them, revealing you to him. A smirk came over his features as he stared at your glistening cunt. You might try to deny it, but even in sleep your body couldn’t lie to him. 

He pressed his tongue flat against your slit, licking all the way up to your clit, wanting to taste as much of you as possible, angry at himself for not doing it sooner. You tasted divine. 

He sucked your clit into his mouth, paying the utmost attention to the sensitive bundle of nerves while one of his fingers coated itself in your slick gently before easing in. 

Steve relished in the way your body changed, despite you remaining asleep. He loved the way your breathing picked up ever so slightly, the soft moans that tumbled out of your liberated mouth, the way your hips slightly shifted closer to him. 

It wasn’t until Steve added a second finger that you finally started to wake up, realising that the pleasure coursing through your veins was real and not just a dream. Your eyes drifting open, ever so slowly, and it took you a moment or two to realise what was going on; who the blonde tuft of hair between your legs belongs to. 

You raised your hands, tangling them in his hair with every intention of shoving him off you, but suddenly you felt a third finger being added, all three curled to hit right there and - ‘Oh’. The moan echoed around the small room, Steve’s eyes flickering up to meet yours, the crystal blue nearly black and you threw your head back against the pillows. Thoughts of shoving him off completely abandoned as your fingers curled in an unyielding grip, pulling him more towards you, the feeling of the constantly tightening coil too pleasant to deny. 

You could practically feel Steve smirk against you ignored it, too wrapped up in bliss to care as his fingers continually stroked over your g-spot, his tongue never ceasing its ministrations on your clit. ‘Oh Steve, Stevie yes please, right there, please Stevie.’ 

You felt him groan in response to your words, felt the bed shift as he ground into the mattress. Clearly someone was excited. You couldn’t hold in the smile that crossed your face, some sick part of you was thrilled that you had this much of an effect on the great Captain America. God, what was wrong with you?

You snapped your eyes shut, trying to force those thoughts out of your mind and focus on the intense pleasure that was building up in your stomach. You were so close you could almost taste your orgasm on your tongue, you just needed a little bit more to push you over the edge. 

‘Please Stevie, please. I need to cum. Please make me cum. I’ll be your good girl. Please.’ You felt his grip on your hips tighten even further and with a final flick of his tongue and curl of his fingers, the soil inside of you snapped, your vision went blurry and your body felt fuzzy, writhing on the bed as you slowly came down. 

You could vaguely feel Steve’s lips tracing a path up your body, pausing just before they met yours. As you kissed, you could taste yourself on his tongue as he forced it inside of you, trailing it over the entirety of your mouth. You didn’t realise what he was trying to distract you from until you felt his head poke at your slit before softly easing in. 

Although you did still feel the pain from the stretch of him, it felt good mostly, the way he filled you so completely, taking his time to thrust in and out, a stark contrast to yesterday. 

Even though you had only just come down from your orgasm, you could already feel the coil tightening once more as he continued to grind against you, making sure to always hit your clit with his pelvis as he moved. 

Every time he bottomed out inside of you, you could feel his tip scraping against your g-spot just as his finger had done and it never failed to make you a moaning mess. Your arms were wrapped around his thick shoulders, your legs around his waist, desperately trying to pull him even closer. All the thoughts of how you should hate him for everything that he had done and was doing to you were nowhere to be seen as his lips met your collarbone. 

‘Oh Stevie… god, yes Stevie, yes.’ Your words were barely a breath against his ear as he picked up his pace, the sound of your skin clapping filling the room. You watched in awe as he leant down on his elbows, capturing your face in his hands, forcing your eyes to lock. 

‘You’re gonna be the death of me Doll. The way you squeeze me so tight. It’s like a perfect fit, like you were made for me.’ Your body couldn’t help but respond to his words, your walls clenching around him as he pulled you impossibly close once again. 

‘Stevie please. I’m so close.’

‘I know Doll, I know. I’m nearly there. Just hold on a little longer.’ 

You were transfixed, lost staring into his eyes as his pace increased even further, rutting into you with a fever, chasing his finish. One hand slipped down from your face, tracing the contours of your body until it met your swollen clit, toying with it in time of your thrusts. 

You could barely keep your eyes open at this point, the pleasure radiating through your body was too much to handle and when your eyes started to drift closed, you felt his hand squeeze your jaw. ‘Eyes on my Doll. I want to see them as you cum around my cock. Me a good girl and cum for me baby, cum right now!’

You obeyed his words right on cue, your cunt spasming around his cock as your vision turned black, the pleasure too much to handle. 

When you came too a few moments later, you could feel Steve tracing patterns along your bare back enticing goosebumps wherever his hands roamed. ‘I’m glad your back with me Doll. I thought I’d lost you for a moment there.’ 

‘No, I’m right here.’ As much as you detested yourself for it, you subtly tried to bury yourself even further into his chest, relishing in his heat, in the feel of his hard muscles beneath you, ignorant of the giant smirk plastered on his face. 

+

Steve didn’t know how long you had been lying together, but he knew for certain that he wasn’t about to get up anytime soon. He knew that your cuddliness was most likely just a post orgasmic haze and it would soon turn back into your normal behaviour, but it gave him hope. Hope that this whole mean guy act would soon be over, and you would be truly his at last. 

It was only when Steve heard the persistent chime of his phone that Steve finally let go of you. He had tried ignoring it but it never let up and so he climbed out of bed, hating the piece of modern technology as he disentangled his limbs from yours and fumbled around for his jean pocket, mentally cursing whoever was calling him right now. 

However when he finally located the sleek device he noted that it wasn’t an incoming call, but a security alert that had the phone going haywire. Hesitantly, he opened his security app, clicking on where the alarm had sounded at his front door. 

The image on the screen had his face paling, panic started to overtake him as he stared down at the face of his best friend, standing on his doorstep. 

+


	10. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Talk of Stockholm Syndrome and gas lighting tactics.

X. The Truth

You felt cold, huddling further into the blankets as Steve started pulling on his clothes, running a shaking hand through his hair, his eyes flickering over to you every few seconds. Even with everything that he had done to you, you still wanted to comfort him. Obviously whatever was going on was freaking him out. 

You resisted the part of your brain that craved to get out of bed and wrap your arms around him, trying to calm him down. You hated that he had done this to you, made you feel distressed for him, not only because of him. You watched as he continued to dress, pulling his pants on and then his shirt and shoes before coming back to where you lay on the bed. You watched in trepidation as he pulled you into his arms, wrapping them firmly around your body. Despite how tightly he held you, you could still feel the slight tremble that resonated through his body. Something big was clearly going on. 

‘What’s going on Steve?’ Your words were mumbled against his pale blue shirt, the fabric dampening the sound and even though Steve didn’t respond for a long time, you knew he had heard you. 

‘It’s nothing Doll. Just go back to bed. I’ll be back down soon.’ You whimpered as he disentangled himself from you and stood from the bed. You watched him walk away, back towards the door, pausing once he got there to look back at you, his fear clearly reflected in his eyes as he stared at you like it may be the last time he would ever see you again. 

You were silent as his eyes held yours for a moment before breaking away and running a hand through his hair once more as he stared at the steel door in front of him. He didn’t look back as he pulled it open and closed behind him. The click of the lock signalled his departure as he left you alone once more. 

+

Steve’s heart was racing as he climbed the stairs, dreading having to open his door. He was partly tempted to just pretend he wasn’t even at home, to just leave Bucky standing out there and head back down to the basement. However he knew that it wouldn’t solve any of his problems, knowing Bucky he would just come back later or break down the door. 

Even though he had barely been away from you for a minute, he was already missing you. He felt kind of pathetic for it but the way you had felt beneath him, your walls fluttering around him just made him want to turn around and ignore Bucky. The taste of you was still on his tongue and if he weren’t so incredibly stressed about his best friend finding out what was going on, he definitely would have been hard underneath his trackies. 

While the sex had been amazing that morning, it wasn’t what he loved the most about the interaction. What had really made him feel like he was sky high was the way you hadn’t pulled away from him. Not during, and not after. 

He had worried that after yesterday it would be awhile before you came back to him yet you had lied there, curled against his chest, your arms wrapped around his torso as you both came back down. Steve didn’t want to be too hasty in moving your relationship forward, especially after what had happened yesterday, but it had filled him with hope. 

Steve paused on his way to the door, realising that he probably looked and smelt like sex. There wasn’t a lot he could about the smell about he headed into the bathroom quickly to give himself a once over, running his hands through his hair, trying to tame the post-sex style he was sporting. While a shower would be amazing, Bucky was standing outside his door, probably already wondering what the hell was taking him so long so he left the safety of the bathroom and headed back into the passage, taking the steps as slowly as he could. 

He tried to convince himself that there was no way Bucky could know what was going on. Sure he had been acting kind of strange and secluded the past month or so since meeting you again but surely Bucky hadn’t figured out what he had done. It was times like these that Steve really hated working with a bunch of super observant super spies. There was no such thing as secrets. 

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm his nerves, Steve placed his hand onto the door lock and twisted, pulling it open. 

+

You stared at the door through which Steve had left for a long time, waiting for him to come back down and tell you what the hell was going on. You didn’t understand what had happened to make him so freaked out but it was making you nervous by extension. 

Your mind was continually replaying the way his face and paled as he stared at his phone, the slight tremor of his hands as he held the sleek device, the way he had stared at you, had held you before he left, the terror that was so evident on his face. 

You scarcely dared to hope. Maybe someone had realised what had happened to you. You tried to count the days you had been trapped down here, tried to remember how long it had been. The days were fuzzy, they all tended to mix together but you were almost sure it had been over two weeks, heading towards three since that night Steve had taken you from your apartment. 

Relief flooded through you. If you were right and it had been nearly three weeks, surely Mariana was missing you, surely she had called the police once you didn’t return from your trip to New York. Maybe that was why Steve had been so panicked, some way, somehow, the police had tracked you to him. A smile covered your face, maybe you would be free soon.

However as you headed back to the bed, trying to cover yourself for when the police broke down the door, you didn’t expect the guilt to begin to bubble up through you. If the police came, they would take you away from Steve, he’d be locked away for breaking the accords, for saving his friend. 

Turmoil wrecked through your body as you sat, your fingers playing with the smooth satin sheets, your eyes flickering around the room. You tried to be rational yet every time you even thought of someone taking you away from Steve your mind would replay that morning, the way his tongue danced around your skin, the feeling of him inside of you. A shiver ran up your spine as you remembered that. The feeling of fullness he had given you was too good to resist. He had touched places inside of you previous lovers hadn’t even come close to. 

Yet with every good memory of the way he had held you as you read aloud to him, or every time he had helped with your hair before bed came a terrible memory. The feeling of his palm whacking your skin, his thick leather belt when you had tried to escape, the sheer anger that had radiated off of him yesterday tormented you. You could still feel the undeniable sting in your ass as you sat, a constant reminder of what he had done. 

You didn’t understand the turmoil you felt. You didn’t understand the guilt, the sense of sadness that came with the idea of being rescued. Any sane person would leave with the police and never look back. 

Staring at the steel door, you questioned your sanity. 

+

Bucky’s bored face was the first thing Steve saw as he pulled open the door. His best friend didn’t bother waiting for an invitation inside, merely sidestepped him and entered his house, giving him a long once over. ‘Last time I checked you were still a healthy young punk, not some senior citizen who takes five minutes to answer his doorbell.’ 

‘Sorry Buck, I uh… I was just about to take a shower.’ Lying to his best friend felt unnatural and just plain wrong but he couldn’t tell him the truth, not with everything that he had been through. 

‘Oh a shower huh? Yeah I see that. Sometimes after sex I like to shower too, helps get the smell off of me.’ Steve was glad he was no longer facing Bucky as he led him down the hall, mentally cursing himself for answering the door and not getting back in bed like he wanted to. The two men took a seat at Steve’s coffee table and the blonde twiddled his thumbs, watching his best friend stare him down. ‘Don’t even try and deny it Stevie, I’ve known for a while. I’m just really starting to get worried, you left the meeting early yesterday you’ve been completely MIA since Madrid. I know we were away on a mission but you didn’t call, not once to see how it was going. You’re just not acting like yourself and Nat and I are starting to get a little concerned. What’s going on? Who is she?’ 

‘I’m not ready to talk about it yet Buck. It’s… it’s still too new, too fragile. Plus if I do you’re gonna hate me.’ Steve could barely look him in the eyes, focusing instead on his fingers as they played with themselves. 

‘Okay, now I know something’s seriously wrong with you. I could never hate you Stevie. You my best pal, I just want to know what’s going on.’ His words did little to settle the uneasiness that bubbled in Steve’s stomach. 

‘But you will. I’m basically doing what Hydra did to you, to her.’ The admission itself felt good but the long pause that followed his words didn’t. 

‘What do you mean Steve? What do you mean you’re doing what Hydra did to me, to her?’ He could feel Bucky’s eyes on him but the words didn’t want to come. While they were definitely questionable, Steve could justify his actions to himself. He was lonely and had done so much for the world and received so little in return. He had been thrown out of his time and forced into the twenty-first century. Everything had been taken from him. Was it really so wrong for him to want something, someone to himself?

‘I just… I saw her. Years ago. It was the battle of New York and I-I saved her but she didn’t… She didn’t say thank you. Months passed; years passed, and I couldn’t get her out of my mind and then I saw her. She was working in that little cantina, you know the one we were observing because of Alejandro? I don’t know why she was there but she was. After all this time apart and to just see her again, it was too much. I didn’t want to lose her once more. I know it sounds crazy because we didn’t even know each other but I felt like we did. I had spent years obsessing over her and here she was, just ready for the taking.’ The words didn’t feel quite coming out of Steve’s mouth but he pushed on, needing for Bucky to understand.

‘I knew it was wrong, I knew I shouldn’t do it but I started to watch her, following her whenever I could and when she booked a ticket back to New York, I took it as a sign. She was coming back, she was coming back to me. She may not have known it at the time but she was.’ His mouth went dry and his mind blank as he tried to come up with the words for how to describe what happened next. 

‘What did you do to her Steve? Where is she?’ Bucky’s voice was low, as though he were talking to a frightened animal and not one of the world’s mightiest heroes. 

‘Downstairs.’ The word was barely more than a whisper yet Bucky’s reaction was immediate. He stood from the table, his chair scraping against the hardwood.

‘You’re keeping her in the basement? Steve for god sake! She’s a person too.’

‘Don’t you think I know that Bucky? Don’t you think I feel bad about what I’m having to do? But if I want this to work, if I want us to work then this is what I have to do. Plus this way I can always make sure she’s safe and that she won’t be able to run from me. And it’s not like I haven’t tried to make her life better.’ 

‘Make her life better? Steve, she’s trapped in your basement.’

‘She’s not trapped and she won’t be there forever. When she finally learns how to behave, I’ll take her out. She’ll live up here with me. I have it all planned out. And i am making her life better. She was miserable in Madrid, her apartment was a tiny, unconditioned little thing. She had no one except for that old lady who owned the cantina and while she may only have me now, eventually I really want her to have you and the rest of the team too. She has no family, no one who will miss her and I want to give her that, a family. I love her Buck. I know I’ve completely gone about it the wrong way but I was so scared that she would just reject me again or something like that. Surely after everything I’ve suffered, I deserve this one little piece of happiness?’

Steve watched Bucky as he absorbed everything that had been said, processing Steve’s justification of what had happened. 

‘I want to meet her.’ Bucky was firm, retaking his seat at the table across from Steve, his eyes never leaving Steve’s.

‘I’m sorry Buck but I can’t let that happen.’

‘What do you mean you can’t let that happen?’ Bucky’s response was biting yet Steve held firm.

‘She’s not ready yet. I don’t think it will take too much longer, she’s already softening towards me but she’s not ready to see anyone other than me yet, especially not after what happened yesterday.’

‘Ahh, so that was about her. What happened that made you leave so suddenly?’

Steve had to break eye contact, swallowing down his guilt. ‘She tried to escape.’ Bucky could see the guilt in Steve’s eyes and he knew what came next without even needing to ask. ‘I had to punish her. To show her that behaviour like that is unacceptable. But she’s forgiven me, or she will. She’ll understand.’

There was a long pause while Bucky stared at his best friend, confused as to when he became the type of person that thought kidnapping a young woman was okay. Yet he did have to admit, he could understand where Steve was coming from. The two of them had sacrificed so much, too much, and despite the limited amount of time Bucky had spent with his best friend since coming back from Madrid, he could see the changes in Steve already, he truly did love her in his own messed up way. 

‘I want to at least see her then. You said you had to make sure she’s safe so I assume you have cameras set up in her room.’ Steve nodded, thankful that Bucky was still talking to him, that he seemed to be coming around to the idea. He pulled out his phone, opening the security app and took a quick glance, his heart settling as he saw you were completely covered by the white sheets. At least he wouldn’t have to explain why you weren’t wearing any clothes.

Bucky’s eyes squinted as he stared at the phone, swiping through the different camera angles as he tried to find one that gave him a good enough view of your face. Although there was a screen separating the two of you, Bucky could read you like a book. He saw the conflicting emotions as they played across your face, the subdued excitement, the heavy guilt, the immense worry. He wasn’t entirely sure what it all meant but you seemed healthy enough, at least what he could see of you and he knew that despite the punishments Steve would be treating you well and the room seemed to be fully decked out with anything you could need. He nodded slowly, passing the phone back to Steve. 

‘So you’ve had her since Madrid? That was what, three weeks ago? Has she seen any sunlight since then?’ 

Yet another surge of guilt flooded Steve as he ran a hand through his hair. ‘No. I had plans yesterday, I wanted to take her for a picnic but then she tried to escape and I couldn’t really reward her after that.’

‘Steve c’mon man. You know better than this. Three weeks without having even seen the sun? The least you could do is unseal the windows. They’re unshatterable so it’s not like she’ll be able to escape through them.’ 

‘They were unsealed. How do you think she tried to escape yesterday? She threw one of the chairs against it. I need to replace it now, it’s in tatters from the force of being thrown against a window multiple times.’ 

Bucky’s lips were pursed as he considered what Steve was saying. He understood - despite still slightly disagreeing with the method used - that if Steve really wanted this to work certain things had to be done. ‘Fine, but the windows come unsealed tonight. Say it’s a reward for behaving so well today while you were gone or whatever and she better feel the sunlight before the week is up. It can’t be healthy for her going so long without it.’ 

A small smile crossed Steve’s face as he heard Bucky’s recommendations. He wasn’t berating him for being a monster or for all the awful things he had done. He was helping him, guiding him. 

‘I’m gonna head back to HQ, I need to run some errands before I head back to Wakanda.’ The smile fell from Steve’s face.

‘What do you mean before you head back to Wakanda?’ He saw the hesitation in Bucky’s face as he considered his words. 

‘Well, if you had been listening to the briefing yesterday, you would know that I wasn’t feeling so well in Sokovia, some new memories and nightmares came. I think I’m going to head back to Wakanda and see is Shuri can help me any more than she already has.’

A deep, inherently selfish part of Steve didn’t want his best friend disappearing again, he felt like he had only just got him back, but he knew that if Bucky were going to continue doing this type of work, he needed to be able to trust his mind one-hundred percent so he nodded. ‘When are you leaving?’

‘I’m not sure, in a couple of days at least. I want to meet your girl before I leave so I guess whenever you feel she’s ready for visitors.’ Steve stood from the table, bringing his best friend in for a hug.

‘I know it’s completely messed up but thanks for understanding. I love her, I really do and I want you to meet her so badly because I know you’ll love her too. She’s good for me Buck, she’s so good for me.’

‘I don’t doubt that Stevie, but I meant what I said about the sunshine thing, you need to take care of her. I know it’s hard because she’s misbehaving but you can;t screw it up. You don’t want to push her too far and not have her come back to you.’

Steve nodded solemnly as he followed Bucky back through the hallway, towards the front door, watching from the doorstep as he got into his car and drove away.

Only when the car completely disappeared from view could Steve finally let out the breath that he had been holding in. 

+

You hadn’t moved from your position on the bed, your fingers still playing with the white satin as you stared at the door, waiting to see what would happen. Without the sun shining in through your windows, you had no way of telling how much time had passed since Steve had disappeared upstairs, no way of telling what would happen when he came back down, if he came back down. 

You tried to busy yourself by retreating to your happy place, a place you spent a lot of time the past few weeks but it wasn’t quite doing it for you today. On a normal day it would just be you, sitting alone in a library, or lying in a field in the sun reading some book, yet today there was always a presence with you. Not necessarily Steve, yet he was warm and muscular and he held you as you read aloud to him. 

You tried to get your mind to shut up, to stop thinking about that man, it wasn’t healthy, yet when you weren’t in your happy place with the men who wasn’t-Steve, you were worrying about him, about what was taking so long. 

When the familiar click of the lock sung out through the empty room, you couldn’t stop yourself from rushing to the door, ignoring your obvious nakedness. You hated yourself slightly that when you saw it was Steve standing behind the door, seemingly unhurt, you flung your arms around him without thinking. 

You pressed your body against his, craving his heat in the chill of the room, thankful that he had returned to you even though it meant that your rescue clearly wasn’t happening today. You felt his body tense slightly at your touch but eventually, the longer you held onto him for, the calmer he got, wrapping his own arms around you and pulling you impossibly closer. 

‘What happened Stevie? You had me so worried when you left.’ The sound of his nickname falling from your lips did not escape his notice as he stroked your skin, relishing in the feeling of you against him. 

‘It’s fine Sweetheart. It was just a friend coming to visit. He wanted to chat about a few things and when you’re ready for visitors, I really want you to meet him.’ 

When you’re ready for visitors.

His words echoed around in your head, swirling against your temple. You would be able to see other people? Not just Steve? He didn’t just want to keep you trapped down here for all eternity? It felt like too much to hope for, being able to go outside and talk to other people so you tried to push the thoughts down and out of your head. 

Instead you chose to focus on the feel of Steve’s palms running up and down your bare back, burying your face even further into his chest as he held onto you.


	11. The Syndrome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety, panic attack, smut

Steve watched as you slept, curled into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around your body, pulling you impossibly closer as he breathed in your scent. He watched as you buried your head further into his chest, relishing in the way you body felt pressed against his own. He had been so scared, terrified right to his bones that Bucky would take you away from him. It had only been a few weeks but already you were a part of his life, a part of him. 

He watched as the sun began to peak in through the windows he had unlocked the night before, claiming it to be a reward for your good behaviour as Bucky had demanded. The morning light gave him hope, hope that soon the days of the basement were over. His bed upstairs had been getting lonely and he longed to be able to take you out, to introduce you to the rest of his team, to walk hand in hand down the street. 

Your body stirring against his pulled Steve out of his daydream and back to the present; back to you. ‘Good Morning Sweetheart. How did you sleep?’ You could feel his chest vibrate against your ear as he spoke, fully pulling you out of your slumber. Tilting your head up you were met with his crystal blue eyes staring down at yours, full of life and joy, and while it made you smile on the inside seeing him so happy, you weren’t quite ready to reveal that it was the best night’s sleep you had had in a very long time. 

‘It was good Stevie, what about yours?’ His smile grew even larger hearing the little nickname falling from your lips, inflating the balloon of hope inside his chest even further. 

‘It’s impossible for me not to have an amazing night’s sleep when you’re in my arms.’ You wanted to roll your eyes slightly at his cheesy line yet the way it flooded you with warmth inside out held you back. You felt him shift underneath you, one arm unwrapping itself from you, raising up to stroke his fingertips against your cheek, brushing away the stray hairs as your eyes closed in contentment. You could get used to mornings like this. 

His fingers danced along your skin as he cupped your chin, tilting it up slightly, his lips brushing ever so softly against your own. It was slow and gentle and so unlike the other times he had kissed you it left you dazed and confused. 

His tongue delicately traced across your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you gladly gave him. Your own hands cupped his face as he kissed you, tracing over every freckle and pore of his skin, loving the way his body felt against yours. You shifted on the bed, lying so that you were straddling his waist, your chest pressed against his and your hands in his hair as your tongues danced together, memorising each other just as his hands were memorising every inch of your body as they unearthed every dip and curve of your body, before coming to a stop on your ass, squeezing the still tender flesh eliciting a moan to tumble from your mouth and into his. 

You swirled your hips against his as you sat atop of him, relishing in the small groans of pleasure he released as your glistening wet lips brushed against his growing length, leaving a trail of arousal on the soft material of his boxers. 

A soft gasp escaped your lips as your world was flipped upside down and all of a sudden his body was on top of yours, one hand still groping your ass as the other moved up your body to cup your breast. You threw your head back against the mattress as his lips trailed down your jaw line to your neck, pausing every now and then to leave warm open mouthed kisses, occasionally sucking the supple skin into his mouth hard enough to leave a love bite. 

Your moans mixed together as he lowered himself down even further, taking one pebbled nipple into his mouth, sucking on the hard nub, gently rolling it around with his tongue, biting down ever so slightly, just hard enough for it to hurt, yet still be pleasurable. 

He clearly noticed your thighs rubbing against one another, trying to get the friction that you greatly needed as his hand slipped around from your ass to trace your swollen lips, facing no resistance as two slid inside. Your grip on his hair tightened as his fingers curled, grazing against your walls, against there, and his lips slowly descended the rest of your torso, joining his fingers. 

His tongue circled your bundle of nerves, licking a long stripe along it occasionally as your muscles tightened underneath him. He pulled it into his mouth as a third finger slid home, your back arched against the mattress, pushing yourself further into him, begging him for just a little bit more. 

You hadn’t been completely ready for it when the wave crashed over you, your muscles spasming as your walls fluttered around him. Through the haze of pleasure you felt him draw himself back up over your body, placing soft butterfly kisses over your body, over your face as you slowly came back down, a blissed out smile on your face as your eyes fluttered open to see his. 

No words needed to be spoken as you pulled his face down to yours, your lips moving together lazily as your other hand pulled his boxers down before wrapping around his cock, working it slowly as you collected the precum from the tip and coated the rest of him in it. When he was decidedly wet enough, you lifted your hips slightly, angling him at your entrance, waiting for him to thrust in. 

His hands wrapped around yours, holding them gently as he pushed in, his forehead resting against yours. ‘Fuck Doll. You feel so good. You’re so good to me.’ You smiled, lacing your fingers with his and lifting your head to kiss him gently as he continued his slow pace. 

It was like nothing else you had ever experienced, the gentleness of it all, the intimacy you felt right in that moment as he continued to slide home inside you. The other times with him had been good but this was something else; something completely new. You couldn’t put your finger on what had changed since yesterday but right now you didn’t want to think, you just wanted to relish in the pleasure he was giving you with every thrust of his hips. 

Your fingertips clawed at his back, digging into the firm muscles as he pulled you closer and closer to the edge. Your breaths mingled as one of his hands disentangled itself from yours, sliding down your body to where you were connected to him. He toyed with your clit, slowly circling it with his fingers, loving the way your walls clenched around him in response. 

‘That’s it baby, you’re nearly there. Be a good girl for me and just let go, let me help you.’ Your head spun as you took in his whispered pleas and your body obeyed him, walls fluttering around his cock, muscles spasming underneath his body, a long drawn out moan leaving your lips as you felt him reach his own release. 

He stayed on top of you, his fingers dancing along your skin, his eyes absorbing every pore of you as he leaned down to press your lips together. It was slow and gentle and easy, lying there in his arms like nothing else mattered but you and him. 

It was only when he pulled out of you and you could feel him leave your lips, drop by drop that you fully remembered where you were, what had happened to get you into this position. If he sensed a change in your manner he didn’t let up as he quickly kissed you once more before getting out of bed, pulling his boxers back on. 

‘Here.’ You stared up at him, pulling the sheets around your body as you took in the shirt he was handing you confusedly. 

‘Here, put it on.’ He repeated himself for you as you refused to move, not understanding why he was giving you his shirt. When moments that felt like minutes had passed, you felt the bed dip once more as he moved your arms this way and that to get the button up shirt on you. Your eyes locked with his as the shirt hung off your shoulders, his fingers pressing against your skin through the material as he did the buttons. 

‘Sweetheart, are you okay?’ You tried to speak, to nod your affirmation yet you couldn’t. The war raging inside of you was too much to handle, it was controlling you, your every thought, your every movement. Why were you feeling like this? So tender to the man that kidnapped you? Who had hurt you? It wasn’t right; it wasn’t how normal people felt, yet you couldn’t deny it any longer. You yearned for him, for his embrace, his presence, his body. Being surrounded by his scent wasn’t doing you any favours as every breath you took served as a reminder of what you could have if you just behaved. Life could be good to you; he could be good to you. 

‘Sweetheart, you’re really starting to worry me, what’s wrong.’ Tentatively, you held out a shaking hand, reaching out to cup his face, your thumb slowly swiping across his cheekbone. You forced a smile onto your face as your eyes clouded with unshed tears. 

‘Nothing. Nothing’s wrong Stevie.’ Your voice was weak as you reassured him, the tears finally overspilling as you leaned into him, kissing him once more and as your lips met your suspicions were proved true. You knew exactly what had changed since yesterday. 

+

Steve hadn’t wanted to leave you to go upstairs and get breakfast nevermind leaving you alone for the day, and so he had texted Bucky, asking him if he could handle things at headquarters, assuring him that everything was okay, that you were just acting a little weird this morning. He couldn’t think of anything worse than leaving you right now, not after having to brush away your tears with his fingers as you cried, clinging to him, refusing to let go or even tell him what was wrong. 

A part of him had wanted to get stern, to force you to tell him, after all if he wanted a successful relationship with you communication would be key. Yet as he held you to his chest and your tears started to disappear, he realised that maybe that wasn’t the way. As much as he didn’t like it, maybe it would be okay if he just let you have this moment. Plus the way you had clung to his body long after your tears had subsided had reassured him. Whatever this was, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing for him, for your relationship, yet it still pained him to see you upset no matter what the issue was. 

He tensed when he felt arms wrap around his stomach, your head being buried into the wall of muscles that was his back. Being as lost in his thoughts as he was, he hadn’t even heard you move from your seat on the island bench and while he had been clear that you weren’t allowed to move, he figured this was okay, it wasn’t like you were trying to escape. He flipped you over, turning around in your arms, making it so that you were between him and the stove. It was delightful seeing you in his kitchen, wearing only his shirt and nothing else, the best thing he could ever ask for. 

‘What are you thinking about Stevie?’ Your voice was slightly muffled as you pressed your face against him. 

‘Just you. Always about you.’ You smiled at his words, tipping your head up slowly to stare back at him as he concentrated on the pancakes behind you. 

It was still so surreal, being up here, in his kitchen, being able to see the rest of his house. You suspected it was because Steve hadn’t wanted to leave you so soon after your breakdown, even if it were just to get breakfast and so he had invited you upstairs with him. He had been very firm about the rules, you weren’t to scream, run, or try anything, but it didn’t bother you, at least, not much. You knew already that you would never win in a fight with him, he was far stronger and it would end up ugly for you, and so you resigned yourself to following his rules without complaint, promising to be his good girl. 

As he finished the pancakes, he added it to the stack that had been keeping warm in the oven before leading you to the dining room, his hand in yours as he placed the plate down on the smooth wooden table and pulled out your seat for you. 

You could hear Steve talking to you, saying something as you sat down, yet you couldn’t be sure what it was. Your eyes were locked on the windows, taking in the familiar skyline in the far away distance. While you had known you probably weren’t in Madrid anymore, you had no other clues to where you were… until now.

Steve’s jaw clenched as he watched you overtly ignore the plate of food he was offering to you, the sheer lack of manners enough to cause him to grind his teeth. His muscles tightening as he prepared to spring out of his chair should you show any intention of moving towards the windows. Maybe it had been soon to take you upstairs but he hadn’t wanted to leave you alone in your current state. 

He put the plate down in front of you, still unable to pull your gaze from the windows and with every second that passed, his temper because shorter and shorter. Reaching out he grabbed a hold of your arm, his grip a little too tight as your eyes finally snapped to his. 

‘What are you thinking Sweetheart?’ He tried to make his voice sound calm yet failed to hide the threat of anger as his eyes were locked on yours, looking for any trace of a lie that might come out of your mouth. He knew that he needed to be gentle with you since your breakdown but he wouldn’t stand for this, for your blatant disregard for his rules.

‘We’re in New York.’ Your voice came out as a whisper and Steve slowly nodded. You could see his poorly disguised anger and tried to rectify the situation. ‘I’m sorry Steve, I didn’t mean to… it’s just… I haven’t been back here since-’

‘The Battle of New York, when we first met.’ You nodded slowly, your eyes falling back down to your plate, memories of that day flashing through your mind, of the panic you had felt trapped underneath the car, of how Captain America had jumped in front of you and saved you. 

His hand slid down your arm to clasp yours in his while his other tilted your chin back up to face him, his anger fading away. ‘Hey now, Sweetheart. It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe now, the Chitauri are gone and they’re never coming back. I’ll always protect you.’ You nodded through the tears that had once more started pooling in your eyes, swiping at them with the napkin that Steve handed you. 

‘I know it’s silly, it’s been over five years now but I just… Being back here brings back so many memories.’

‘I know Sweetheart, I know. It’s not silly at all, you nearly died. It was avery traumatising event but you’re safe now. You’re with me and I’ll never let anything or anyone hurt you.’ You wanted to believe the sweet words pouring from him, wanted to believe that he meant them but the nagging voice in the back of your head was asking how much you could trust him after everything he had done to you. 

You tried to ignore the voice, forcing a smile on your face. ‘I know Stevie. It’s just… hard.’ A sad smile crossed his face at your words and while you felt like he wanted to talk about it more, you hastily changed the subject. ‘Thank you for breakfast, it looks delicious.’ Your smile was a little more real as you leaned over the table, reaching for the lemon and sugar, silently begging that Steve would let the conversation drop.

‘You’re welcome Sweetheart.’ Your eyes locked once more before you started to dig in, your eyes not once returning to the skyline. 

+

The next week or so passed in a similar fashion, Steve had grown more comfortable having you upstairs for meals and you always made sure to keep your eyes away from the city, away from the memories it brought with it. 

While your closet downstairs had been unlocked, you found yourself rarely wearing the clothes inside, opting instead for one of Steve’s t-shirts. They were warm and comfortable and whenever he had to leave you for work, they reminded you of him, comforting you in your loneliness. 

Right now you sat in your favourite armchair, curled up in one of Steve’s sweatshirts, staring blankly at Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ as you tried to distract yourself until Steve would get home. You still had no way of telling the exact time down in the basement but judging from the darkening sky outside, it was much later than he had said we would get home by. 

A small irrational bead of panic had started to build up in your stomach, making it impossible to concentrate on the novel in front of you. What if something had happened to him? What if the government had found him? What would that mean for you? No one knew where you were, you would stay trapped down here, just like you had been underneath that car. You couldn’t stop the thoughts as they raced through your mind, the flashes of the Battle, of those aliens preparing to kill you, the car weighing you down, the steel door trapping you inside. 

Your breaths became short, rapid, and shallow. You were struggling to get enough air in you as you stood from the armchair, fumbling your way over to the wall. The cool surface helped calm you somewhat through Steve’s sweatshirt as you slid down, falling to the floor.

This wasn’t your first time having a panic attack, some small part of your brain knew what to do, yet it had been so long, maybe two years since your last one that it all felt so new. When the feeling in your fingertips started to disappear it brought on a new wave of panic. The feeling slowly spread to your palms and then your forearms, and soon everything below the elbow was numb. As your tried to move your fingers, you were only met the a wave of white noise, complete blankness. There was nothing.

Tears had starts cascading down your cheeks by this point, your sobs mixing with your rapid breaths as you tried to get a grip on yourself but nothing was working. Everytime you tried to count your breaths you were met with even more panic, your brain not functioning enough to remember what number came next. 

You didn’t notice him until he was kneeling in front of you cradling you to his body, trying to ask what was wrong, what he could do to help. You couldn’t figure out quite what he was saying, but you knew he could help. ‘Please, Steve… Please. I can’t - I can’t feel my… my fingers. Please.’ 

Your words were a slurred and jumbled mess but Steve could understand what was happening. He had seen similar effects in many of his friends, particularly Bucky after he had come back from Hydra. Gently he released your body back to the wall, picking up both your hands in his and gently squeezing. 

‘Sweetheart? I need you to breathe with me. Please? Can you do that for me? Just one big breath in and out.’ His voice brought you slowly out of your haze, the minutes passed as he continued squeezing your fingers every now and then, your body following his as he breathed. 

You had no idea of how much time had passed, how long you had been sitting there, staring at him, breathing with him while he gently brought you back down. Eventually your tears stopped and he brought you back to his chest, wrapping his hands securely around your body as he stood, carrying you over to the bed and gently laying you down, crawling in beside you. 

Your brain was still foggy as you felt his hands brush down your back in soothing motions, the temptation to fall asleep was strong yet your brain was still too amped up. 

‘Do you want to talk about it Sweetheart?’ His voice was soft against the silence of the room and while you didn’t want to, you knew you should.

‘It’s just… you were gone for so long and I - I started panicking, thinking maybe you weren’t coming back and… and what would happen to me? I’m stuck down here, no one knows about me and it just… it just reminded me of the street, of the Chitauri, of being trapped.’

‘Shhh Sweetheart, you’re okay. It’s okay. I’m here, I’ll always be here. I got home a little bit but I wanted to prepare some dinner for us. I’m sorry I didn’t come down sooner.’ He tried to soothe you, pressing his lips to your temple but it wasn’t working.

‘Steve, I’m being serious. What would happen to me if something happened to you? I know you haven’t been going on as many missions recently but eventually something will come up and your team will need you. What will happen to me then? How will I eat? I’d starve to death down here.’ You tried to reason with him, make him see what you were trying to say as you felt his body tense underneath yours, probably thinking the worst. 

‘I just… Being back in New York has brought up so many memories that I would rather forget and being down here… without you I would die Stevie. You’re the only thing keeping me alive down here and I guess… I guess I would like some control - no, some independence maybe. Like, having a fridge down here or some non-perishable food, just so I know if something happens to you, I’ll be okay, for a few days at least.’ 

You could feel him nod above you as he took in your words, his hands never ceasing their soothing motions as he deliberated internally. ‘I’ll think about it, I promise Sweetheart. But you should know that if anything did happen to me, you would be okay. Bucky knows your down here, and he’ll know what to do.’ You didn’t know who Bucky was, but hearing that at least someone else knew you were down here made you feel better, despite the sliver of betrayal that peaked through. How could this Bucky know what Steve was doing and condone it? 

You tried to shake those thoughts from your head as you buried your head further into his chest, your eyes drifting close on their own accord as he continued to soothe you, his heart right underneath your head.

+

It was at breakfast the next day when Steve sprung his surprise on you. He had been pensive all of last night through dinner and then this morning while making breakfast, his brow furrowed in concentration. You had tried to ask what was wrong but he would just smile and shake off your question, redirecting the conversation elsewhere. While it did hurt that he didn’t want to talk to you about whatever was going on, you could understand, you thought that perhaps it was some Avengers business that he literally couldn’t tell you. 

The dishes were done and whatever dishes could be placed in the dishwasher were tucked away and you were mentally preparing yourself to go back down to the basement. Going back downstairs was your least favourite time of day. Everytime you hated having to say goodbye - no matter how temporary - to the upstairs rooms. You hadn’t seen much of the house but the rooms that you had been allowed into were all open planning, lots of windows and high lofty ceilings for light to filter in. As nice as the basement was, it had nothing on the rest of the house. 

You followed Steve through the hallway towards the door leading downstairs, confusion crossing your face when he didn’t stop, instead pausing by the staircase leading to the second story. ‘I thought about what you said last night Sweetheart and I want to show you something.’ He held his hand out which you gladly took in yours, watching as he started to climb the stairs.

Upstairs there was a small hallway, with four rooms coming off of it yet Steve walked past each room, pausing only at the door at the end of the hallway, casting one last glance down at you before he pushed the door open. 

You stepped into the bedroom, glancing around at the obscenely large bed, the plush chaise at the base of it, the floor to ceiling windows that carried in the sun’s morning light. You didn’t understand why he was showing you this, why he had brought you here instead of the basement. You confusion must have shown on your face as Steve took a deep breath, casting you yet another observing glance before apparently making his mind up.

‘This was my room, where I used to sleep, before you. I thought about what you said last night and you’ve been behaving so well recently and I was thinking that maybe, you were ready to come upstairs. There would be rules of course and punishments if you disobeyed, but I thought this was a good step forward and since the kitchen is right downstairs you won’t have to worry about starving if I’m not here.’ 

Before you could stop yourself you flung your body into his arms, you lips chanting ‘Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I promise I’ll behave Stevie, I’ll be your good girl.’ You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss as he adjusted his grip on your thighs as they wrapped themselves around his torso. 

You were elated as he carried you over to the bed, lying you down and pressing his firm body against yours. ‘What do you say we christen this bed right now?’ You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as you pried him from his shirt, pulling your own off soon after. You had big plans on how to christen this bed… 

+


	12. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: smut

XII. The Meeting

Your fists curled into the sheets so tightly that you thought for sure they would make rips in the silken material. Your knees ached from how long you had been kneeling on them as they rubbed against the mattress with every thrust of his hips. The obscene sounds of your cunt clenching around him echoed in the bedroom as he drove you closer and closer to the edge once more.

He pounded into you with such a ferocity you worried that you would collapse underneath him and he seemed to realise this as he easily picked you up from the bed, wrapping on arm around your torso and the other around your neck softly, pulling your back against him, supporting your weight since you couldn’t.

‘That’s it Sweetheart, you look so fuckin’ good like this.’ His words came between his groans, murmured against the shell of your ear. ‘Look at yourself in the mirror, taking my cock so well, being my good girl.’ You couldn’t hold the moans back at his words, your eyes peeling open to stare at the large mirrored door that lead to the wardrobe in which you saw yourself reflected.

You had to agree with him, it was a sight for sore eyes. You mouth was open, dropped in an extended ‘O’ shape as his hand tweaked your nipples, pulling them into hard beads, rolling them between his fingers. You threw your head back against his shoulder, unable to keep yourself upright as his other hand danced down your body, swirling in the pool of slick that had gathered where you were connected.

He rubbed your clit with two fingers, as you screamed in silence, murmuring a jumbled collection of words, each one slurring into the next as the euphoria flooded your veins. ‘That’s it Sweetheart. Let go for me, c’mon baby. Just let go. I’m right behind you, I just need you to cum for me. Please baby.’ You couldn’t hold back any more, the visual satisfaction of watching his immense body flexing behind yours, the feeling of fullness he gave you with every thrust, the heated breath against your ear were all too much.

You screamed for him as you came, your voice hoarse and strangled through the pleasure, your velvet warm cunt clenching around him, pulling him in deeper, milking him for every drop as he cradled your body against his. You felt him thrust, slow and shallow as he filled you, groaning into your ear.

‘Oh Sweetheart, I think I’m going to like having you up here.’ A barely there laugh escaped your lips as he pulled you back down to the bed, curling his body against you, his cock remained inside of you, slowly softening as your breathing calmed down, sleep gently calling you despite the early hour.

You didn’t know how long you lay there with him, his fingers gently tracing the smooth planes of your stomach, his mind seemingly miles away. Eventually you felt him shift behind you, pulling out as he crossed to the dresser, pulling on a clean pair of boxers and handing you a shirt.

‘C’mon Doll, get up. We gotta talk.’ Your mind was foggy as you obediently followed him from the room, heading back downstairs and turning left to what looked like his lounge room. He pointed you to the couch and stood above you, his shadow looming over your body.

‘What’s going on Steve? You seem tense.’ You tried to reach for him but he stepped out of your grip, his brow furrowed.

‘Nothing’s wrong per se Sweetheart. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page about this, about you coming upstairs.’ You swallowed thickly, hoping he wasn’t about to send you back down to the basement again. ‘You’ve been behaving so well lately and I just want that to continue. I want us to continue living the best life we can but I think we need to lay down some ground rules. Most of them will be pretty straight forward or rules that you have already been following for some time such as no shouting or fighting. I’m taking a huge risk bringing you upstairs so soon, but it’s because I trust you to behave and I would hate for you to make a silly mistake that would dismantle everything we’ve built together.’

You nodded, understanding his words, the veiled threat of what would happen if you disobeyed. Your hand reached out, latching onto his own as you tried to pull him towards you. ‘I understand Stevie, I know how much you’ve done for me. I don’t want to do anything to ruin that.’ He clasped your hands in his, his eyes searching yours for deceit as your sweet words washed over him.

‘Thank you Sweetheart, you don’t know how much it means to me that you realise I am on your side. I’m only trying to help you.’ A frown threatened to cross your face, diminishing the demure facade. He’s on your side? He was the reason you were here, trapped as his partner, as he referred to you as so often. You swallowed back the bitter taste his words left in your mouth and he knelt before you, letting go and reaching to clasp your face in them, bringing your bodies closer, him in between your legs.

He leaned back, pulling you with him so you straddled his chest on the floor, his back resting on the soft carpet as his hands clawed at your body, trying to pry his shirt from your body. The bulge he moved your hips against was evidence of just how eager he was to go again already and while your body may have been itching to have him fill you again, your mind was less certain.

As though your prayers had finally been heard, a faint ding resounded through the house, causing Steve to halt as he fondled your breasts, pulling back as he turned his head towards the hallway.

Gently, he lifted you off of him, handing back his shirt and you were quick to cover yourself with it. ‘Sweetheart… I need you to stay here okay? You can’t make a sound until I say you can. If you so much as think about trying anything, there will be severe punishment.’ His threats echoed around your head as the doorbell rang again. ‘I need you to say you understand Sweetheart, I need you to promise me.’

Fear crawled it’s way through you as you nodded, your voice small and weak as you replied. ‘I understand. I won’t move or make any noise.’

‘Good. I’ll be back soon.’ His lips pressed against you forehead and he cast you one last warning glance before heading out of the room as the ding sounded again. ‘Christ, I’m coming okay?’ He called out in annoyance to whoever stood on the other side of the door.

You could hear the door click open and faint male voices but nothing else was audible from this distance and so you sat back on the couch, too afraid to do anything else. This is probably a test of some sort. He wants to know if he can trust you being upstairs. If this were really a test, you were determined to pass with flying colours, you weren’t willing to risk being back down to the basement so soon.

+

Steve pulled open the door, his mind too preoccupied with you being left alone upstairs to remember to look through the peephole. The great wooden door gave way to the one person that Steve could trust right now and relief flowed through him, anyone else might not have understood.

‘Buck, man am I glad it’s just you.’ Steve pulled the other man into a hug, tapping his back before leading him back outside, closing the door slightly behind him.

‘What’s going on Steve? Why are you so stressed? What have you done?’ Bucky’s blue eyes narrowed at his best friend as he thought back to the girl stuck in his basement. Whatever was going on must have something to do with her.

‘It’s nothing Buck, definitely nothing bad… yet. We’re just trying something new, I want her to move upstairs with me and it’s only been a day and she’s all alone and everything is locked and I know she’ll be fine but… I just don’t want her to ruin everything we’ve built, I just want to make sure she’s ready for this much trust.’ Even as he spoke Steve’s eyes were farting around his front yard as though looking for her, trying to see if she had somehow found a way out of the house. ‘But what are you doing here? Is everything okay?’

‘That’s good Stevie. I’m glad she’s out of that basement and I just came to check on you, on her, see how everything’s going.’

‘It’s going fine and as you can see now’s not really a good time so I’ll see you later okay?’ Steve already started backing towards the door, eager to get back inside, to you, to where you had left off when the doorbell rang.

‘I’m leaving… on Wednesday, for Wakanda and I’m busy between now and then. I want to meet her Steve.’ Bucky watched as Steve swallowed heavily, analysing him momentarily before finally nodding.

‘Fine, I guess we could use it as a test. See if she’s ready to meet the others too. Promise you’ll tell me everything she says?’

‘I can’t promise that pal… but I promise I’ll you if you have to worry.’ Steve clenched his jaw as he appraised Bucky’s offer before accepting.

‘Just, give me a minute to get her ready, I’m pretty sure she’s not decent right now.’ Steve hated the smirk that came over his best friends face at his words.

‘What? Did I interrupt something?’ Bucky’s voice was full of mirth and humour as Steve rolled his eyes and pushed the door back open, praying that he hadn’t made a mistake leaving you alone so soon.

+

You watched as Steve returned to the living room, his head peeking through the doorway first as if he were afraid of what he would find. Yet as he saw you sitting patiently on the couch, the smile that came over his face made him look nothing less than angelic.

‘I’m sorry about that Sweetheart, but I promise we can continue later. Now that you’re upstairs I plan on taking you on every surface in our home.’ Your insides fluttered at his words as he crossed to you, gathering one of your hands and pulling your body up to his, wrapping his arms around you as he kissed you deeply.

Before it could get too heated, he pulled back, pressing his lips to yours softly once more before pulling away completely, your hands clasped in his. ‘C’mon Sweetheart, we need to go downstairs.’ 

Your face paled, your heels instantly trying to find a grip on the soft carpet as you tried to hold your ground, your body pulling back on his. ‘Stevie no, please! I behaved, I didn’t move or make any sound. Please don’t take me back down there!’ Your voice rang with desperation as you pleased with him, clutching his arm, tears of panic threading to spill. Even though you had only been upstairs a short amount of time, the thought of going back to the basement was enough to make you feel sick.

‘What?’ Turning back you saw the realisation wash over Steve’s face as he saw you again, instantly trying to calm you down. ‘Sweetheart no, it’s not like that. I know you behaved and I feel so proud of you. We just have a guest and all of your clothes are still downstairs. I figured you wouldn’t want to meet my best friend looking like this.’ You glanced down at your scantily clad body, the only thing covering you one of Steve’s shirts and a pair of lace panties.

‘No, I don’t. I’m sorry Steve, I just… I just thought you were taking me back down there.’ Your eyes started drying as he held you, soothing you slowly.

‘I understand Sweetheart, I should have said something, made myself clear.’ Relief flowed through you as he once again started leading you down the hallway, towards the basement door. You were still hesitant about going back down there but you trusted that Steve was a man of his word, he had never once lied to you since locking you down there.

It was eerie walking down into your former rooms even though so little time had passed. You now had hope, before you had been resigned to a life trapped down here but now he had taken you upstairs, was willing to introduce you to other people.

‘I think Bucky’ll like the white one, you know, with the blue trim?’ You nodded your head, crossing to the wardrobe and pulling the dress he was talking about from the hanger. It was more traditional than the rest, that type of almost schoolgirl design that had been popular back in the forties.

‘Yes, I think this is a good choice.’ You smiled at Steve across the room before slipped his shirt off and selecting a satin brassier to go underneath the dress. You didn’t have any time to do anything to your hair other than try to somewhat tame it, to make it not completely look like you had just had sex. You pulled the silken stockings and matching blue kitten heels Steve handed you as he spoke.

‘Now Doll, I don’t want to see any funny business up there. I’m trusting you a lot, allowing you to have visitors this soon and I don’t want to see that trust go to waste. So, you will be polite, and nice, and you won’t mention anything bad to him. Do I have to clarify what I mean or do you understand me?’ His voice was stern, causing you to look up at him from the blue heels.

‘No Stevie. I understand. I will be the perfect hostess.’

He smiled briefly, murmuring to himself. ‘The perfect hostess.’ He definitely seemed to like that idea. ‘Good, come along. He’s waiting upstairs.’ Steve held out his hand for you to take and you linked your fingers with his, allowing him to lead you from the basement to the front door.

As he opened the large mahogany door, your eyes took a moment to adjust, the harsh sunlight stinging your eyes as you blinked. From all of your time down in the basement you had forgotten how warm the sun was, how a gentle breeze could run through your hair, making it fly around your face. You were too startled by the outside world to hear Steve or even pay the stranger any attention and when Steve pulled you back from the door, swinging it closed gently you found liquid pooling in your eyes.

It was only the not-so-gentle squeeze of Steve’s hand that brought you back, reminded you of what was at stake, and hastily you tried to blink away the tears, plastering a smile onto your face as you took in the man before you. If you hadn’t been so used to Steve and his impressive physique, you may have been intimidated by the man’s large build but as it stands, it was his eyes that intimidated you the most. They were slightly lighter than Steve’s more of a crystal blue, the dress Steve had picked out for you making more sense as you realised the colours must have matched nearly perfectly yet you couldn’t be sure as he was squinting, analysing you. It felt as though he could read your soul in just one look and you weren’t sure if he liked what he found.

You were snapped from your rumination by Steve’s strong voice. ‘Sweetheart, this is Bucky. He is my oldest friend; my best friend. And of course, Buck, you already know my girl.’ He already knew you? Grabbing his outstretched hand as Steve introduced him, you realised he must have been the friend that came to visit a little while ago, that just left you down in the basement with Steve. You wouldn’t find an ally in this man.

You plastered your most gracious smile on, shaking his hand. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’ You barely heard his ‘likewise’ as Steve led you both into the lounge room, Bucky taking a seat where you had just been sitting, his shoes on the soft carpet where you had been on Steve. You forced yourself to look away as you say in the loveseat across from him, your mind spinning as Steve retreated to the kitchen for coffee and tea.

‘So… How are you?’ Bucky’s voice was rougher than you expected, lower too.

‘I’m good.’ Your response was clipped, edgy. You didn’t like being alone with him, you just wanted Steve back; wanted him to hold you and ensure you everything was fine. It hadn’t been until this moment that you realised just how much you had come to rely on your golden soldier.

‘How is he treating you?’ A scoff died in your throat as you tried to hold your composure, determined to pass this test.

‘He’s great.’ Your leg was jittering on the couch, your fingers dancing over the white skirt of your dress. ‘I’m happy.’ You threw that in for good measure and prayed that he would stop trying to talk to you. What could be taking Steve so long?

Bucky stewed as he analysed you. He didn’t need to be a former assassin to notice you were clearly nervous, your clipped answers, flickering eyes lingering on the hallway for too long but never glancing his way told him all he needed to know. You were scared, but not of Steve.

In fact, the moment he returned, taking the seat next to you, Bucky noticed a drastic shift in your manner. Your hand automatically sought out Steve’s, linking your fingers together while the other clutched the warm tea to your chest. Your breaths were more even, your leg less jittery as it pressed against Steve’s instead.

An almost unrecognisable pang hit Bucky in the chest as he watched you find solace in his best friend. If only Hydra hadn’t fucked him up so irreparably…

+

Steve clapped Bucky on the back, bidding him goodnight beside his car. ‘So? What did you think?’ Despite his heart already belonging to you, Steve still wanted Bucky’s approval, he wanted him to love you almost as much as he did himself, after all Bucky was the only family he had left.

‘She’s fantastic Steve, everything guys like us could have ever asked for growing up.’ A sigh of relief permeated the air as Bucky spoke, Steve’s breaths becoming lighter yet he could tell something was still plaguing his mind.

‘I’m so glad you approve… but… you don’t think what I’ve done, what I’ve put her through to get here is… irreparable? I just… I love her and I guess what I’m trying to say… Do you think that one day, maybe, she could love me too?’

An achingly long silence stretched between the two men, one lost in agony, the other in jealousy. It was finally broken when Bucky cleared his throat as he tried to clear his mind. ‘You still don’t know a thing about women. While she may not necessarily be at the love stage yet, and while what you did was beyond fucked up, she clearly cares for you. When you were gone, making the coffee in the kitchen, she was a wreck but the moment you came back, it was like she was a whole different person. She became chatty and bubbly under your guidance and then again when you were preparing dinner, it wasn’t so bad but she still shut down slightly, retreating back into herself. She needs you, she relies on you to keep her safe, to protect her, to know her. You two, you’re going to be just fine.’ He forced a smile as Steve took his words in, his shoulders slumping, his tense stance deflating.

‘Thank you Bucky, you have no idea just how much that means to me.’

‘I think I just might pal.’ With one final goodbye, Bucky got into his car, pulling out of the driveway of the suburban two story.

If only…

+

Steve watched as Bucky left, the red haze of his taillights slowly disappearing down the street along with Steve’s anxiety.

Just maybe everything would be okay.

Of course, just like usual Steve had thought too soon as a vibrating from his pocket pulled him from his thoughts. He only paused to stare at the caller ID for a second before answering, wondering what on earth Tony Stark needed.

+


	13. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Mentions of death and hyperventilating.

XIII. The Mission

Bucky had barely even gotten halfway back to the flat he shared with Sam when he got Steve’s call. The screech of tires rang through the New York City streets as he rushed into a U-turn, immediately heading back the way he had just come. The short, less than a minute long, conversation he had just had with Steve replayed in his mind on a loop. 

How the fuck had they missed this?

Bucky blamed it on the fact he had been at Steve’s, out in the suburbs nearly all day because there was no other logical explanation of how they could have missed a flying doughnut in the middle of New York City. He thumped the wheel in frustration. Maybe if he hadn’t been so lost in playing house Tony would still be here, that kid would still be here. 

As he approached the house, he saw Steve out in the driveway, waiting for him. ‘Wheels up is in twenty, I just need five minutes to go talk to her and then if you could drive me out to the hanger that would be great.’ 

Bucky followed him numbly into the house, lost in a daze. ‘Yeah sure, whatever you want. I just… I just don’t understand why I’m not going.’ 

‘Because, the team needs me and I need you here Buck, I need you here with her. Not only do I need you to look after her but I won’t be able to do my job, not until I’m a hundred percent positive that she’s safe.’

‘She’ll be safe with Banner. You need me on this Steve, we have no idea what we’re going up against.’ Bucky tried to argue despite knowing how futile it was. When Steve made his mind up about something, it stayed that way. 

‘She doesn’t know Banner and Banner doesn’t know her. Plus, I know she’ll be safest with you. Please Buck, I really need this. You know I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.’ Bucky sighed, running a hand through his tangled locks. 

‘Yeah okay, I’ll babysit her for you. Just get home safe Punk.’ 

‘You know I will Jerk, especially now that I have someone to come home to.’ Bucky’s heart clenched as he watched Steve turn, darting up the stairs to his room, a sinking feeling settling in his chest.

+

You stirred as you felt someone shaking you gently, heard them softly calling your name, ushering you back into the realm of consciousness. 

‘Sweetheart, open your eyes. I don’t have long and we need to talk.’ Your eyelids fluttered open at the worry you detected in Steve’s tone, your head groggy from being awoken so soon after retiring for bed. 

‘Did Bucky go home? I’m sorry I had to come upstairs, I was just so tired. It’s been a big day.’ The words escaped you in a yawn, your mind still half asleep.

‘That’s okay Sweetheart, I know you’re tired and after we talk, I promise you can go back to bed.’ You jolted further awake, whatever was happening had obviously made Steve very stressed. 

‘What’s going on Stevie? Why are you… Why are you packing a bag?’ You hadn’t noticed his frantic movements until this moment as you were transfixed on the small duffle bag that was slowly being filled with his belongings.

‘I have to go out of town for a few days. Three days max but probably only two. Bucky is going to be looking after you while I’m gone okay? And then, when the mission’s complete, I’ll come right back home.’ He momentarily paused his packing, coming back to the bed to cup your cheek in his palm. ‘I’ll miss you so much and I’ll be home as soon as possible but I need you to be a good girl for me. Do you think you can do that? Do you think you can behave for Bucky?’

You shook your head with fervor, ‘No, no, no, no. I don’t… I don’t understand. Why are you going? Where are you going? You can’t leave me Steve, you can’t. I need you. I know that I haven’t been the best behaved but I thought… I thought we were okay. Why are you leaving me?’ Panic heaved through your body as you clutched at him, trying to force him to stay with you. 

‘I’m not leaving you Sweetheart. It’s just for a few days, I need to get in touch with some old friends and after that I’ll be right back here with you. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.’ You hadn’t noticed the tears spilling from your cheeks until he brushed them away with his lips, kissing you softly, longingly, lovingly. 

‘Everything is going to be okay Sweetheart. Bucky will look after you while I’m gone but you need to behave for him, promise me you will.’

You nodded, still not quite understanding why he was leaving. ‘I promise Stevie.’ His hands clutched yours, his eyes dancing around your face, memorising you before he picked up his bag.

‘I-’ He cut himself off, gazing out the open door. ‘I’ll miss you Sweetheart, behave.’ 

You nodded, clutching the sheets to your chest. ‘I’ll miss you too Stevie.’ He spared you one last longing glance before disappearing out the door, the thunk of the front door swinging shut echoed through the silent house a few moments later. 

+

You watched as the sun rose, the sky slowly lightening turning from midnight blue to a soft and hazy cornflower and then eventually a grey-ish baby blue. The streaks of pink and orange coloured the sky just as the streaks of your tears covered your cheeks, darkening the soft grey sheets. 

Only when you were certain that Bucky was awake did you finally slip from your silken prison, your feet padding over the soft carpet to the bathroom, your hands numbly twisting the cold metal taps. You relished in the warmth the water gave you, and if you tried hard enough, you could almost imagine he was here with you. All night long sleep had been evasive, the bed too cold, too unfamiliar without Steve lying by your side and now you were paying for your dependency. 

You stayed in the shower for far too long but no one was there to bother you or tell you to get out, so you allowed yourself this one reprieve. It was only once you got out of the scalding hot water, your entire body burning from the heat that you realised your mistake. Just as it had been yesterday, your clothes were still downstairs, locked away in the basement and without Steve with you, you had no way of getting to them. You supposed his clothes would just have to do. 

Dressed in a bottle green t-shirt and a pair of soft grey trackies rolled up more times than you could count, you made your way out of the room. You paused at the top of the stairs as you saw a door ajar. It had certainly been closed yesterday when Steve had taken you to your new bedroom. Softly, you crept over to the room, promising yourself and Steve - despite his absence - that you would only poke your head in before going down stairs to Bucky. Yet, as you approached, the promise flew from your mind, replaced with thousands of burning questions. 

The room in question was clearly a guest bedroom, a calming blue motif, echoing your lonely night of staring out the window. However it wasn’t the room itself that made you pause, but the man inside. His back was to you, glistening with water from his own shower, and your eyes widened as you noticed the soft pink scars that stemmed like tree roots from his left shoulder. From his visit yesterday, you knew that he had some form of metal prosthetic yet you hadn’t realised the metal extended up past his wrist to his shoulder. Whatever had happened to him clearly wasn’t a child friendly story. 

You stumbled back from your perch behind the door as he suddenly whipped around, his eyes meeting yours. ‘I- Sorry. I was just… I didn’t know what this room was. I’m sorry.’ Your gaze was locked on your hands, twisting nervously in front of you as you saw him pull a shirt on hastily. 

‘It’s okay, this is just the guest room, I’m going to be staying in there until Steve gets back. Do you want some breakfast?’ You nodded softly and followed him as he led the way downstairs, heading into the kitchen. ‘What would you like Doll?’

You glanced around the room, taking a seat at the island bench. ‘Just some toast please.’ 

He raised his eyebrows. ‘You sure? I can whip you up some eggs, bacon too.’

‘No thanks, just toast is fine… I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything anyway.’ 

He nodded pensively pausing slightly before speaking again. ‘You miss him already.’ The click of the toaster being pushed down screamed into the silence as you thought on his words. It was true. It had barely been twelve hours yet you did miss Steve, the bags beneath your eyes a clear enough indication. 

‘Yeah I do, but it’s not just that. I’m worried. Why did he have to leave so suddenly? Why did he leave me here with you? Please don’t take that the wrong way, I just don’t understand what’s going on.’ The words poured from you uncontrollably as you let out the questions that had swirled around in your head all night. 

‘It’s okay I get it. Personally I don’t really understand why he left me here with you either but that’s just Steve. He always has to be the hero.’ Bucky seemed lost in his memories, only to be brought back by the toast popping and he moved off, gathering a plate and some spreads for you. 

As you started spreading the raspberry jam, he began speaking again. ‘Apparently yesterday, while we were busy catching up and getting to know one another, a spacecraft came down to Earth. Tony, Bruce, and the kid, Peter, and some wizard or something tried to deal with the situation but these people, they were after the time stone.’ 

‘The time stone?’ 

‘Yeah, I don’t really understand it myself but according to Bruce and the wizard there are six stones, apparently called the Infinity Stones. And there’s this guy, Thanos, who is trying to track down all six stones which will allow him to eliminate half of the human population and he already has two of them, three if we count the fact that he has Strange now - he’s the wizard who holds the time stone.’ You didn’t understand a word of what he was saying but one clear message was coming across in screaming bold letters. The world was in danger. 

‘And so Steve has gone to get the Vision, he’s one of us but… well again I don’t really understand it because I wasn’t there for it, but apparently he somehow has the mind stone embedded in his brain and so we have to make sure he’s safe from Thanos. I’m not sure what the endgame is but- hey, hey, hey, don’t cry. It’s okay, you’re going to be fine. We’ll all protect you.’ He awkwardly patted your shoulder, trying to calm you down as you began to hyperventilate. It was just like the last time you were in New York. 

When your breaths didn’t slow, he pulled you into his chest, wrapping you up in his warm embrace, whispering words of comfort. If you tried hard enough you could convince yourself that his large and incredibly warm body was Steve’s and that it was him soothingly rubbing your back. ‘Shhh… shhh Doll. You’re going to be fine, I promise.’ 

Minutes passed before you could pull yourself together enough to disentangle yourself from his embrace, because while he was comforting you, he wasn’t Steve, the one person you longed to see now more than anything. 

A silence stretched over the kitchen as you poked at your toast that had grown cold but you didn’t mind, your appetite had vanished, not that you had much of one in the first place. ‘Thank you Bucky for comforting me, I just… I just don’t have the best experience with New York and now Steve’s gone and I just don’t know what to do.’

‘I understand Doll, Steve told me about what happened but you’re safe here with me and when Steve gets back from his mission you’ll be safe with him. There’s nowhere in the world where you would be safer, I can promise you that.’ You nodded accepting his words but finding it hard to trust them. ‘Hey, why don’t we play a game or something to take your mind off of things? I know Steve at least has a deck of cards lying around here somewhere.’ You forced yourself to smile, graciously accepting his offer as you followed after him, searching through the house for a deck of cards. 

+

The day has passed slowly despite Bucky trying his best to keep you distracted. Even though he tried to hide it, you caught him nervously glancing at his phone multiple times, checking to see if there was an update. Eventually the sun had started to dip below the horizon, the sky fading from a clear blue to an orange-purple haze and eventually darkening to a gentle twilight. 

Bucky had made dinner, some chilli con carne that made you feel a little homesick for Madrid but you appreciated the thought. He had brought out some wine too that you had gladly helped yourself to. Perhaps a little too much considering how long it had been since your last drink but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The alcohol alleviated your pain and worry with every glass so it wasn’t surprising that by the end of the meal the bottle was empty. You were tempted to try and persuade Bucky to get another but your slurred words didn’t help your case. Instead he had sent you to bed, making a show of how tired he was himself and mentioning numerous times how Steve would want you to look after yourself. 

Although the alcohol had helped while you were awake, when you finally drifted off to sleep it was another matter entirely. Bucky’s words from earlier in the day haunted you, conjuring up memories that had long since been forgotten of a heavy weight pressing against your body, pinning you down onto the hard tarmac, the screams of unseen civilians, the blood of those that hadn’t been quick enough. And Steve. 

Steve being beaten by numerous aliens, his shield lay discarded, broken in two by your face as he fought defenselessly. You tried to warn him, tried to scream at him as one of the Chitauri crept up behind him, its’ scepter in its hand, ready to deliver a fatal blow. You could only watch in horror as Steve fell, a gaping hole in his chest right over his heart, the life fading from his eyes as the Chitauri cheered in victory. 

+

Bucky heard the sobs first, uncertainty as to what to do crawling through him. Although you had spent the day together, he wasn’t sure where he stood with you, whether or not you would appreciate him coming in and trying to comfort you. He also didn’t want to overstep with Steve, he knew that you were his girl and that a bedroom was a very private place, so he did nothing, merely sat out in the hallway listening to you cry. 

It was only when he heard the screams that he realised you must have been asleep, suffering from a nightmare. Considering everything that he himself had gone through, he could understand just how terrifying they could be so he didn’t hesitate before standing up and rushing into your room. He watched for a moment as your body writhed on the bed, unsure of how to proceed. Personally for him, he had to be woken up from a distance, the light turned on and someone calling his name otherwise things could turn very bad very quickly, but he doubted that would be an issue for you. 

Instead, he softly padded over to you, gently pressing a hand against your shoulder, shaking you softly as he called your name. He watched as you slowly came out of it, your screams ceasing before your eyes slowly fluttered open. ‘Bucky? What’s going on?’ Your voice was hoarse from the screaming and his heart hurt as he saw you so broken. 

‘Shhh… It’s okay Doll, you were just having a nightmare. It’s okay, Steve’s okay.’ You nodded as he handed you a tissue to wipe your tears with. 

Bucky waited until he thought you had calmed down enough before he made to stand up from the bed, his own calling to him like a siren. When he got to the door he heard you softly call his name. ‘Bucky?’

Turning back around, one hand on the door handle, he waited to hear what you needed. ‘Could you stay? Please?’ A rampage of emotions flowed through him as he processed your question. On one hand there was nothing he wanted more but on the other hand he knew that was the exact reason why he shouldn’t. Yet finally, the memory of Steve making him promise to look after his girl surfaced, making his mind up for him and so he nodded, shedding his shoes and pants, crawling into the silken sheets, his heart racing as you curled into him, pressing your body against his. ‘Thank you.’ He couldn’t respond as he felt your heart rate calm down, your breaths slowing, becoming deeper as you fell into a slumber. 

His heart ached as he stared up at the ceiling, his arms wrapped around you. He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t because he wanted you to be his, just that he wanted someone and the way that your body curled against his, despite seeing just how torn and broken he was, gave him hope that maybe, one day, he would find his someone.

Eventually, his eyes drifting shut as his breathing matched yours, a faceless woman dancing through his dreams. 

+

You were awoken by the shrill of a ringtone, screaming into the silent bedroom, a groan escaping you as the warm body beneath yours moved, leaving the bed in search for the culprit. Through your shut eyes you listened in on the conversation absentmindedly, stretching your body as you tried to wake your mind up. 

‘Steve, hey. What happened, how’s Wanda and the Vision?’ You couldn’t hear Steve’s response, but you could almost feel the tension build in Bucky as a long silence stretched before he responded. ‘Are you sure that’s the best idea?’ You waited again and heard Bucky sigh. ‘Yeah okay, I’ll go wake her up and pack a bag. We’ll meet you at headquarters.’ He hung up and turned to you, poking you gently in the cheek. ‘I know you’re up Doll, we have to go.’ That was enough for you to instantly open your eyes, searching his. 

‘What? Where are we going?’

Bucky’s lips pursed as he answered, his brow furrowed in thought. 

‘Wakanda.’

+


	14. The Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Smut and I don’t think there’s much else…

XIV. The Reunion  
Steve stood staring up at the sky, his jaw a little slack as the spear in his hand was beamed up, flying out of his hand as it followed the two foes. They stood, regaining their breath for some time in silence. No matter how short the fight had been, the opposing side had clearly been taught how to fight by someone skilled. 

‘C’mon guys, we should head back to the jet, we need to get the Vision to Banner, figure out if he can get the mind stone out of him.’ Steve nodded to Sam’s words absentmindedly, his gaze still fixed on the sky, no longer staring at where the alien ship had been but instead on the stars, on how bright they seemed to shine, reminding him a little bit of nights he would spend with Bucky, staying out far later than they should, walking the streets of New York. He hadn’t had a night like that in over seventy years.

‘Steve, come on.’ This time it was Nat trying to pull him from his daze and so he regrettably turned his back on the night sky and followed the others back to the jet that had luckily been parked nearby. 

It was only back on the jet when the lecture began, Natasha closing the bay door and turning to face Wanda. ‘I thought we had a deal. Stay close, check in. Don’t take any chances.’ Wanda’s eyes dipped to her fingers linked with Vision’s, a mix of guilt and shame running through her. 

‘We just wanted time.’ Her words resonated with Steve and he knew that if you and he were in her situation, he would have done the exact same thing. He just wanted all the time with you that he could get. 

‘Where to Cap?’ A swirl of emotions raised up in him, on one hand all he wanted was to get back to New York and to see your face, but on the other hand, he knew he had to do what was best for the team, the world even. 

He knew he was being ridiculous as Bucky would obviously bring you to the compound, but he just wanted to be able to spend the night with you in his own bed before the world was turned on its head. ‘Take us to the compound Sam, I’ll get Bucky and Banner to meet us there.’

‘You sure about that Cap? Ross will probably be there.’

Steve shook his head, scoffing at the idea. ‘No, he’ll probably be in Washington, hiding in some little bunker, trying to get Rhodey to do his dirty work for him.’

Sam nodded, recognising the truth in his words and powered up the quinjet as Steve pulled out his phone. He needed to call Bucky. 

+

You barely had time to register what Bucky had said before he sprung into action, heading into Steve’s closet and pulling another small duffel bag from inside. ‘Where are your clothes?’ His voice was rough, demanding, and in your current state funding the words he wanted to hear was too much. 

‘They’re downstairs, in the basement. Steve and I-’ it hurt just talking about him, especially when - no matter how innocently- you had just been in bed with his best friend. Guilt swirled in your stomach at the thought. ‘We hadn’t gotten around to moving them upstairs yet.’ Now you questioned whether you would ever be moving them up. 

‘Shit. I can’t get down there, his will just have to do.’ With that Bucky started rifling through Steve’s draws, pulling out the smallest t-shirts he could find. They would inevitably still be far too large for you but you would survive. You recoiled as Bucky chucked a dark blue one at you and the grey trackies you had been wearing earlier before leaving the room. Hastily you changed tops, and pulled the soft pants on, hating how long it had been since you had clean underwear. 

When you were done, you met Bucky on the landing, his own small go-bag over his shoulder and yours in his hand. ‘C’mon, we have to go.’ He grabbed your hand, leading you downstairs and to the front door. You didn’t have time to appreciate the morning sun shining in your eyes, warming your skin, before Bucky led you to a lithe black car. He let go of your hand only to open the boot, chucking the two small bags in before pulling you to the passenger door and holding it open for you. 

You watched as he shut the door behind you and raced around the car, getting in the driver’s seat, checking a text on his phone, a frown setting in on his face. ‘We need to make a stop before we go to the compound.’

‘A stop?’

‘Yeah, I need to pick up a friend.’ Bucky didn’t offer anything else before he put the car into drive and sped off, ignoring the speed limit of every street he drove down. 

+

The friend Bucky had needed to pick up turned out to be Dr Banner. Although you had never met, riding in a confined space with the man who had single handedly brought down most of 27th street five years ago previously had you anxious. Yet as you watched the doctor from the rearview mirror, you realised if anything, he seemed far more anxious than you felt. 

Bucky had been so impossible to read but seeing one of the most powerful avengers, so incredibly worried had you stressed, fearing that the situation was far worse than Bucky had let on. The ride was silent for the most part, barely a word was uttered apart from the brief conversation Bucky and Bruce had about people and places you had no idea about. You stared out the window, watching as the suburban houses drifted further apart, acres of woods popping up as you left the city limits, nearing the infamous Avenger’s Compound. 

You had no idea what to expect as the car pulled to a stop in front of the large structure, your mouth gaping as you took it all in, so consumed by the building that you barely noticed Bucky opening the door for you, grabbing your hand as he led you to the man, guarding the large double doors. 

‘Rhodey.’ Even in your daze you could feel the tension between the two men. 

‘Sergeant Barnes. You do know I have orders to arrest you on sight.’ 

‘Yeah, but you know that I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t urgent.’ The man you assumed to be Rhodey nodded, his eyes flickering to your hand entwined with Bucky’s briefly before drifting over to Bruce. 

‘C’mon in, I’m meant to be having a call with Secretary Ross in five minutes and you should be out of the way for that.’ Bucky nodded his thanks and pulled you along behind him.

Rhodey set you all up in spare bedrooms as you waited, both for the conference call to end and for Steve to return. His eyebrows had shot up when Bucky had recommended you stay in Steve’s old room, not understanding but you had been grateful at the suggestion even though it felt more like a mausoleum than a place of comfort. 

Bucky had left you to take a shower in his spare bedroom just down the hall and you curiously wandered through Steve’s belongings. It was clear that it had been a long time since anyone had been in the room and that Steve clearly hadn’t expected to have been gone for so long whenever he last left the quaint room. But of all his haphazardly discarded belongings, it was a sketchbook and set of charcoal pencils that lay on his desk, almost completely covered by manilla folders that drew your attention. 

Flicking through the heavy pages, you had no idea that Steve had been an artist, he was so clearly talented and for the first time, you wondered what his parents had been like, did his ability come from them? Would his own children be able to capture the New York city skyline so beautifully? 

The subjects of his drawings changed from page to page, sometimes a lifelike drawing of one of his team members danced along the paper, other times it was simple everyday objects like a pair of boxing gloves or a vase of flowers. 

It was only after several minutes of admiring his work that you came across the first drawing of you. You recognised the scene, it was hard not to especially since it had plagued your mind for so long. It was the first time you had met, from his point of view. You looked so helpless on the page, your body covered by the heavy car, glass lying all around you and hastily, you turned the page only to be greeted by another drawing of you, this time of your naked body a sheet covering very little. Every page from then on was similar, they were all coated in drawings of you, sometimes a close up of your face, your eyes, your lips. 

You dropped the sketchbook, nearly tumbling over your own feet as you stepped backwards, mentally doing the math in your mind. Vienna had happened a year ago, nearly two, and you knew after that Steve and his team had had to go awol for refusing to sign the accords. For a sketchbook filled with drawings of you to be lying on a desk in an untouched room made you wonder just how long he had been watching you for. 

+

The minute the jet touched down Steve was jumping from the barely open bay doors, hastily walking across the smooth lawn of the compound. A feeling of homesickness crept over him, longing for the days before the accords when he had been welcome here, when he had truly felt at home. It had been a long two years but the past few minutes hadn’t seemed that bad, not when he had you waiting at home for him. 

As he approached the commons area he saw Rhodey in mid-conversation with Secretary Ross and the rest of his cronies. Steve didn’t have the time or the patience to deal with him right now but he also knew he had to play along for the time being, until he could get back to you. 

‘The world’s on fire and you think all is forgiven?’ Secretary Ross’s hologram mocked him as the rest of the team filed into the briefing room and Steve could barely refrain himself from rolling his eyes at Ross’ incomprehensible pride as he refused to admit just how much he needed the former Avengers right now. 

‘I’m not looking for forgiveness and I’m way past asking permission.’ He stepped forward, going toe to toe with Ross’ hologram. ‘Earth just lost her best defender so we’re here to fight. And if you want to stand in our way, we’ll fight you too.’ A brief silence filled the room, everyone seeming to hold their breath, waiting to see whether Ross would swallow his pride.

‘Arrest them.’ His words were brusk as he turned away, heading back to the table, leaving Steve unsurprised.

‘All over it.’ Rhodey nodded, cutting off the call, remaining perfectly still even as the official court martial came through.

‘That’s the court martial. It’s great to see you Cap.’ He stepped forward, clasping Steve’s hand in his own, a smile clear on both men’s faces. 

‘You too Rhodey.’

‘She’s here, Bucky put her in your room.’ Steve nodded, thanking the other man for recognising all he wanted to do right now was see you. He knew the rest of the team was confused, not understanding why Steve had been so impatient to get back, but he would explain later, the flight to Wakanda would take a while. 

The walk through the calming blue hallways filled him with nostalgia as he arrived at his old living quarters. It was set up just as it had been that day he found Bucky and his life had been flipped upside down. There were only minute differences that clearly you had caused, a small duffle bag on his bed, filled with clothes from the house and his sketchbook open on the desk. With a pang, he realised it was open to his drawings of you, meaning that you would have questions. 

The shower was running and being unable to help himself, Steve shed his suit, opening the door and letting some steam come out. Your back was to him as he pulled on the glass door of the shower, his hands wrapping around you, pulling you back against his chest. You screamed as he did so, struggling against his hold but when you twisted around, realising that it was only him, you immediately calmed in his hands, wrapping your own around his shoulders. 

‘Steve! When did you get back?’ Your hands cupped his face, a broad smile on your own as you took him in, thankful that he was finally back.

‘Five minute ago, I just needed to come see you; to come have you before we leave.’

‘Leave? For where?’ 

‘I’ll explain later.’ You nodded, letting his hands trace over your wet skin, down between your legs, swirling in the slick they found there. He pressed himself against your ass, pushing your front against the glass walls. Even though he had barely been gone for two days, you had missed him terribly, your body even more so. He barely needed to brush his fingers over you before your entire body was quivering, desperate for the release he offered. 

Steve didn’t let you cum though, as soon as he could sense the oncoming flutter of your walls, he withdrew, instead guiding his length to your entrance and pushing in, with one forceful thrust. 

‘Fuck, Sweetheart. You have no idea how much I missed you.’ He moaned into your ear, your wet skin slapping together as he moved with a ferocity you hadn’t seen before. His hands reached up, wrapping themselves around each of your wrists and trapping them on either side of your head as his hips flexed, pushing as deep as he possibly could. 

You shuddered against him, your breath fogging up the clear glass as the water heated up even further, seeming to adjust itself to the situation. With each thrust of his hips you feared the glass would break beneath you as the coil inside tightened even further. ‘St-Steve.’ You moaned his name into the fog, feeling the familiar desperation for release. 

‘Please Stevie… Please, I need to - I need to cum.’ A delirious state of mind overtook you, the ability to form coherent sentences gone. 

‘Go on then Sweetheart. Cum for me, milk my cock baby.’ A series of moans escaped your lips as your body obeyed him, a rush flowing through your down to your toes, slipping against the cool ceramic floor. ‘Oh fuck Sweetheart, you’re so good to me.’ You barely had a chance to let out a hazy smile against the glass before he had flipped you around, instantly wrapping his arms underneath your thighs and hitching you up his body, entering you in another second. ‘You look so good like this, dripping wet with a fucked out expression.’ 

The back of your head hit the glass as you lazily wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tangling your fingers in his dark locks, pulling him even closer. Your lips brushed over his, softly grazing the wet hairs of his beard, relishing in the close proximity of him. 

Your clit was overly sensitive from the previous orgasm and as his pelvis brushed against it with every thrust, you felt the coil tighten once again, burning its way through your body. You tried your best to match his thrusts, grinding down on him as he rose up to meet you. His groans reverberated throughout the bathroom, bouncing off of the cool tiles and echoing in your head, driving you closer to the edge. 

‘I’m so close, please baby, please.’ Steve spoke roughly, the words muttered against your ear as he begged, begged you for his release. You smashed your lips to his, kissing him as passionately as you could while your body spasmed underneath his, your walls clenching around him, pulling him in even further. He shuddered against you, his release spilling in, coating your walls. His breath was hot and heavy against your ear as he pulled back from your lips, resting his forehead on the cool glass. ‘Fuck…’ His chest heaved against yours as he slowly let go of your legs, sliding you down his body until your feet could touch the cool tiles. 

You don’t know how long he held you for but when both of your breathing and heart rates had slowed enough, you pulled away, reaching for the shampoo before pouring some into your hands and reaching up to rub it into his hair, soothing his scalp as you did so. His eyes closed in relaxation, a moan of a different kind falling from his lips as you cleaned him. Despite how hard he had tried the past few months not to think too far into the future, Steve couldn’t help himself. His mind drifted back to being a child when his mother would bathe him, soothing him just as you were now and he felt a stir down below. He knew you would be a perfect mother even if you weren’t ready yet. Perhaps you just needed a little push.

When you helped rinse the conditioner from his hair, he was fully hard again, the sound of little feet pattering along hardwood floors echoing in his mind over the sound of the water hitting his skin. He could almost see the child now, a boy first and then maybe a year later to give you some time to adjust, there would be a girl and she would be the spitting image of you, sweet and soft, well tempered and mannered. They felt so real already and Steve knew if he wanted his dreams to become reality there was only one thing to do, so he lined himself up with your entrance, thrusting inside as he picked out names for your future children. 

+


	15. The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Smut, angst, major character death, me being a lil’ bitch. 
> 
> Word Count: 8.0k (yikes)

XV. The Battle

Your thighs ached as Steve helped you dress in one of his t-shirts. It swallowed you just like the rest of his clothing did but you didn’t mind. His scent was heavy on the shirt and it gave you an odd sense of being home. The cotton white towel that had been wrapped around his waist as you dressed fell to the floor, piling in a heap. 

You watched the firm muscles of his back shift, rippling under his skin as he moved, bending over to pick up his discarded suit. You admired the sight of his glorious firm backside as he dressed and even when he was done, you still marvelled at him. 

The suit had changed a lot since when you had last seen it during the battle of New York. You had always thought he looked a little like he had just come straight from a comic book but the way the dark material clung to his form had your cunt clenching in need. Gone was the bright royal blue with the blinding red and white stripes, in their place was a much darker look, definitely more fitting for the man before you now. 

His lips brushed against yours softly, his arms wrapping you in a warm embrace. You buried your head into his chest, nuzzling against the material. ‘Steve?’ Your voice was meek against his chest, timid in the sparse room. 

‘Yes Sweetheart?’ He tried to coax you, urging you to confide in him. 

‘I’m scared.’

‘I know you are Sweetheart. But it’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay.’ Steve felt awful for lying to you, in truth he had no idea what was going to happen. But he did know that he would do whatever it takes to keep you safe. No matter what. 

‘C’mon Sweetheart, the others are waiting and we need to get to Wakanda as soon as possible.’ He held your hand as he tried to lead you from the room but your feet were locked in place. Both he and Bucky had mentioned the African country but you didn’t quite understand why. 

‘Wakanda? Why are we going there?’

‘Bucky told you about the Infinity Stones right?’ You nodded your head, slightly confused as to how it all connected together. ‘The Vision has one of them implanted into his mind and so to get it out we need somewhere with a top tier science lab and I know just the scientist to help us.’ You nodded again, thankful that he had actually spoken to you unlike when he had just left for that mission. And yet, you couldn’t get out of your head how you had had to prompt him to share information. It shouldn’t be like that, not really. He should willingly offer it, he should want you to be a part of his life. Just like Bucky had when he had calmed you down, telling you all about the mission that Steve was on. The one he had spoken about so vaguely… 

You squeezed your eyes shut, as though you could squeeze those thoughts out of your brain. You didn’t want them there, especially when you had Steve standing right in front of you, his warmth seeming to seep through his hand to yours, warming your entire body. 

This time, you allowed him to pull you from the room, leading you through various different hallways until he reached a hangar. ‘So glad you could finally join us Captain.’ You heard the sarcastic call emanate from somewhere inside the jet and you knew the voice belonged to Rhodey. Your cheeks heated as you approached the rest of the team, Rhodey had clearly realised why Steve had taken so long to fetch you and so the others probably had as well. 

Bucky smiled thinly over at you as he arrived, his small black gobag draped over his shoulder. ‘Hey Buck, I just wanted to say thank you for looking after my girl.’ Something flashed too quickly for you to register in Bucky’s eyes at Steve’s words. 

‘Yeah sure anytime pal.’ His eyes briefly flickered over to you before returning to Steve’s as he was pulled in for a hug. Bucky forced a smile once more before hastily turning on his heel and heading towards the jet. You didn’t have long to wonder at Bucky’s strange behaviour before someone else approached. 

‘Ahh, so this is why you were so impatient to get home.’ You could clearly hear the teasing in the infamous Black Widow’s voice as she approached, extending her hand to clasp yours. ‘I’m Natasha.’ You smiled thinly, nerves eating you up as you gave her your name. 

The next person to offer you their hand was Sam and he definitely made you feel far more at ease than the super spy had. His smile was bright and genuine as he took your hand, asking Steve teasingly where he had been hiding you away. Oh if only he knew.

As Steve tactfully evaded Sam’s teasing, your eyes flitted over the jet, watching as the rest of the team readied themselves. You felt Steve’s arm wrap around you as he tried to bring you into the conversation. You withheld your sigh but nestled in against Steve’s side, enjoying the warmth that emanated from him. Thankfully his conversation with Sam was cut short by two others arriving. They introduced themselves as Wanda and Vision and before you knew it, Sam had the hangar doors open and the jet in the air. 

+

The flight was silent for the most part, your hand in Steve’s as he ignored the quizzical looks the others sent the two of you. While he had given them a simple explanation, calling you his girlfriend, he skirted the other questions fired at him. Everyone seemed to drop it except one. It sent shivers down your spine, the way her piercing green eyes roved over you, seemingly searching through your soul. 

You knew that Steve had been on a mission when he had found you again in Madrid and you wondered if she had been there too, at least that would explain why she had so many questions and struggled to accept your relationship. There was another possible reason but you didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to have to deal with the self doubt and insecurity it brought with it. 

As your stomach churned with thoughts of Natasha’s bright green eyes, you felt another pair on you, searching through you. Your eyes flickered over to Bucky and where he sat, opposite you and Steve in the body of the jet. Melancholy seemed to radiate off of him as his gaze was transfixed on your entwined hands. 

If Steve noticed his best friend’s demeanor he didn’t say or do anything. Instead, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you into his warm embrace, resting your back against his firm chest. It was warm and familiar, bringing a soft smile to your face. ‘You should try and get some sleep Sweetheart. It’s going to be a long flight.’ You hummed up at him, your eyes drifting closed. The even expansion and contraction of his chest mixed with the soft thump of his heart lulled you to sleep. 

+

When you awoke a chill had settled over you. Steve was no longer holding onto you and as your eyes drifted open you saw him leaning over Sam’s chair, staring fixedly out the windshield. He muttered something about co-ordinates that you didn’t quite catch and you felt a jolt as the jet dipped down until it was almost in line with the trees. 

‘I hope you’re right about this or we’re going to land a lot faster than you want to.’ You locked eyes with Bucky in a mild panic as you heard Sam’s words. The jet continued to sink lower and Bucky crossed the jet, coming to sit next to you. 

‘We’ll be fine. Steve knows what he’s doing; he’s done this before.’ He murmured the words to you, his hand coming up to slowly rub your back, soothing you. 

You barely had a chance to nod before you felt a jolt through the jet and your eyes squeezed shut, certain that you were about to die. Yet, no pain came. No screaming or wailing as the jet crashed into the trees. ‘Doll, you can open your eyes now. It’s okay.’ Slowly, you allowed Bucky to coax you into opening your eyes, you jaw dropping slightly as you did so.

Wakanda was unlike any other place you had ever seen before. Where there once was acres of unruly trees, now stood a gleaming city. Sure, you had read about it in the news and Steve had told you a little bit about it but his words had not done the place justice. You stared in awe as the jet flew over a large body of water before coming to hover over a landing pad, the bay doors slowly opening. 

Steve turned away from the cockpit, surprised to see you so close behind him but he smiled, taking your hand as he led you from the ship. ‘Wakanda really is something huh?’ All you could do was nod in awe, your eyes struggling to adjust to the bright sunlight outside. 

You noted the procession waiting to greet you, T’Challa in front with a hoard of women clad in red, holding sharp spears. You followed a half-step behind Steve as he approached the Wakandan King, holding out his hand. ‘Seems like I’m always thanking you for something.’ The king smiled and as they shook hands. 

‘And who might this be?’ His gaze turned curious as he locked eyes with you, practically hiding behind Steve’s immense frame. 

Steve introduced you and you gently took the hand extended by the King, warming up to the man as he smiled genuinely down at you. ‘I was wondering if she could stay, perhaps with Shuri while she worked?’

‘Of course Captain. Any friend of yours is a friend of Wakanda.’ Steve smiled at that, making way for the others to greet T’Challa. 

‘Ahh, the White Wolf. How have you been?’ You were slightly confused by the greeting he gave to Bucky but the other man merely shrugged. 

‘Could be better and I wish I was returning on better circumstances.’ The two men nodded gravely before the king’s attention was drawn to Bruce as he stepped forward, bending into a slight bow. You watched as Rhodey tried to hold in his laughter as T’Challa awkwardly informed Bruce, whose cheeks had a definite pink tinge, that that wasn’t a part of their custom. 

You couldn’t hold back your smile as you watched the display but it was soon lost as they started discussing strategy. Although you knew little of what to expect, it sounded like they were planning for a full on invasion of enemy forces. A chill went down your spine as you remembered the last time aliens had invaded Earth. If it weren’t for Steve’s arm wrapped around your waist as T’Challa led you through the halls of his palace, you weren’t sure if you could have handled the fear that thought brought with it. 

You had well and truly lost track of all the turns and twists you had taken as T’Challa pushed open a large set of double doors, revealing what even you could tell was a state of the art lab. Inside you could see a girl, a woman really, she only looked a few years younger than you, working on something but quickly her attention was snatched by your group. 

Your attention waned as she and Bruce spoke about the Vision and how they should properly disconnect him from the stone. The science terms they rattled off with ease floated over your head and looking around at the others it didn’t seem like you were the only one slightly lost. 

‘T’Challa, I don’t suppose you have some spare bedrooms we could use? According to our calculations they should be arriving tomorrow - probably in the morning sometime.’ 

‘Of course Captain. I’ll have some people escort you to our guest wing while these two work.’ Steve smiled in thanks and started leading you from the room, the rest of the team following suit except for Wanda, choosing to stay by Vision’s side. 

‘Do you think Bruce and Shuri will get it done before they arrive?’ Sam’s melodic voice broke the silence as you walked. 

‘We can only hope they do. Otherwise I don’t know what we’re going to do.’ Steve’s thumb rubbed circles on yours, his nerves very apparent as the group fell back into a silence. 

Eventually you ascended to what was obviously the guest wing T’Challa had mentioned and Steve led you to the first room he could find. ‘Why don’t you go and settle in Sweetheart? I’ll be right back. I just want to talk to Bucky real quick first.’ You nodded and reached up to give him a short peck before heading inside, wondering what could be so desperate.

+

Steve’s knuckles rapped on the thick wood as he stood in the hallway, his gaze longingly fixated on the door which you had just disappeared behind. No matter how badly he wanted to be with you right now, he knew he had to talk to Bucky first. Something was clearly on his mind, he had been off ever since Steve had returned from the mission. 

He heard a soft voice call for him to enter so he pushed the door open slowly and peered around. At first it didn’t seem like Bucky was there and just as Steve was about to turn around, he noticed the open balcony door, allowing the cool night air in. 

Bucky was leaning on the rail, his gaze fixated on the Wakandan skyline but Steve knew he sensed him, standing in the doorway. ‘Hey Buck.’

‘What do you need?’ It had been a while since Steve had seen this side of Bucky, the strange detachment. 

‘No Buck. What do you need? You’ve been acting off ever since I got back from Scotland. What’s going on with you?’ Steve heard a long sigh, Bucky’s gaze refusing to move away from the city.

‘It’s nothing Steve. I’m fine, just stressed about tomorrow.’

‘That’s bullshit and we both know it. Is it…’ Steve broke off, not quite sure if he wanted the answer to his question. ‘I know I haven’t been spending much time with any of the team and especially you recently and I’m sorry about that. But I feel like my girl and I are finally in a really good place right now and now that she’s met the rest of the team, things will change. I promise we’ll both be around more.’ At his words Steve noticed the almost undetectable tense of Bucky’s body. ‘I thought… I thought you liked her? Did something happen?’ 

Bucky cursed at how easily his best friend could read him, forcing his best fake smile. ‘No, nothing happened, she just missed you, a lot. She’s a real dame.’

‘Buck…’

‘Steve, everything’s fine. Just go be with your girl, we all need to get some sleep.’ After a terse silence, Steve finally receded, bidding Bucky a goodnight as he left the balcony, heading back to you. The city lights reflected in Bucky’s eyes, the feeling of disgust that Steve’s visit had only intensified churning around in his stomach. How could he tell his best friend that he was acting weird because he was jealous?

+

You didn’t hear the door open when Steve returned but you felt the dip in the bed as he pressed his body against yours, his arm wrapping around you and his face nuzzling into your neck. His lips brushed feather light along the skin sending shivers down your back. 

‘What were you doing?’ All thoughts of sleep were thrown out the window as he pressed even closer to you, hot and hard underneath the silken sheets. 

‘Just talking to Bucky.’ Steve breathed against your shoulder blade, his hand pushing his shirt up above your legs.

‘How is he?’ Your response was immediate, concern for the man you barely knew taking over. 

Steve’s hand stilled between your legs, trying to talk himself out of asking the question forming in his mind, but both you and Bucky had been acting weird. The need to know won. ‘He’s okay. Did something happen while I was gone?’ He didn’t need you to respond, feeling your body tense against his was enough of an answer for him. 

He pulled away, his hand that had been wrapped around you pulling your body with his, forcing you to face him. ‘What happened?’ 

The man staring back at you was a stark contrast of the one that had crawled into your bed five minutes ago. His azure eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched as his mind raced, already suspecting the worst. 

‘Nothing really. I just - I just missed you. So much, you have no idea. And then I couldn’t sleep, I had one of my nightmares and Bucky was there. He woke me up and brought me back and he was so warm. I-’ You cut yourself off, not sure if you really wanted to finish that sentence but you knew it would sound better coming from you instead of Bucky. 

‘You what?’ Steve’s grip in you tightened, his fingernails digging into your tender muscles. 

‘I asked him to stay with me.’ You admitted, you voice small as it came out. 

‘And then what?’ 

‘And then nothing. He held me and I fell asleep. He just - it just made me feel like you were still with me.’ You hand reached up, cupping his cheek as you tried to explain why you had done it. ‘He’s just warm and big like you and I was scared and you had left me alone. I didn’t know where you were or what you were doing.’ After a long pause, Steve gave a miniscule nod, his jaw still clenched but his eyes no longer narrowed into slits. 

‘I understand. As long as that’s all that happened?’ 

‘Of course Stevie I -’ You cut yourself off from saying that. No matter what that stupid muscle in your chest told you, you weren’t quite ready to say it to him yet. ‘Nothing else happened. The next morning he got your call and then we went to the compound. We’d barely been back before you joined me in the shower.’ You hoped the reminder of your shower escapades was enough to put him back in a good mood. You had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow and you didn’t want to spend this last night together arguing, yet… you did want some answers. 

‘But while we’re being honest with each other…’ Your hand trailed down his chest, drawing indecipherable patterns, your eyebrows furrowed as you thought over your words. 

‘What Sweetheart? What do you want to know?’ 

‘At the compound… before the shower, I kind of maybe went snooping through your stuff and I-’

‘You found my sketchbook.’ 

‘Yeah. There were a lot of drawings of me but… we only really met after the Accords… after you had moved out of the compound.’ You didn’t know much about Steve’s life post the Accords and before you but you knew he would have moved out of the compound. 

‘Well… I mean, we actually met in New York during the battle there, nearly six years ago now. Do you remember that?’

‘Of course I do. You saved my life.’

‘Yeah I did. I remember it so vividly, fending off those Chitauri and then finding you, lying trapped under that car. Even in the heat of battle I knew you were beautiful, a proper dame. But then when I had to leave and you didn’t even say thank you… I don’t know. It just reminded me of all those other women Bucky had tried to get me to date but they had never paid any attention to me, just like you and it got to me.’ Your heart broke for him as he re-lived the neglect he had felt for all those years. 

‘You haunted my dreams and everytime I stared at a blank piece of paper, the only thing I wanted to draw was you. I became increasingly obsessed with you, with finding you and teaching you some manners. And then I did… but somewhere along the way it became more than that. I fell in love with you and I know that this wasn’t exactly the best way to start the rest of our lives together but I can’t change the past. I can only hope that you find it in you to forgive me. I love you Sweetheart, so much. You have no idea how it would destroy me if anything ever happened to you.’ 

Your breath hitched as he said those three words, the same ones that had been bouncing around in your chest for the past few days. An achingly long silence stretched as you considered what to say in response. 

‘You don’t have to say it back. I know it’s a lot to process and if… if you don’t think that you could ever love me back or forgive me… well we could, I mean, you could… you could leave.’ Steve didn’t know how on earth he managed to choke the words out. He could feel tears threatening to pool in his eyes at the mere thought of you leaving. He knew there was nothing he wanted more than a future with you and if you left it would kill him, but he also knew that he couldn’t force you into the future he wanted. He wanted the big wedding, the kids, the growing old together. He wanted it all and try as he might, he couldn’t force you to want it with him. He didn’t want to build this life with you only to have you resent him every day for the rest of your lives. 

Your head spun, whiplash at his emotions confused you as he peered at you, his eyes reflecting just how vulnerable he was right now. He had gone from not-so-borderline jealous about Bucky to confessing his love to offering you a way out. Did you want a way out?

‘Steve… I-I can’t say those words back to. I’m sorry. I wish I could but I’m just not ready.’ The way the small bundle of hope in his eyes seemed to die tore at your heart strings. ‘That doesn’t mean I don’t want to though. What you did was wrong and so incredibly fucked up and if we’re going to continue, we need to have a serious conversation about our expectations for where we go from here and now just isn’t the time for it. Maybe after all this is over we can have that chat?’

‘Of course. Anything you want. I think that sounds like a good idea.’ Steve would agree to anything if it meant you would choose to stay with him. He was determined to fix this mess he had made. ‘I know you said you can’t say it but I really do love you.’ 

You smiled at his words, the pure emotion shining through as he spoke. ‘I know.’ You smiled as you leaned up, your lips pressing against his. It was slow and soft even after you had crawled on top of him, your thighs spread out on either side of his impressive chest. You drank each other in, your bodies slowly coming to life as you rocked against him, feeling him grow once more. 

His hands drifted up, bunching his t-shirt up above your waist and then swiftly pulling it over your head and throwing it into some corner of the room, far, far away. Just like always Steve was mesmerized by you. With the moonlight drifting in and dancing along your skin you looked like a true goddess and Steve couldn’t believe that he even had a chance with you. 

His hands gripped your ass, moving you against him slightly harder as your tongues seemed to merge. All he could sense was you. Your taste, your smell, your body against his. You were his whole world. 

Gently, he rolled over, switching places with you, leaning on his elbows above you. He gently pushed some hair off of your face and out of the way, his eyes boring lovingly into yours before diving back in. One hand snaked its way down, underneath the band of your panties. He cupped you there. His fingers coating themselves with the slick pooling there before slowly inserting themselves into you, one at a time. 

The fire was slowly igniting in your belly as he curled his fingers this way and that, stroking you right there, bringing you to life. His lips brushed over your skin, making their way down your neck and over your breasts. Your fingers curled in his hair, burying themselves in his locks. Your back arched up, pushing your chest further into his mouth and he rolled your nipple between his teeth. 

‘Steve,’ You were breathless already, his name barely falling from your lips in a plea for more. And Steve gave you more. 

His thumb pressed down on your clit as he continued to thrust his fingers into you and with his mouth dancing over your skin, you couldn’t hold back. You pulled his face back up to yours, forcing your lips against his as you came, gushing over his hand. His mouth swallowed your moans, drinking them in until you couldn’t even think any more. 

You felt his tip brush against your pulsating clit, circling it a few times before inching its way down to your entrance. Steve’s eyes were locked on yours as he gently pushed in, pausing every few centimeters, relishing in the way your walls squeezed him so tightly. When he had finally made his entire way in, he couldn’t help but groan. It felt so right. Being here with you, knowing that he had a chance at a real future. Even though the world could end tomorrow, Steve couldn’t find it in himself to care. This moment was perfect. 

Eventually he started rocking his hips, your own moving with his, meeting him halfway. He cradled your head in his hands, his lips meeting yours once more, needing that feeling of connection. 

He could feel your fingernails digging into his back, your hands sliding in the sweat forming. His thrusts grew in speed and force. He was sure to angle his hips, making his length brush against you there. You were so warm and wet, your velvet walls squeezing him so tightly. He could feel your slick dripping down, spilling all over him and coating your skin. 

Steve breathed in your air and one hand disappeared down to where your bodies were connected. He rubbed his fingers over your clit, playing with the small bundle of nerves. The ever-tightening coil in his gut told him he didn’t have long to make you cum. 

‘Sweetheart… baby please. Cum for me, cum on my cock.’ His voice was deep, a long groan against your lips as he pleaded. ‘I love it when you cum with me Sweetheart. You take my cock so fuckin’ well and my cum… god you have no idea how hard I get knowing it’s inside you.’ 

The pleasure was growing too much, the feeling of your walls clenching around him told Steve that you were close too. With a final circle of your clit, Steve felt you come undone underneath him. Your muscles tensing as you screamed into his mouth. He felt your hands slide down his back, gripping his ass as he came, your walls squeezing him like a vice. He thrusted once, twice, three times into you before stilling. 

He pulled back slightly, pride taking over at the fucked out expression on your face. In the heat of things some hair had clung to the sweat coating your face so he gently brushed it back out of the way. ‘I love you.’ It was soft and he didn’t wait for a response, pecking your lips once more before pulling out and rolling onto his back, dragging your body with his. 

His arms wrapped around you, his hands over your stomach. When he felt you try to stir in his arms he just pulled them tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Even though you hadn’t opened your mouth yet, he knew you wanted to discuss tomorrow. ‘Shhh, Sweetheart. Don’t worry about tomorrow, just sleep. I’ll protect you, now and always.’ He felt you nod against his chest, your lips breaking into a smile as you got comfortable. 

He himself eventually drifted off, a smile on his face as he thought about the future you were going to share. 

+

‘My King.’ The same woman you had met yesterday entered the hall. Her golden armour gleaned from the sunlight spilling in from outside. 

‘What is it Okoye?’ T’Challa asked, even though everyone sitting at the breakfast table knew what she was about to say. 

‘They’ve entered the atmosphere. We have maybe twenty minutes until they arrive.’ A sombre mood fell over the group, leaving their meals half eaten as they departed the hall. You followed along after Steve, his hand gripping yours tightly, a firm scowl on his face as he thought. While the others turned to head downstairs towards the armoury, Steve led you upstairs, towards Shuri’s lab. 

He knocked on the door before entering. The room was just as it had been yesterday, Shuri frantically working over Vision as Wanda watched over nervously. Both women barely spared you and Steve a glance as you entered. 

‘Shuri, how long will it be?’ 

‘I’m working as quickly as I can. Do you know how many neurons there are in the brain?’ The princess sassed back, but Steve paid her attitude no mind. 

‘How long?’ 

‘Another hour or two but I would be working much quicker if I didn’t have you distracting me.’ Hey eyes raised up, looking Steve square in the face. He nodded and turned back to you. 

‘Everything’s going to be okay Sweetheart. You’re going to be fine. But just in case something happens, I want you to have this.’ He handed you the gun that had been strapped to his thigh. 

‘Steve? What? I can’t - I don’t know how to use one.’ 

‘And you won’t have to use it but I need to know that if in the rare case something happens you can protect yourself. I won’t be able to focus out on the field if I know you might be in danger.’ You nodded, hesitantly taking the gun from his hands. It was heavier than you had expected although you had definitely never seen this coming. 

‘This is the safety. It’s on right now but at the first sign of trouble, you flick that switch and then you point and shoot. Never ever point it at something you don’t intend on shooting. Do you understand?’ You nodded, a chill settling over you. 

‘Okay, Sweetheart I love you. You’re going to be fine.’ You could barely stand still, your body threatening to collapse as fear plagued you but you managed a nod. His arms wrapped around you, his warmth and his scent were comforting. His lips even more so as he kissed you lovingly. He had to leave all too soon, a silent conversation with Wanda as she promised to look after you and one last glance as you before he was out the door, heading down to the armoury. 

+

Steve’s nerves jittered inside of him. It was that weird sense of calm and stress that he always felt before a big mission or battle. It gave him an odd sense of comfort. He was as prepared for this as he would ever be and while he would’ve preferred if you were somewhere far away, he knew Shuri and Wanda would help protect you. Not that anything would happen. 

He stepped forward, walking with Nat and T’Challa to where he could see his pals from the train station the other night. 

‘Where’s your other friend?’ He heard Natasha tease and he wanted to shake his head. Now was not the time to provoke these guys. 

‘You will pay for his life with yours.’ The one with blue hair promised, a glint in her eye. ‘Thanos will have that stone.’ 

Steve’s jaw clenched, his resolution staying fim. ‘That’s not going to happen.’

‘You are in Wakanda now. Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.’ T’Challa chimed in, determined to protect his country. 

A smirk came over her face as the king spoke and Steve didn’t like the smugness that radiated off of her. ‘We have blood to spare.’ With a grunt she lifted her sword skyward and the half a dozen ships opened their doors. 

Quickly Steve and the others backed away to where the troops stood in formation, getting ready to fight.

‘They surrender?’ Bucky’s low timber sounded in Steve’s ear and for a moment he was taken back to the forties, to the last time they fought together on that train. 

‘Not exactly.’ 

The crowd watched on in silence as the dog-like aliens galloped through the treeline, out onto the field, not stopping even after the first wave had been decimated by the protective barrier. 

‘They’re killing themselves.’ Okoye muttered under her breath, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her. Steve couldn’t help but agree. He too couldn’t take his eyes off of the animals hurling themselves at the barrier despite how gruesome it was. 

The few that managed to make it through the barrier were easily disposed of. The Wakandan soldiers fired from their spears and Sam and Rhodey flew overhead, dropping various grenades on them. The roar of Bucky’s machine gun rang in Steve’s ear.

Steve watched as the animals seemed to diverge, splitting off around the edge of the barrier, making to circle the city. His fears were confirmed by Bruce in his comms. ‘Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us, there’s nothing between them and Vision.’ Between them and his girl Steve added in his mind. 

‘Then we better keep them in front of us.’

‘How do we do that?’

‘We open the barrier.’ Steve and T’Challa shared a look as the other man called the princess.

+

Steve’s blood pounded, his heart thumped wildly in his chest. His sweat made his hair cling to his forehead. They were easily outnumbered but what made the battle so difficult was the clear lack of fear shown by the animals. No matter how many Steve killed, more kept coming at him, unafraid of what they had seen him just do.

While he liked the shields that T’Challa had given him, he wasn’t quite used to them. It was times like these when Steve really missed his shield. It would have been useful now, being able to throw it around instead of using purely just hand to hand skills. Although, the sharp edges of the Wakandan ones were handy for stabbing. 

Steve felt himself airborne, a large something crashing into him before he was pounded into the ground, two of the aliens on top of him. Hastily he kicked out, swinging his arms wildly, chopping off limbs as he fought to get them off. However, when they finally collapsed next to him, he barely had a chance to regain his senses before five more were in their place. 

He struggled to breathe, an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia flowing through him but he knew he couldn’t afford to panic. 

Through the sea of bodies surrounding him, Steve could make out a great flash of colour and he was momentarily blinded by the light before he felt a sudden lightness. The mutts that had been on top of him all lay in pieces at his sides despite him doing nothing. Sitting up confusedly, he glanced around, thanking whoever was out there when he saw a familiar Norse god. 

He hastily stood up, rejoining the battle as he slowly made his way across the field to where Thor fought alongside what looked like a tree and a machine gun yielding racoon. 

‘New haircut?’ Steve called over the battle. 

‘I noticed you’ve copied my beard.’ Steve smiled, nodding slightly. He had missed these mid-fight chats. He watched in amazement as the tree reached out, his arm forcing its way through half a dozen mutts. ‘Oh by the way this is a friend of mine, a tree.’ 

‘I am Groot.’ In all his time Steve had seen a lot of weird things but a moving and talking tree probably had to make the top ten list. 

‘I am Steve Rogers.’ He felt it only polite to introduce himself to the tree before getting back to the heat of the battle. 

+

Your gut twisted and clenched, your anxiety was through the roof as you watched the scene unfold from the lab. Wanda had tried to help, to keep you distracted but she herself was clearly worried about those that she called her family. When the rainbow tunnel had come down from the sky, you had worried that it was more alien ships but Wanda had just smiled. ‘It’s Thor. He’s here to help.’ 

You had heard of the god of thunder before and it did definitely help your nerves knowing that Steve had a god on his side now, but still… there were a lot of enemies. 

The ground seemed to shake beneath you, Shuri’s instruments rattling on shelves as you glanced around confusedly. ‘What was that?’ 

‘Oh no… look.’ Wanda pointed out the window, where you could see the treeline slowly disappearing. The ground visibly shaking even from this distance.

‘What is it?’ 

‘I’m not sure… it looks like -’ Wanda’s voice cut off when the ground erupts. Long drill-like structures spring up in the middle of the field and what little relief Thor’s arrival had caused vanishes. You race over to where Shuri stands arranging Vision’s nerves away from the golden stone in the holograph. 

‘How much longer Shuri?’ 

‘I-I’m not sure. It’s complicated.’

‘We don’t have much longer!’ Your voice is shrill, panic flowing freely through you as you thought of Steve fighting down there with the hoards of animals. 

You turn back to the window, needing Wanda to calm you down but she’s no longer standing staring out at the field. Instead you see a glowing red cloud swirl around her as she flies down to join the battle. 

Your heart sinks as you watch her go but you couldn’t blame her. Even though you knew absolutely nothing about fighting you would do anything to be down there with Steve. Not knowing whether he was okay was killing you. 

The clang of metal drew you from your worries as you whipped around. You had no idea how he had gotten there but standing in the doorway was a pale blue giant of a man. You watched as the member of the Dora Milaje that had been stationed with the princess charged the giant but she barely stood a chance. Her body was tossed away within an instant, landing near your feet. 

Your heart started racing, pounding wildly in your chest and your palms were sweaty but you dashed towards the table where you had placed Steve’s gun. Your hand trembled as you switched the safety off just like he had shown you that morning. You watched as Shuri fired her own weapon before slowly raising the cool metal and pointing it at the giant’s chest. 

You took an even breath before firing. The recoil was enough to force you a few steps back but you had his attention now and you couldn’t afford to waste anytime. You fired again and again until pulling the trigger did nothing, your clip empty.

Your back was pressed against the table, you had nowhere to run and no way to fight off this giant. Your death was imminent, this was going to be the end and Steve… Steve would never know that you loved him. 

Your eyes squeezed tight as you forced yourself to imagine Steve, of how he had looked last night, his voice whispering that he loved you into your ear. If you were going to die you wanted your last memory to be a happy one. 

A soft whoosh flew past your head before you heard a tremendous crash and the sound of broken glass. Your eyes peaked open just in time to see Vision as he hurled out the broken window after the giant, fighting as they fell down to the field. 

Relief like none other that you had ever felt flowed through and you made a silent promise that you would tell Steve how you felt if you both made it out of here alive. 

+

Steve’s heart sank when a whisper of red flew past him. Wanda was on the field. He had told her not to leave Vision’s side until the stone was destroyed. She had promised him that she would protect his girl. With the way things were going, Steve worried that his girl would have to end up using the gun he had given her. He just hoped she was a natural shot. 

His heart sank again when Sam’s voice called out through his comms. ‘Guys, we’ve got a Vision problem.’ Steve ran through the battle, trying desperately to get to the trees where he had seen Vision land. 

The trees blurred as he rushed past them and he felt sure his blood pressure was at an all time high. They couldn’t afford to fail now. He couldn’t afford to fail, not when he was just on the verge of getting everything he had ever wanted. 

He watched as Vision got stabbed through the chest, his form flickering as it glitched and Steve forced himself to run faster. He tackled the one that had stabbed Vision, calling out as he pushed himself off the ground. ‘Get out of here!’ He ducked a swing from the man, throwing one of his own back. ‘Go!’ He yelled at Vision when he saw that he had not moved from the tree he was leaning on. 

His brief glance back had cost him as suddenly Steve felt himself airborne, his body crashing into a tree log before falling back to the ground. Before he had time to recover the alien was on top of him, it’s hands wrapped around his throat in a vice like grip. His arms were pinned and he struggled to escape, he struggled to breathe. 

Black spots started to dance along his vision and Steve could feel his energy fade. He knew he had gotten out alive from far worse situations but lying here in the middle of a Wakandan forest, he feared this time he wouldn’t be so lucky. As his vision faded to black, it was your face he saw behind his closed lids. It was from last night when you had looked so serene, so much like a goddess sitting on top of him. With his last few dregs of remaining strength he forced himself to continue fighting, for his future, for you. 

Suddenly he could breathe again, the creature that had been pinning him down now seemed to be floating but as his vision cleared, Steve realised it was Vision. He had stabbed the creature and tossed its body away. Vision staggered where he stood and Steve hastily got to his feet, slinging an arm around his teammate. 

‘I thought I told you to go.’ His voice was hoarse and his throat stung as he spoke.

‘We don’t trade lives Captain.’ Steve smiled briefly before he noticed the odd sense of calm that had settled over the forest. 

‘Guys, we have incoming.’ Steve didn’t have to be able to see anything to know that something big was coming. He could just sense it in his gut. 

Thankfully most of the team was around him, preparing to fight with him when they saw the big cloud of grey smoke. Blue sparks crackled as the cloud grew larger and larger until a vague man shaped silhouette stood out against the grey. 

‘That’s him’ Steve didn’t need Bruce’s voice in his ear to confirm his suspicions. This was Thanos. 

‘Eyes up, stay sharp.’ It wasn’t much of a pep talk but it was the best he could offer right now and following Bruce’s lead, he charged the purple giant. Steve watched in horror as Thanos easily lifted the hulk iron man suit over his head, throwing it against the rocks where it seemed to be swallowed by the limestone. 

He barely got within two meters of Thanos before he felt his body being lifted and thrown away, hitting his head as he landed. He watched as Sam landed nearby, his wings out of commission and as Natasha was trapped seemingly by the ground. 

A glare of red in his peripheries told him that their efforts had been in vain. They were out of time and the stone had to be destroyed now. Groggily, he got back to his feet, racing to where Thanos was making his way towards Wanda. He had to stop him.

He ducked this way and that as Thanos threw punches and surprisingly managed to land a few of his own. He had realised that Thanos’ power seemed to come from the gauntlet he wore and so at his first chance, Steve grabbed the golden glove. He had to use two hands to keep his fist from closing and a yell escaped his lips from the strain. He knew he couldn’t hold him off forever but he had to at least try to give Wanda enough time. 

Suddenly his body was jolted forward as Thanos pulled his arm back, his other landing a clean blow to the side of Steve’s head. The last thing he saw was Thanos moving determinedly towards Wanda and Vision before the world went black. 

+

When he awoke he saw Thor standing before Thanos, his axe buried deep in his chest before a cloud of smoke engulfed his giant body and he vanished. 

‘Where’d he go?’ Steve’s eyes darted around the forest, half expecting the purple giant to come out from behind one of the trees. ‘Thor?’ His breaths were coming heavy and his head pounded. He was sure a couple of his ribs were broken but there were more pressing issues. ‘Where’d he go?!’ Still, he got no response from the god, his eyes staring distantly at where his axe lay on the ground. 

‘Steve?’ He barely had a chance to register what he was seeing before it was over. Bucky was walking towards him, his body fading to dust before finally disappearing, his gun clattering to the ground. 

‘Bucky?’ He rushed to where his best friend had been and where there was now just a pile of dust. His finger ran through the dust, his eyes looking back up at Thor, the realisation that they had failed finally starting to sink in. 

‘We lost. He did it.’ Steve’s legs seemed to give out from under him, his whole body was trembling. Bucky… he had just gotten him back and now he was gone again. It wasn’t fair, it couldn’t be happening. 

He distantly heard the voices of his team over the comms as they scrambled to figure out who was still alive. It was only when Okoye pointed out that she hadn’t heard from Shuri that Steve’s head snapped up. 

Before he could even blink he was back on his feet, the forest rushing past him as he raced to the palace. Nothing seemed to matter as he ran, not his pounding headache or the cut in his side that was seeping with blood. Nothing mattered but you. He couldn’t lose you too. Not now, not ever. 

+

Please don’t hate me


	16. The Endgame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Major character death, cute fluff, maybe some angst?
> 
> Word Count: 5.1k

XVI. The Endgame

FIVE YEARS LATER

‘So I uh… went on a date the other day.The first time in five years and you know I’m sitting there at dinner and I-I didn’t even know what to talk about.’ Steve nods his head in understanding. He knew exactly how Gerald felt. 

‘What did you talk about?’ He made sure to keep his voice calm and steady, trying to gently coax the other man into talking. 

‘Oh the same old crap you know, how things have changed and my job, his job, how much we miss the mets. Then things got quiet and he cried as they were serving the salads.’ Steve saw just how Gerald’s story was affecting the rest of the group. A sombre sadness in their eyes as they each reflected on their own experiences. 

‘What about you?’ This time it was Grant asking the question. 

There was a pause as Gerald thought of his answer. ‘I cried as they were serving the desserts… but I’m seeing him again tomorrow so…’ 

‘That’s great. You did the hardest part. You took the jump and you didn’t know where you were going to come down.’ Steve watched as tears began to form in Harley’s eyes, a few of the other members of the group already had tear tracks down their cheeks. ‘And that’s it, that’s those little brave baby steps we’ve gotta take to try and become whole again, to try and find purpose. You gotta move on… Gotta move on.’ His voice cracked slightly as he spoke and he felt tears prick at his eyes. He was meant to be the group’s leader. He couldn’t break down, not in front of them. 

‘The world is in our hands, it’s left to us guys, and we gotta do something with it. Otherwise, Thanos should have killed all of us.’ Steve could barely maintain his composure and he let out a sigh of relief when the last member filed out the doors. He remained leaning on one of the plastic fold out tables he had set up long after the hall was empty. Particularly heavy sessions like these really got to him and he had to compose himself before he left. 

The streets of New York were cold, the autumn days were slipping away and giving way to a winter chill. A pang thundered in his chest as he drove past Avengers Tower. It was just another reminder of everything he had lost. 

The only upside that the snap had caused was the lack of traffic. While there were still just over four million people living in the city, the streets had cleared considerably. What should have been an hour long drive bare took him forty minutes now. It wasn’t much but Steve had to cling to whatever good was in his life now. He couldn’t afford to lose hope. 

Gravel crunched underneath his tires as he pulled into his driveway, His eyes slightly drooping as he got out of the car and made his way to the door. All he really wanted to do right now was fall asleep. 

As soon as he entered the house he was met with a delicious smell. He couldn’t quite tell what it was but something spicy along with a faint trace of garlic. 

‘Steve?’ A voice called out and slowly he made his way to the kitchen a smile on his face as he saw you standing in front of the stove. Coming home to you was always his favourite part of the day. His arms wrapped around you, resting on your stomach as he leaned over your shoulder, looking at what you were stirring in the pot. 

‘What’cha cooking? It smells delicious’ 

‘Pasta alla norma.’ Steve hummed to himself, his stomach growling slightly. 

‘How long until it’ll be ready?’ 

‘I just need to cook the pasta so less than ten. If you could set the table that would be great.’ 

‘Of course Sweetheart.’ Steve dipped down briefly, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss. He couldn’t believe it had been nearly five and a half years since you had come into his life and he had no idea how he would have managed the last few ones without you. 

The table was set and Steve helped you down into your chair, your swollen stomach making it harder for you than usual. Dinner was a quiet affair, it always was after a meeting. You knew how much Steve struggled during those sessions, being surrounded by those who had lost so much. He took their struggle on, feeling the guilt of their loss. After all, he felt that he was to blame. 

When the last dish had been put away and the lights downstairs had been turned off, you followed Steve up the stairs. You watched as his eyes lingered in the door next to your bedroom and your hand crept up his back, resting on his shoulder. 

‘James is asleep but if you wanted to go check on him I doubt he would wake up.’ Steve wondered how you always knew what he needed without him needing to ask but he nodded, leading you to the small bedroom. He opened the door and relished in the way the light from the hallway cast a golden haze on his sleeping son. 

He was just over four months old and while there were traces of you, mainly in James’ skin tone and eyes, he looked just like Steve - only miniaturized. For the millionth time Steve questioned how he could get so fortunate while others had lost everything but he was determined to make it right. After all, his son did need a godfather… 

How long the two of you stood like that, watching your son sleep Steve had no idea but eventually he closed the door and followed you back to your bedroom. As you readied for bed you could tell something was on Steve’s mind but if you had learnt anything from the past five years, sometimes he just needed some time before he let you in on what he was thinking. 

You turned the bathroom lights off and waddled over to the bed, crawling into the silken sheets and nestling up against Steve’s chest. 

‘There has to be a way.’ He murmured into the night and you patted his chest, the diamond ring on your finger glinting in the moonlight. 

‘I know Steve. If anyone out there is going to find a way to bring them all back, it’s going to be you. I believe in you.’ His grip on your body tightened slightly, a melancholy smile taking hold of his face. He had no idea how to fix it, but knowing you were in his corner made everything better. 

+

Steve was awoken by a small body jumping onto him. At first when James had come up with this wakeup technique Steve was ashamed to admit his initial reactions had been far less than fatherly. However, he was getting better. He no longer tried to pin his son down for one thing. His arms gripped his son’s sides, tickling him though the light green pajama set he wore. 

‘Daddy! Daddy stop!’ His son squealed and Steve couldn’t help but laugh along, eventually seizing his attack on the small boy. When he had caught his breath, James continued. ‘Mummy says breakfast is ready if you want it.’ He scrambled out of bed, already dashing from the room as he called back over his shoulder, ‘the last one down the stairs is a rotten egg!’ Steve smiled, running a hand through his hair as he searched for a sweatshirt before clambering downstairs. 

‘Sweetheart you know you shouldn’t be on your feet so much, not when your due date is so close.’ You rolled your eyes back at him, turning to flip over the pancake in the pan. 

‘Well I wouldn’t have to be if someone hadn’t been sleeping like the dead this morning.’ You teased back at him, a smile on your face as he laughed and scooped James up before coming over to you. 

‘Why don’t you take James and go sit down, I’ll come get you when breakfast is ready.’ You sighed but exchanged the spatula in your hand for your son, carrying him over to the dining room table, straightening the family portrait as you went. 

After the snap, Steve and you had had that conversation, about what your future could look like, about each other’s expectations. Along with your own set of keys so you could go for a daily walk, you had insisted on finding a new house. There were just too many memories from the basement casting a shadow on your future there. Steve had agreed and you had finally settled on a classic little two story cottage, not too far from the compound. Steve needed to be near the compound and although the drive into the city for his therapy groups was a pain, it was for the best. 

Of course Steve had had his own conditions. He had insisted on getting married. He didn’t want a big wedding or anything like that, he just wanted you and after he had found out that you were expecting his child well, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, not that you had even entertained the idea of refusing him. The two of your had snuck down to city hall with Natasha in tow and she had acted as your witness when you signed the certificate. Steve had insisted on holding off the big celebration until everyone had returned and you agreed, it wouldn’t be right without the rest of his family there, and so that night you had invited the remaining members over for a small dinner in celebration. 

‘So what’s on the agenda for today?’ Steve walked into the room, carrying a plate full of pancakes and a jug of orange juice as he spoke. You lifted James up from the ground and placed him in his chair, a smile on your face as he instantly started digging in. 

‘I was thinking we could take James to the park and then see if Natasha could watch him for a little while?’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah. When I was in town yesterday I stopped by that little French store, you know the one.’ Steve most definitely did know the one you were talking about. He had frequented there more times than he could count buying you little gifts and he felt a stir below as he wondered at what you had bought. ‘Anyway, I thought if Nat didn’t mind acting as a babysitter you and I could have some fun and I could show you the new outfit I bought…’ Your voice trailed off as you gazed at your husband, a deceivingly innocent smile coating your lips. 

‘Well… I guess I’ll just have to call her and check.’ The thick sexual tension between the two of you was sliced by the shrill ring of a phone and Steve cursed under his breath as he searched his pockets for it. ‘Huh… Speak of the devil.’ He flashed the screen at you and you saw it was Nat calling, wondering briefly what she wanted before signalling that he should take the call. 

‘Nat, hey. We were just wondering if you were free to look after James today?’ You busied yourself cleaning up James who had somehow managed to wipe nutella all over his face. Even though you weren’t on the phone, you could hear Nat’s voice clear as day as she spoke frantically into the receiver, making your blood turn cold with worry. 

‘You need to get to the compound now Steve. There’s something you need to see.’ 

+

The next few weeks were a mess. Steve was constantly travelling, trying to get in touch with everyone who hadn’t been lost in the snap and more often than not he would spend the night at the compound. You had tried not to show how much his distance bothered you, you knew that what he was doing was important but with your second child on the way your hormones were starting to act up like crazy and… well, you just missed him for more reasons than one. 

He hadn’t wanted you anywhere near the compound while Tony and Bruce worked on the quantum realm machine. He was worried that some form of radiation would affect you and the baby and he wasn’t willing to take that chance. Not when he was so close to having everything he wanted. Again. 

Plus there was also James to take care of, but the hours that he was off at prep in the local school were the worst of your life. You were stressed about Steve and what reversing the snap would mean. Would you lose the life you had built together? The two beautiful children you had made?

Without his arms around you these thoughts kept you up late at night and you had taken to sharing your bed with James, terrified by the thought of losing him and not willing to let a moment go to waste. You had even briefly considered taking him out of prep but had managed to talk yourself down. It would be purely selfish and if everything went the way Steve promised completely needless. He told you that he had promised Tony a similar thing. Everyone would come back to now. Yet, you still worried. 

You were shocked when you heard the front door open, footsteps sounding in the hall. ‘Steve?’ You called out even though you knew it had to be him, Natasha was the only other one with a key to your place. He hadn’t been hom in days and he looked far worse for wear but when he caught sight of you reading on the couch a beautiful smile cracked over his features. 

‘Sweetheart. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.’ 

‘Well if you spent the night here at least once in a while you wouldn’t have to miss me.’ You scolded him, even though you were glad to see him again. 

‘I know Sweetheart, I know. It’s just everything’s been so hectic and… well, we’re finally ready.’

‘Really? When?’ Even though you had known this was coming for months you still couldn’t believe it was finally here. 

‘Tomorrow.’ It was just like that night in Wakanda all those years ago. A sense of dread filled your veins at the thought that Steve might not make it back home. You knew out of all the assignments his was probably the least dangerous but the thought didn’t ease your fears. As if he could read your mind, he crossed to where you sat on the couch, wrapping you up in his embrace. ‘Hey Sweetheart, I promise I’ll come back to you. I can’t leave my best girl waiting, especially not when I have a family waiting back home for me.’ You nodded and his hand reached up to brush away the tears that you weren’t sure when they had fallen. 

His lips softly descended down onto yours and you kissed him back, trying to convey how much you loved him with that one movement. ‘You have nothing to worry about Sweetheart.’ He whispered against your lips and you nodded, trying to convince yourself of his words before you drew back and grabbed his hand, pulling him up onto his feet. 

If he was going to be on a dangerous mission tomorrow then you sure as hell were going to give him a good send off. 

+

The next morning was tense as Steve made breakfast for the three of you. You had been unsure what to tell James. He knew his father was going away but he didn’t know why, just that it was for work. Steve hadn’t even wanted to tell him anything but you had insisted. If something went wrong - even though you prayed to whoever was out there that Steve would be okay - you needed to know James would have closure. He wouldn’t suddenly wonder why his father was no longer around. 

Both you and Steve dropped James off at school before making the short drive to the compound. Your legs were bouncing in your seat, your heart racing a million miles an hour as Steve parked the car. He came around to help you out and wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he made his way to his old bedroom. You watched in silence as he dressed, the royal blue suit making its final appearance. 

‘I forgot how tight this thing was.’ He tried to joke with you, pulling at the thick material but you could barely crack a smile. 

‘I’m so worried about you. Why can’t I be there when you go?’ You tried to argue with him for the hundredth time. 

‘Because we don’t know what kind of radiation the quantum realm gives off and you’re carrying my child. It’s too dangerous, I won’t have anything happen to you just because I’m a selfish bastard who always wants you by my side.’ You sighed into his chest, burying yourself there. 

‘Fine. But you’ll call me as soon as you get back?’

‘Of course Sweetheart. You won’t even notice I’m gone. Bruce said it’ll be a minute tops.’ His reassurance did little to calm your fraying nerves but you nodded, pressing your lips to his one last time. 

‘I love you Steve.’ Your eyes locked with his as you spoke, trying to memorise his every feature just in case. 

‘I love you too Sweetheart.’ You closed your eyes, trying to fight off the tears as you pulled away. Steve grabbed your hand and walked you back through to the hangar where the rest of the team were waiting.

You made your way around the circle, hugging everyone and wishing them good luck before reaching Nat. You hugged her a little longer, trying to savour the way she felt in your arms. Over the past five years she truly had become your family, acting almost like a sister and you had no idea what you would do if something happened to her. 

‘Be safe Nat. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ She squeezed you tightly before letting go, joining the others up on the platform. 

‘Everything’s going to be okay Sweetheart. Just drive home and I’ll meet you there in no more than half an hour.’ You took a calming breath of Steve’s scent and nodded. You pressed your lips to his one last time before slightly pulling back. 

‘You better come home to me soldier.’

‘Anything for you Sweetheart.’ With one last glance at him and the rest of the team you turned on your heel and left the compound, hoping back into the car and pulling out of the long driveway. 

The clock on the dashboard struck eleven just as you pulled into your own driveway and you sat, staring at your phone, willing it to ring.

+

‘And this James, this is my best friend Bucky. He’s your godfather and you’re also named after him.’ Steve stood tall, his arm slung around Bucky’s shoulders as he introduced him, a great smile on his face despite the day’s agenda. 

‘But his name is Bucky?’ You son questioned his father, confused how he could be named after someone who didn’t even share his name.

‘My first name is James. Bucky comes from my middle name Buchanan.’ James’ mouth opened into an o shape and he nodded in understanding. 

‘My middle name is Samuel.’ 

‘That’s another one of your dad’s friends but because I’m his best friend, I got your first name.’ You laughed as Bucky teased Sam even though he wasn’t there. Their friendly rivalry was hilarious to watch. 

You gazed adoringly as his attention turned back to the legos he had been playing with before and you sat on the couch, entwining your hand with Steve’s as he sat next to you. 

‘How are you coping Bucky? It must be strange to come back and find out five years have passed.’

‘You could say that again. Not much fundamentally has changed, it’s more just the people. I mean you and Steve got married and have a kid now. I still can’t believe you named him after me.’

‘Of course I did jerk. You’ve always been my best pal and there’s no one else I would want to look after him if anything were to happen to us.’ You nodded along with Steve as he spoke. You had discussed other options but Steve had refused to let go of the hope that Bucky would come back, believing that if he chose anyone else it would be bad karma. 

Bucky smiled at Steve’s words, his gaze once again cutting to James as he played, ‘and you have another one in the oven. Any thoughts on names?’

You shared a sneaky smile with Steve, your free hand coming up to rub softly over your stomach where you could feel them swirling around. ‘Well, we’re not too sure what their gender is, it’s always hard with serum babies.’ Steve nodded, undoubtedly flashing back to when you had found out you were pregnant with James. He had hounded every doctor he could find but done could tell the gender with certainty until he had been born. It was something about the enhanced uterine wall that made it impossible to see with an ultrasound. ‘So until we know for certain, we thought we’d keep our ideas close to our chest.’ 

Bucky smiled in understanding, and just as he went to say something, the shrill ring of a phone cut him off. Steve quickly fished it from his suit pocket. He glanced at the screen before lifting it to his ear and standing up, crossing the room as he spoke. ‘Sam hey man. Or should I call you ‘Captain’ now? How are you going?’ His voice faded as he wandered through the halls, presumably towards the kitchen judging by the direction his echos came from. 

‘So… How have you been y/n? The last time I saw you… well things were a bit different weren’t they?’ You smiled at Bucky, laughing slightly.

‘Yeah, a lot has changed. I can tell you’re confused by my life with Steve.’ Bucky nodded and you continued on. ‘After the battle of Wakanda Steve and I had a very long chat. He told me he loved me and basically begged for a do-over and well, I loved him too. So after coming up with our own lists of what we expected, we worked things out and I found a way to forgive him.’

‘But- but he kept you in a basement.’ You sighed and crossed the room to where he sat on the opposite couch, sitting down next to him. You held one of his hands in yours, your eyes locking with his as you spoke. 

‘I know that and I haven’t forgotten the worst of it. But I do love him. I know it wasn’t the best way to start our lives together and I know that if Steve could go back and change it, he would in a heartbeat because he loves me too. Trust that I’m not trying to sound condescending when I say, one day you’ll experience that kind of unconditional love. I mean, obviously Steve and I both love you unconditionally but you know what I mean. You’ll find a girl and she will become your everything and you’ll probably even think about kidnapping and hiding her away in your basement too.’ You tried to joke with him and he managed to crack a small smile before sighing longingly. 

‘Maybe you’re right.’

‘I’m always right.’ You shared a smile and heard the clearing of a throat as Steve stood in the doorway. 

‘We should get going. We don’t want to be late.’ You nodded, standing from the couch and grabbing the miniature suit jacket you had bought for your son. You helped him into it and grabbed your purse as you followed Steve out to the cars. You watched as Bucky got into his own, pulling out of the driveway and you buckled James in before hopping in the passenger seat. 

‘What was your little heart to heart about?’

You smiled, rolling your eyes briefly. ‘Not that it’s any of your business, but I told him not to worry. That someday he would find a girl who loves him just as much as I love you.’ Steve leaned over the consol, his lips brushing over yours softly. 

‘I love you too Sweetheart.’ You leaned back in your seat as the car pulled out of the driveway, heading for the Stark’s residence. 

+

You cradled James, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he stood in front of you. You tried to remain strong, after all you hadn’t known Tony all that well, but one look at your husband, standing tall with his jaw clenched as a single tear rolled down his cheek broke you. Before you knew it you were searching through your clutch for the tissues you had packed that morning, trying to quiet your sobs. It had been a beautiful ceremony, and as the barge sailed out over the water you couldn’t help but think that when you pass on, being laid to rest by the water would be nice. 

You watched as Pepper stood stock still, her gaze transfixed on the water and you felt awful. You had felt so relieved when Steve had pried open the steel door to the bunker you had hid yourself and James in when you saw the alien ship hovering above the compound. He had been so proud of you for looking after yourself and James and he had told you they had won. Yet, he hadn’t said at what price. Both Nat and Tony had given their lives and it had taken a while for that to settle in. Although the Avengers had been Nat’s family, Tony had a wife and child, nearly the same age as James. You and Pepper were basically in the same position except your husband had come back and guilt seemed to flood through you every time you spoke to the new widow. 

It was only as you were walking back up to the Stark’s house from the jetty that you felt it. A small trickle of water in between your legs. Your hand reached out instinctively, clasping Steve’s elbow, halting him in his tracks. 

‘Sweetheart? What’s wrong?’ Steve noticed the wild panic in your eyes as you clutched your stomach.

‘I think my water just broke.’ Your eyes met and you recognised the brief moment of panic as it passed through Steve before he sprung into action. He hoisted you up in his arms, carrying your bridal style despite your protests that you could still walk and rushed towards the car. He buckled you in before hurrying over to Bucky. You watched as they conversed briefly and then Steve called James over. You assumed he was telling James to stay with Bucky while he took you to the compound. You knew Bucky would be following in his car with James, making sure the little boy didn’t get bored or in the midwife’s way. 

Your contractions started surging through you when you were nearly halfway there and your grip on Steve’s thigh never let up. You had been dreading this day for months. It wasn’t that you weren’t thrilled to be having another child, but the pain of pushing James out had been a nightmare. It was a good thing Steve healed so quickly because you had squeezed Steve’s hand so tightly that his fingers had actually broke. 

Soon enough you pulled up at the compound and before you could even undo your seatbelt, Steve had already rushed around the car and plucked you up into his arms once more. You shook your head at his antics but you couldn’t deny the warmth it filled you with. 

He walked with you steadily to the medical wing where Dr. Cho and her team had been on standby for the last few weeks. All Steve had to say was ‘it’s happening,’ and suddenly there was a flurry of lab coats as they ushered you into a small private room, Steve never once letting go of you.

+

‘This is your baby sister.’ You watched exhaustedly as Steve introduced James to his new sister, a content smile on your face. It hadn’t been as bad as the first one and you had no doubt whatsoever that Steve would try for a third. 

The rest of your little family had squeezed into the room, desperate to meet the newest member. ‘So, now that you know the gender are you finally going to tell us her name?’ Sam teased as he leant on the doorway. Even though he’d barely been back a week Sam had insisted on sharing his suggestions for baby names left right and centre. Most of them had revolved around naming another kid after him. 

You and Steve shared a smile as he carried your daughter to the bed, and sat down next to you on the edge. 

‘Everyone, please meet Natalina Antonia Rogers.’ 

You could swear you saw tears forming in Clint’s eyes he took in the name, a sad smile on his face as he nodded. You tried to smile back but it turned into a yawn. The entire day had been exhausting from start to finish and no matter how excited you were to finally be able to hold Natalina in your arms, the desire to sleep for a hundred years was just as strong. 

‘Come on. We can all come back tomorrow. Mum and Dad are clearly exhausted.’ Sam teased once more, bending down to place a quick kiss on Natlaina’s head. ‘She truly is beautiful and if she’s anything like her namesake she’ll be a complete badass.’ You smiled and nodded, thanking him and then each of the fellow avengers they left one by one until it was just you and your happy little family. 

‘Do you want us to go too so you can get some sleep?’ You adamantly shook your head at Steve’s suggestion. That was the last thing you wanted.

‘No, say a little longer, please. I just want to be with my family. With that, Steve fully climbed into bed, cuddling you under his arm as he held Nataliana with the other and James followed his father’s example. Slowly your eyes began to drift shut as you nestled into his warmth, relishing in his embrace. 

You knew that raising two super serum children was going to be a challenge, but you also knew you had one of the world’s best men by your side and that he would do anything to keep his family safe. 

Fin. 

+


End file.
